It has occurred to me that one reason writing is my preferred method of communicating is because I can just back out the words, if I decide I don’t like them. Or stash them where no one will see them. Or just edit them, change them, at will before anyone has read them.
Sometimes I wish I could do that with the spoken word. Don’t we all wish we could take back some of the words that come out of our mouth? I realize that I can think things, but stash them and NOT say them. But too often I speak them without first fully comprehending their effect on the person to whom I am speaking. (Did that sound like Lily Tomlin? “Is this the person to whom I am speaking?”) Of course, then we find ourselves embarrassed or apologetic or some other negative emotion that’s not exactly pleasant.
So, last night I was trying to write. A poem, to be exact. I started with a basic idea, and wanted to write a haiku, but could only make it a 4 line verse. Not happy with it. Opened a new doc and just wrote the first thing that came to my mind, because often that turns into something. But, it didn’t. Then I fell asleep with the computer on my lap, and gave up, lol. So, this morning, on perusing what I wrote, I kept the first 4 line poem, and the second, I deleted. Ah, the loveliness of being able to once again have a blank page, where that false start of a poem no longer appeared.
Wouldn’t it be cool if we could do that when talking to people? Especially people who we love, who are important to us, but with whom we may have a disagreement? Just not say the things that we won’t like 10 seconds after we say them? Not say the things that as soon as we say them we realize they are ridiculous, or hurtful, or maybe hilarious but not true? Not sayin’ that I do this a lot, but like most people, I do it. And wish I didn’t.
Writing is so much easier, because it doesn’t take place in real time. It is a conversation we are having with ourselves, and maybe others, but with a delay on it, so we can edit it, or choose not to say it, or get more information before we do, or consider the consequences better. But perhaps I need to work on my verbal skills a little. Or a lot…. Maybe become more present in the conversation, in real time, and more thoughtful about what I say.
Hmm. Present, in the moment, in the conversation. That alone causes us to be more thoughtful, doesn’t it? It’s kind of like writing, I guess. If you’re in the zone when you write, then it’s easy and it’s clear, and it pours out of your heart. Too often in a conversation I am multi-tasking, having a conversation and thinking about what we should have for dinner, and if we need to get to the store, and is there laundry that needs doing, and I should be calling my sister too.
Just musings this morning, on being able to just back words out of my life, with so much ease. Push of a button and they are gone, and I can start fresh. Spoken words don’t afford us that luxury, so I think I may try harder at weighing the words I speak before I speak them.
Now to decide if I want to publish this.
Love and light, everyone.