Shaking Off The Shudders

Yesterday, just yesterday, I was lamenting my slight case of writers block, and of not having the time to spend at this craft that I like to spend. Just goes to show that when there’s something to say, you find the time.

Dan and I had a busy day yesterday. We just went and went, all day long. At 6:30 or 7 we were leaving the marine store, not having eaten since noon, and then all I had was a yogurt, and he asked me if I was hungry. Duh, yes. Starving. “Well, lets go to the buffet it’s only a mile from here.” Sounded like a good idea, even though I think it’s impossible not to eat to much at a buffet. At least for me. But it’s a good buffet, so off we went.

While sitting eating, Dan could see some of the big TV screens on the wall, and it didn’t take long before we found out about the shooting in Texas. Another damn shooting, of our children. By a child. Despite our good, albeit busy, day, it threw our mood. How can those in power have done NOTHING to stop this from happening? WTF. How many more? Apparently, there’s no limit. The answer is blowin’ in the wind. Until someone, or ones, who are in a position to affect change, actually do.

Next, I checked on my FB for a purpose, because we had a question about something that I knew the answer was there. Normally, I am not one of those people who sticks their focus on the phone while I eat, especially at a restaurant. It’s much more enjoyable to talk with Dan. But I digress. I opened FB and the first thing I read is that my sisters neighbor across the street had died. She had been sick with leukemia for about 3 years, I think. She just left Florida to go home a few weeks ago. I guess she just wanted to be there, with her family, because it was just a couple short weeks until she passed on once she got home. She was my friend too. I always enjoyed catching up with her in my sisters hot tub with a glass of wine. She was a massage therapist and had a penchant for beautiful crystals, like me. She was one of those people that I was pretty sure I’d known in another life, because as soon as I first met her when I began to visit my sister down here, I felt like I knew her.

Now I am slightly worried for her husband, who had a leg amputated a few years ago, wondering who will take care of him. (I say slightly, because I think they have family up north who will assist in his care. He may have to go to an assisted living facility. I am sure they worked all that out ahead of time.) And to make it even sadder, she has an adult daughter with multiple sclerosis. She had a hard life, that many would complain about but I don’t think I ever saw her without a smile on her face. She was full of life, and I will miss her.

So after I found out about her, I find, also on FB, in the next post, that one of my little sisters best friends, a musician from Scotland whom she considered family, had passed, and her family was putting up a lot of tributes and photos of him with them. That made me so sad for them, because I knew it was a huge loss for them, and they are a family which has known loss.

So much sadness around last night. It was hard to fathom, hard to process all that death, natural and purposefully evil. I guess it was the evil of a mass shooting at the same time as the deaths that are just the natural course of life that got to me. How does someone get so sick in the mind that they can justify killing 10 young people, and no one noticed all the signs apparently? Or, at least, no one took the signs seriously until it was too late.

I fell asleep on the couch early last night, before 10. But then when I went to bed was unable to get to sleep, for hours. I tried all my methods, meditation music, a smoke, and finally an Ambien, and I guess I fell sound asleep around 2:30 or 3. I woke up about 4 hours later, maybe 4 ½.

Tonight we are going to the final night party at the restaurant that holds open mic, and I have to go whether I’m tired or not. Everyone I know will be there, it’s such a great community, I would not want to miss this milestone in our evolution. Even though I am a little irritated with the owner of the restaurant, because we asked to have a table reserved for us, the regulars who come there every week. She knows us all by name. It would have been about 10 or 12 people. The owner refused, and said it’s first come first serve. She went on FB asking people to bring chairs with them, because they are always running out of chairs there. The party goes on from 5 to 10, coinciding with the regularly scheduled Third Saturday artwalk in town. So, to get a table with our friends will mean we have to be there before 5….that’s a long night. But, I’m sure it will be a fun party. Pretty much everyone who has ever played there will be performing tonight. A good way to get over all the negative energy and sadness of yesterday.

This morning Dan and I have to get his pick-up truck set up to trail the boat to the yard for painting. It’s a new truck and has some kind of system that you put stickers on the trailer in specific places and the truck will pretty much back you up to it exactly. That’s what we have to do is figure out where all the stickers go, etc. To do it we have to have the trailer and truck on level ground, so we have to trail it to a parking lot because the boat on the trailer will basically block my street if we pull it out there. It’s a narrow street, that I mistook for a driveway when I moved here. I’m so tired from lack of sleep last night, I hope I am more of a help than a hindrance in the process. And I hope there’s an hour or two for a nap this afternoon before we leave for the party. I know Dan did not sleep well either last night. His back has been bothering him and when I woke this morning there was an ice pack in bed with me, still pretty cold. He could use a nap too.

Life is full of ying and yang isn’t it? Though it seems, we could all do with a little less of the swing between the two. An even keel is so much more enjoyable. I’m praying that the collective consciousness will evolve quickly and lift all hearts to a place of love, and end the shudders of evil that shake our ground so often.

As ever, love and light to all.

One response to “Shaking Off The Shudders

  1. It seems the older we get, the more people die. That’s natural when the people are up in age. But the children dying by violence, that is not natural at all. I’m praying your beautiful prayer with you that “the collective consciousness will evolve quickly and lift all hearts to a place of love.”

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