Up again in the middle of the night.  I am so over tired.  I broke down and took an Ambien which made me sleep about an hour.  I want to sleep for 24 hours straight.  I came back to an uncomfortable situation on the blog after my trip up north and to my sisters.  Charlottesville came into play on a friend’s blog, at least I thought she was a friend.  I disagreed respectfully with her take in a comment to her.  She made a smart remark to me calling me “Miss love and light” which felt kind of like it was intended as an insult. Perhaps she didn’t mean it that way but that’s the way it came out.  I wrote another blog explaining why I sign off every blog with love and light, and what it means to me.  Her blog then disappeared, she claimed.

I guess I have been also irritated with her for a sudden change of heart she has had.  When I kept going back to the narcissist loser Scott repeatedly she got angry at me, yelling at me about what was I doing talking to him.  She was my most vocal critic and had a pet name she called him, Pigshit 2, or PS2 for short.  (PS1 was her own ex.)  I almost had him come down here, and it stopped with a drunken phone call from him, in which he discussed the 24 yr old that had been sexting with him, and how he was worried he’s somehow offended her because she stopped talking to him when he went to see her on his lunch hour.  Apparently, this had been going on for months.  At first, he said 6 months, and later denied it was for that long. Like drunk wasn’t bad enough, I had to hear about this sexting thing with a girl that could have been his granddaughter.  That was the end of that relationship. I remember going to bed shaking, thinking what the fuck was I thinking??  He lost his $500 ticket he’d bought to come down here.  Shortly after I met Dan, and you all know the story there.  We have been together 24/7 since.

The old one, Scott, started commenting on this friends blog, the one who did nothing but encourage me to kick him to the curb.  It was so transparent what he was doing,  Using her blog like a dating site of sorts, flirting with her.  She told me privately that she was just playing with him and would drop the hammer shortly.  I didn’t care if he talked to her at all, but I really thought that since she and I had a long relationship of a couple years, and she knew the pain this man had caused me, she would just tell him off, like she’d been doing behind the scenes for 2 years.  Instead, she has taken up flirting back at him, showing him the same shallow interest he shows her,  while he uses the same lines he used on me…..

Then she would text me and laugh at him behind his back, after his comments.  Most recently, he told her his sister was dying, she said to me she almost asked him if that was like when his mother died twice (a lie he told me when we were together.  He’d disappeared for a few days, ostensibly to take Betty on vacation.  But he told me his mother died.  Then two years later she died again, this time for real.)  So my friend and I were laughing about if this sister was going to die a few times also.  But to his face she went along with it in her blog comments, offering up sympathy and wondering if he wanted to talk about it.

I’ve considered putting up screenshots of the texts, but am choosing not to go that route at the moment.

I”m pretty sure all his comments are for my benefit, save the very few that are about the blog she wrote, and maybe they are for Betty’s benefit too, his old gf of 15 years, who he also treated miserably. I know through my statcounter that he and she both read my blog fairly obsessively (like 10 times yesterday) and this friend knows they both read hers.  Whatever.  I don’t care.  I can’t stop them from reading it, it’s a public blog.

But I’m watching her enjoying the attention she’s getting from a man who totally screwed me over.  A man she yelled at me to stop talking to, to stop writing for.  Just ever so slightly hypocritical.  Not a good friend.

So now I’ve alienated them both, I hope.  Let them talk, I certainly won’t be reading more of their conversations.  Not after her snide remarks to me.  And not after seeing that she doesn’t back her friends up.  He should have been banished from blog land, not given a venue spread his shit around her blog, and have her give it authenticity and validity by publishing his comments, and carrying on flirtatious conversations on a public blog.  I’m not jealous, and honestly don’t care that he comments at all on her blog (I long ago blacklisted him on mine, since he makes really foul comments at times.)  I am just sick of watching her game….thinking she’s playing him, while he’s playing her, and getting what he wants, which is press time for Betty and I to see.

I have a new man in my life, and old Scotty-Boy is a persona-non-grata to me.  She, however, is a big disappointment.  I thought we were friends.  When her alcoholic son kept showing up passed out on her porch, I spent days with her on the phone helping her out, supporting her.  And she thinks that it’s ok to admonish me for talking to Scott, who I really did care for at one point, but then let him into her blog, and carry on what are really private conversations in the comments with him that have nothing to do with her blog, oblivious to the type of man she knows he is.  It’s obvious that she is enjoying his attention, for whatever reason he gives it to her.  Maybe she just likes leading people on, like she led me.

Funny the way things turn out.  I guess it’s for the better.  Got a couple narcissists out of my life this time.  Didn’t think she was, but I’m learning.  Friendship meant nothing to her.  Well, now her so-called friendship means nothing to me.

Now that I have vented this, and put the facts out for the purpose of having the truth on the table, I will let it go, and forget about it. I have a wonderful life here, and I will only look forward.

Love and light.