Working It Out, From the Doldrums to Gratitude

It’s a beautiful day here in the Tampa Bay area. One of the many things I have to be grateful for: the blue blue sky, the palm trees swaying gently, the early morning light casting long shadows, the warmth of the sun. I feel very blessed to have landed here, and never more than right now when we are all sequestered in our homes.

I woke up this morning, not in a good mood. I knew I should be grateful for many things, but that deep feeling of gratitude wasn’t bubbling into my consciousness this morning. My back which has bothered me for months now, was particularly achy when I got up. I stopped going to the chiropractor because I am just uncomfortable being in their office, even if I wear a mask and gloves. Like many people during this lockdown, instead of losing weight, I gained a pound. That alone is enough to piss me off. But truth be told, I am definitely not getting enough exercise. As I walked into the kitchen to make coffee, I thought “another boring day. What can I do today that might pull me out of these doldrums I am in.”

Let me say, that doldrums is not a place I’m familiar with. I was alone this morning, Dan will be over later, I’m pretty sure. And I really have never minded being alone too much. I think it’s probably a good thing for us that he is not here, because my initial mood this morning was selfish, and self-centered, feeling a bit sorry for myself.

But I went ahead, made my coffee, took my insulin, made myself a small bowl of fruit as I do every morning, and pulled an ice pack out of the freezer. I sat at my kitchen table next to my open windows, and within minutes my back felt better. I perused the news on Apple News on my phone, and the lead story was from the Washington Post (I was happy I could read it) about how New York’s statistics are providing some hope, even if our nation had it’s worst day ever. We were told this week and next would be the worst of it, but they are saying that the numbers may not be as bad as we were initially told, and as Gov. Cuomo said, “It’s not an act of God we are looking at, it’s an act of what society actually does.”

This is not to say that perhaps it’s an act of God that we are mostly doing what we need to, to curb this vicious virus. But that’s another discussion, and for the purposes of this blog, I’ll go along with Cuomo’s assessment. We are, collectively, doing what we need to do to stop the spread of this thing, but also, to survive it. Is there a choice here? Not for most of us.

I’m gonna guess that I’m not the only person who is sick of this isolation. And truth be told, I’m not that isolated. Two of my best friends live a few houses down from me, and when I go for a walk in the morning I often see them sitting outside, and stop and talk. I have Dan with me often, and what a blessing it is to have even one person with whom I can be close, with whom the social distancing thing is not necessary. I heard from my friend Linda in CT last night, my gong mentor. She and her husband taught me, by osmosis, everything I know about sound healing. I say, by osmosis, because they never tried to teach me, but performed sound healing/gong baths twice a month for years and I rarely missed any of them. I also heard from a fairly new friend who loves our sound healing at the beach and asked me if we could do a virtual one. Another friend called me last night just to check on me, and another texted me to remind me to go out and look at the full moon.

So, my isolation is not so bad, is it?

Writing this has brought me back to gratitude, and the feeling now rises in me from the depths at which I buried it.  Being able to feel gratitude leads to so much more inner peace with all of this. I hope and pray that when this is over, there is a new normal across the globe. One that understands the connection we all have to each other, one that takes us away from so much materialism to an appreciation of all we have. I hope that the good effects on the earth of industrialized nations having to shut down temporarily will translate into our caring for the earth better, and more lovingly. That our steps upon the earth are gentle and loving, no longer displaying careless and calculated disregard for our planet.

I hope that all my readers are safe, and well. Sending love and light to all.

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