Ruminations

My son has been here for a few days. Trying to sort through my emotions this morning, while it’s quiet, I realize there is only one. It is the bond of love we share and always have. I’ve always known, believed, that no one can ever break that between us. Mother and child, eternal.

There were times I lacked faith, hard times in our lives. But they seem minimal now, just something we had to go through to get where we are.

He is kind. He works hard and has a tremendous work ethic. He is tall, and strong, and handsome. He has a girlfriend, with whom he is trying to build a life. She has a little daughter, who calls him “Dad” and who he loves. He is trying to be to her the father he didn’t have, or at least lost, as mental illness gradually took his father. I am proud of him.

He’s making this life with his girlfriend and daughter in Colorado. They rent a nice house, they have a couple of older but decent vehicles. They both work full time. He seems happy.

He talks though, of moving here, in the future. To be closer. I have thought so many times while he’s been here, how wonderful it would be to have him close enough to come over anytime, to spend days in the boat with us. To come for dinner on the spur of the moment. I do believe that he’ll move here one day, but probably not anytime soon.

He likes Dan. A lot. He told me in private, that he felt absolutely “no bad juju from Dan.” That in fact, Dan was probably the most “real” person he’d ever met. This filled me with joy, my son needs that in his life, a strong centered male. He told me I “did good” this time, lol. (He did not like my previous choice, not at all. Rightfully so.) My son and Dan have a few things in common, one of which is a strong sense of personal responsibility, and of honor, of doing the right thing.

Tomorrow night he’ll fly home again, and we’ll go back to our daily, usually multiple times, phone calls and facetime. The thought of that constricts my throat, but for today, I will just enjoy him. We’re going out to breakfast, and then to the beach for a while.

Miraculously, the red tide has left our favorite beach here in the last couple of days. We went to a restaurant on the beach last night, and people were in the water, the water color was the normal blue/turquoise, and there was no bad smell, there were no dead fish floating in it. Beaches north and south of this one still have some red tide, though it’s better at all of them. Most were closed a week ago. Most are open now, with a few caveats about the tide. Hopefully, the red tide is over, going back where it came from.

Sometimes I’m amazed at how life has turned out, for me, for him, for Dan. Things could have been so different, when I look at where we all were at different times in our lives, but I think every challenge we each have faced has lifted us as we worked through them. These two men are the wind beneath my wings. At the moment, I feel it all coming together in ways I could only have dreamed about even a few short years ago.

Feeling blessed this morning. As ever, love and light to all.

2 responses to “Ruminations

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