It’s Mother’s Day today, and I’m feeling blessed by the mothers who have been in my life. Of course, first was my own mother. I lost her 2 ½ years ago at the age of 94, when she finally gave up the fight after a massive stroke 18 months earlier. She lived her life out with grace and honor, even when she could not speak, read, or write. She never lost her smile or her laugh, always knew my voice on the phone (I lived a long ways away in CT while she lived here, in FL), and could still say “I love you Debbie.” Since she couldn’t really speak, we asked the doctor how she could say that, and wasn’t it an indication that she could get her speech back. He replied that she could say things that didn’t require thought…..like telling her 3 girls that she loved them. She didn’t have to think about it, and I am forever grateful that she loved us like that.
Other mothers too, have made an impression on me. My younger sister, with 5 children and not a lot of assets when they were young, had to live through the experience of losing one of her children in a car accident halfway around the world. I think that in the end, my sister refused to let the experience make her harsh, or cold, or bitter, but instead she chose to appreciate all that she had, and love her other 4 children and 3 grandchildren even more fiercely. I watch my older sister trying to help her daughter weave through the pain of a divorce, and even though it was a short marriage, the pain for both she and her daughter seems very great. I hope it is all resolved soon, and they can both move into happier times, counting the blessings they have, which are many.
I see my friends, whose now adult children range from very successful to struggling to find their way, and I am so grateful that they allowed me to learn from their experiences, and to share in them, so that I too might grow. Since I never lived closed to my family, my friends were my family most of my life, and I was treated that way, included in all the pain and sorrow and joy and happiness that a family can experience.
I see Dan’s mother, at 91, still parenting, still giving what she can, wanting the best for her kids, despite her physical ailments. I see her true happiness for Dan, that he’s found a partner and is pursuing a new passion in boating.
I see Dan’s daughter, going through a divorce with two young children, and I so admire her grace, and refusal to get caught up in any drama over it. She chose to let go, rather than fight for more, and she let go of a lot. She did it because she’s a wonderful mom, who strives to make sure her two young boys don’t suffer needlessly. I admire her strength, and tenacity, and how much her children love her and each other.
I have been blessed as a mother to have a son who is working hard at making his niche in life. Even though he lives 2000 miles away, we are still very close, and often speak a few times a day. I’m so proud of the man he’s become. That’s the best gift anyone could have for Mother’s Day, to see your children become strong, and independent, and loving and kind. He’s given me that.
I’m wishing a happy Mother’s Day to all mothers everywhere. I hope everyone can celebrate the wonderful mothers in their life today. Love and light to all.