Update

The mini-reunion of old friends is winding down. At one point, on Monday night, there were 5 of us sleeping here in my tiny house. Funny how when we did this 3 years ago, my friends stayed up late, ’til 3 AM, talking. This time we were all asleep by midnight. The friend who’s staying all week is more on my schedule of going to bed around 10:30 and up around 6:30, so that works well.

I’ve been surprised how well I’ve been sleeping with all these people in the house. Perhaps I’m just exhausted because I’ve been going going going every day since last Thurs. I am usually out one or two nights a week, until 9 or so. Never late. Almost always it’s to go see friends playing music. I’m happy I’m sleeping. There’s something comforting having people here who have known me and each other our whole lives. No one is acting, no one is putting on a show. We can all just be ourselves and know we are accepted. It’s nice after being blindsided by someone who can act, but not feel.

It’s been pretty cold here on the west coast of Florida for a few days. Like highs in the 50’s, and Wednesday morning woke up to a temp near freezing, 36°. And windy. We actually had a wind chill, instead of our usual heat index. But today it’s going back up to the 70’s, so I’m happy my friend will get a day or two of more typical weather. We were going to go over to the barrier beaches last night so she could see a Gulf sunset but it was just too cold out. So we went out to Dunkin, and got some ice cream at the Baskin-Robbins attached to it.

Today I think we’re going to the Sunken Gardens in St. Pete, and then maybe across the street to Trader Joes. My friend has never been there. She lives in the Adirondacks of NY, in a town with a year-round population of less than 100. No TJ”s there, lol. And tonight, I’ll take her to open mic for a bit. The friend who plays Tibetan bowls at the sound healing had her birthday yesterday, so they will have a cake, etc., tonight at open mic for her. And it’s also the bass player’s (with the house band) birthday, so his name will be on the cake too. It will be fun. We have some plans for tomorrow, her last full day here too. I will honestly need a rest when everyone is gone.

I’m hoping Dan doesn’t show up at any of the venues tonight or tomorrow. I’m guessing tomorrow’s he may show though. I have done my best to make sure everyone knew I didn’t want anyone to feel that they had to choose between us, that I can be in the same place as him, and ok with it, as long as he leaves me alone, which he will. But still, it’s easier for me not to see him at all. I sent him a text a couple days ago, asking him to pay his portion of the phone bill, and to get his phone off of my bill by the end of the billing cycle. He sent me the money but no word about him getting off the bill and switching to his own account. I also asked him to let me know his plans for getting the boat back on the trailer correctly. He said he had no plans, but maybe we’d talk about it this week. I’m not looking forward to that, but it has to be. We need to get this boat sold, and out of my yard.

I am enjoying being alone, not having to listen to constant complaining which came on so slowly that I didn’t realize it was happening until it stopped, and I had peace and quiet and was able to feel happy, even joyful, and certainly grateful, about life, without the innuendo that I was naive, or whatever it was. When he tired of acting with me, the real him came out. The one who’s never been happy in his life (so he says). I’m thinking that’s where his thought process goes, and he manifests what he thinks about. I feel for him, to have nothing in his life that makes him joyful. Even his grandsons he wants to get away from after a few days. Sad. Really sad.

Well, my friend is up now, and we’re watching the sunrise out my kitchen window. Joy. The world is a beautiful place, and I’m feeling grateful I can enjoy it.

Love and light to all.

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