Note:  I started this Question of the Day thing, fully intending to ask a question every day.  But a daily question became more than I could handle, so I’m changing it to Question of the Moment.

Is there anything in your life you’d like to do-over?  And if there is, what would it be?

I am not sure I can answer this. Would I change the fact that I stayed in a bad marriage so long? My son came from that marriage, which puts an immeasurable value on it. Should I have gotten out earlier? When my son was small? I could write a long blog about what might have been, vs what was. Would I do over that drama filled relationship I was in for too long? Maybe. In the grand scheme of things, when I look at my life’s journey, it is a small, scant part of it and really has no significance. Maybe I would finish college, I’d like to have gotten a degree. Instead I worked with my ex for 30 years. We built a thriving business and lost it. There were some wonderful benefits to that, and some terrible drawbacks. If I’d finished college, I wouldn’t have worked with him, and who knows where that path might have led.

But honestly, I tend to look at the difficult things in my life as my lessons to learn. Dan and I had a conversation about young people dying the other day. I thought about my niece, who died in a car accident 14 years ago at 24. She was brilliant (valedictorian of her class, went to University of Texas on a full ride), and beautiful, and funny, and kind and compassionate. I always considered her an old soul. I think maybe when she died, she was done with whatever she came here to do. I don’t imagine that she had serious regrets, because she gave her all to everything she did. We were not done, her family, in any way and still, even though we talk about the fun times with her, which were constant, we still grieve, that hard gut wrenching grief.

Then I think about my best friends son who died of a drug overdose this summer, at the age of 29, and Ido- know he was not done, that he was just on the cusp of a new life, a happy life, but got caught up in the old one just one too many times. I know he has regrets, and probably a list of things he’d like to have had a chance to do over. I’ve heard it said that those addicted to drugs can break the addiction if they can live through it. Sadly, many, maybe most, do not. He was one who wanted to….and he was creating a life with his girlfriend that would have lent itself to an addiction free existence.

So, for me? I don’t have any big regrets, because the things I regret occasionally, also had treasure buried in them. I don’t think I’d do any of them over. I learned from them all, I have much more balance, and happiness right now as a result of the life I’ve lived. All of it.

So, do-overs. What do you think about the idea? Would you, if you could? And if you would, and you could, what would it be?

nswer this. Would I change the fact that I stayed in a bad marriage so long? My son came from that marriage, which puts an immeasurable value on it. Should I have gotten out earlier? When my son was small? I could write a long blog about what might have been, vs what was. Would I do over that drama filled relationship I was in for too long? Maybe. In the grand scheme of things, when I look at my life’s journey, it is a small, scant part of it and really has no significance. Maybe I would finish college, I’d like to have gotten a degree. Instead I worked with my ex for 30 years. We built a thriving business and lost it. There were some wonderful benefits to that, and some terrible drawbacks. If I’d finished college, I wouldn’t have worked with him, and who knows where that path might have led.

But honestly, I tend to look at the difficult things in my life as my lessons to learn. Dan and I had a conversation about young people dying the other day. I thought about my niece, who died in a car accident 14 years ago at 24. She was brilliant (valedictorian of her class, went to University of Texas on a full ride), and beautiful, and funny, and kind and compassionate. I always considered her an old soul. I think maybe when she died, she was done with whatever she came here to do. I don’t imagine that she had serious regrets, because she gave her all to everything she did. We were not done, her family, in any way and still, even though we talk about the fun times with her, which were constant, we still grieve, that hard gut wrenching grief.

Then I think about my best friends son who died of a drug overdose this summer, at the age of 29, and I  know he was not done, that he was just on the cusp of a new life, a happy life, but got caught up in the old one just one too many times. I know he has regrets, and probably a list of things he’d like to have had a chance to do over. I’ve heard it said that those addicted to drugs can break the addiction if they can live through it. Sadly, many, maybe most, do not. He was one who wanted to….and he was creating a life with his girlfriend that would have lent itself to an addiction free existence.

So, for me? I don’t have any big regrets, because the things I regret occasionally, also had treasure buried in them. I don’t think I’d do any of them over. I learned from them all, I have much more balance, and happiness right now as a result of the life I’ve lived. All of it.

So, do-overs. What do you think about the idea? Would you, if you could? And if you would, and you could, what would it be?