I made a reservation today, on Southwest, to go to CT. It was not a joyful, happy thing to do. I had reservations about making it, mostly because the reason I have to go is such a sad one.

I’m going Tuesday, to go to the funeral of my best friends 30 year old son. He has battled drug addiction for at least a decade, and the drugs finally claimed him. She called me yesterday to tell me, between her sobs.

They got a knock on thedoor st 5:30 AM. I am sure her husband had a reservation about answering that knock. The police were there to tell her husband that his son had been found dead of an overdose in a park in downtown Hartford.

She said she will never forget how she heard her husband wail. It makes me cry to imagine it.

This boy, this young man, had seemingly everything to live for. A nice girlfriend, a baby son not yet a year old. He grew up in a very loving family, with 2 loving parents, a sister and a brother.

The drugs are powerful. If one lives through it long enough, they have a chance. But that’s the trick, that’s the caveat, that’s the sorrow. Most addicts can’t make it that long.

So, it’s with great sadness that I go to my old home. I have to go. I have to be there for my friend. I told her and her hubby today and she cried. Her husband said I didn’t need to do that, and my friend said “DONT YOU DARE SAY THAT.” Because she needs me there. And I need to be there.

I’ll be staying with my, our, other BFF. These two families were my de facto family for most of my life. They got me through so many tough tough times.

Dan is not coming. Even though I would love him to go. These are the friends we stayed with last summer, and who visited us this winter. It’s Dan’s choice to make, and its pretty expensive last minute. There are a lot of loose ends here that he needs to attend to. He spoke to the father, my friends husband, today, and I think it helped my friend. I have some serious reservations about going without Dan, because he is my rock, and I teeter on the edge of wondering how I will get through it without him. But he will be there for me, on the phone, on FaceTime. We’ll be ok.

I just hope my friends will be ok. It is just so wrong, so terribly wrong, to lose your child. I hope I can help them get through it in some way.

As always, love and light.

This post is true, and is written for the Stream if Consciousness Saturday prompt by Linda G. Hill. If you’d like to join in the prompt, please visit her page at http://www.lindaghill.com and click on the link for Stream of Consciousness Saturday for all the rules and instruction.