Against all odds, I am so happy today. Against the odds? Why, one might ask? Or most likely not, lol, as my little world does not spread so far and wide. But it’s worth remarking on, today.
I slept terribly last night. For the most part, lately, I have been sleeping the sleep of the dead. Asleep for 7 or even 8 hours, with no artificial inducement like Ambien. Just sleep, blessed sleep. Last night,no.
I woke about 2 in the morning, and my right elbow was just throbbing. Why, I don’t really know. Although, with thought I might say that I have been feeling much less pain since starting the cannabinoid tincture, so perhaps I overworked that particular joint. Usually, in bed, I can find a position that doesn’t hurt, and get to sleep. But last night no. My elbow was just painful enough to keep me awake.
So, why am I happy today? Because my significant other, Dan, felt me stirring, and woke up. Instead of being angry I woke him, he wondered if I were ok/ Did I need anything? I first took two tylenol. But 20 min. later, it still hurt. Dan stayed up with me. Did I want to go to the hot tub? No….I was so tired, I would have but just didn’t want to walk the 100 yards over there. I finally said, “I think I need an ice pack.” And was about to get out of bed and get one, but he beat me to it, and began to dig through the freezer for an ice pack. He came back with it wrapped in a towel, and a band to secure it to my arm, and helped me get it on.
About 5 minutes later my arm stopped throbbing. I turned to him and said, “You’re so good to me.” He said, “It’s unbelievable to me that you just never had anyone who gave a shit before.” He was right, I hadn’t. But I did now. It’s friggin’ amazing, to have someone who truly gives a shit about how you feel, what you say, what you dream. I mean, with this new diagnosis of RA….to not be facing that all alone. To be with someone who encourages me to treat myself well, to take care of myself.
Then, today I got a notice that my new bedspread was delivered to my house. My old bedspread was stained, from my cat, but I loved it so, and kept it. It needed replacing. I found the EXACT same one online, for about what I paid for it 6 years ago. So, I told Dan I wanted to run to my house and get it off my front stoop and put it on the bed. He had no problem. I know that sounds like no big deal, and it shouldn’t be. But stuff like that always was. Stuff I needed….I needed to do alone or wait. Not now. I have a partner. It’s friggin’ amazing.
On the way back, when we drove into the community where Dan lives, he pulled over and told me it was time I drove his truck. It’s a Ford F150, fairly new, with the double cab. It’s a BIG truck. Now, I’ve driven other trucks, my ex and I had always had a pick-up truck. But this one was new…idk, it’s been awhile. But I got into it, drove around his community, and parked it, using the back-up camera.
Then we split a bottle of wine over a plate of bruschetta. Then we made an awesome dinner. Then we thought we’d go soak in the hot tub and work out a little in the pool.
So….I’m happy. You know, that kind of happiness that radiates outward, so that your mouth is in a perpetual smile. Yeah, that. Happyness.
Love and light, everyone.