My life, recently, has been about pests. Getting rid of them, which, in Florida, is apparently an endless task.

First, I had these things called “ghost ants”. They are the tiniest little buggars, the size of this period at the end of the sentence. They love sugar. I left a birthday cake for a friend on the counter and 10 minutes later 100, maybe 1000, of these things were crawling all over the plate. (Weirdly, they did not get to the cake, just the frosting on the plate.) I have been trying since I moved here to get rid of them, but that was really the last straw. Right after that I happened to be at Dan’s when his condo got it’s every-other-month bug treatment. We arranged for him to come to my house, because I am sick of these things. He came and I spent $85 for the initial treatment, which included dealing with the fire ants that live in the ground around my flower beds. Now he will come every couple of months to maintain. I have only seen a couple of them since he was here.

Second. As soon as I got rid of the damn ants, the fruit rats came back. And they ate a hole in edge of the recliner at the end of my couch. Maybe since there was no food they could eat? But it was obvious, because they left a couple of rat poops on the seat. Freak me the F**K out. Also found that they had chewed through a zip-lock in my pantry to eat a hole in the taco shells inside it. And tried to get into the gourmet popcorn which we buy at the fresh market, but couldn’t it. Gratefully. Again, I have had enough, and Dan too. So we called the bug guy again, because his company is “pest” control, not just “bug” control. He came back, and explained how it was going to be difficult to definitively get rid of them, but that there were ways to deter them. He set better traps than we had, he put bait up in the attic that would make them sick and die, and he put bait traps around the yard that will make them sick and supposedly drive them away. He thinks it will work, but we can’t be sure. He will add dealing with the rats to my every-other-month treatment for $10 more.

Third. This morning, Dan came out of the bathroom and told me he saw some critter poops on my bathroom sink. I mean, REALLY????? I looked at them, and they are mouse poops, not rat poops. No sign of rat poops since the bug guy set the traps. Now I have mice. I mean, seriously, WTF???

And this all on top of those giant frigging cockroaches, palmetto bugs. I saw one in a cabinet the other day, alive, but it disappeared before I could catch it. A day later we found one standing still, right side up, on the floor. I hope it was the same one.

I am tired this am. We went out to open mic night last night, had a really nice evening, and then were up quite late. I’ve been exhausted lately, (rheumatoid arthritis can make you really really tired) but yesterday had a good day. Today I am tired though, and the damn mouse poops did me in. Told Dan I was so sick of dealing with this crap that I was ready to sell the house. He said, “Deb, welcome to Florida. They are just part of life.” Thank God he is in my life. He shares the good stuff and the bad stuff with me. Never walks away telling me it’s my problem. That’s priceless.

I still love my life here, but at the moment, am sick of this downside. Probably need to get some sleep, lol. Love and light.