The last 8 weeks have been tough ones, as I try to get back on my feet. Or legs, more literally. Most of my cognizant effort has been trying to figure out how to stay on my feet the least amount of time, how to get from one room to another without aggravating the pain. It seems though, that I am actually making some headway.

I went to my pain management dr on Tuesday. After he twisted my hip and knee into positions that were torturous, he told me that he’s not recommending an epidural for me right now. He believes most of the pain is coming from my damaged SI joint/muscle. He made an appointment for me to come back next week and get a different kind of shot there in my SI joint. He said it’s less invasive than an epidural but more invasive than the cortisone shots he gave me a couple weeks ago.

Anyway, I was at the point that I don’t really care what they have to do, but they need to relieve this pain somehow so I can have a normal life. He did say as I left that I’m really doing much better, that I’m walking straighter (compared to walking like a 100 yr old woman with a cane.) And even though I still have pain, he’s right, I am taking less pain med (Tylenol) and have had more days I call “good” than “bad”. Slow but sure, I am improving.

I have gotten depressed in the last few weeks, which is not something I’m prone to. It’s just the constant pain, and my inability to do anything. Like washing a plate, fork and a glass is difficult. My house needs vacuuming, but I haven’t figured out how to get that one done. Maybe today. At least one room.  I decided as I went to sleep last night to make a list of productive things I HAVE done, because it’s not really that bad.

Here’s my list from yesterday. I read. I’m reading two books, one a rather heavy history, and one a lighthearted romance. When I get sick of one, I can go to the other.

I also colored, with my adult coloring book and colored pencils. It’s a wonderful way to stop thinking about my health problems. iT Helps me to focus on something else, and create something. Even if I don’t draw, I can create some form of art, which satisfies me.

I dropped off my prescription for 7 more hydrocodone at the pharmacy.

I got gas in my car.

I made potato salad. I can do that sitting down mostly.

I had a long conversation with my older sister, which I enjoyed.

I made myself a lunch, and a dinner. And cleaned it up. Without firing my nerve endings up. That tells me I am much better.

And I’ve lost 5 lbs. A silver lining of sorts.

I managed to stay off my feet for a good part of yesterday, which really helps to heal. I couldn’t sit outside too long though, as the heat index was over 100°, and even my shaded back deck was stifling. There was basically no breeze, but I did get out and enjoy the outdoors. Lots of geckos and butterflies.

It seems I had a pretty good day. The second day in a row. Today seems to be the 3^rd. The improvement comes in very small increments, but if I put them all together, I am better. I’m hopeful about the shot I’m getting next week. I know it will hurt like hell when he does it, but I am pretty sure I will feel better later that day, or the next.

The virus is raging here. So, I don’t feel bad I can’t go out, because in this small town, about half the restaurants have had cases of COVID-19 among their staff. For the most part, that doesn’t even make them close down. They put the infected staff member in quarantine, but not the rest of the staff. They take temperatures of their staff when they report to work, but they are staying OPEN. So….I’m not going anywhere. There are a couple of restaurants I’d be tempted to visit where I know they go above and beyond, but even that is scary to me.

I can’t wrap my head around people who refuse to wear masks. My son had a family of 3 try to come into his store in CO yesterday, He informed them at the door that they needed masks to shop in his store. The man argued with him, saying it was not the law. He said, “It is, in this store.” So the guy put on his mask, which had been in his pocket, and covered his CHIN. Um….really? My son said, “no, you need to put it over your chin and your nose.” The man continued to argue, as his family (wife and a child about 3) watched. Great example, right? Anyway, after being repeatedly told (very politely) h couldn’t come in he continued to argue and refused to leave the store. So my son said, “Ok, then. I’ll call the police substation that’s 600’ down the hall, and they will escort you out.”

Which they did.

I feel bad for my kid, because he was the only staff member on the floor. He has to monitor the door, the dressing rooms which are closed, and assist customers. Since no one can try clothes on in the store, he is faced with a pile of returns every day, And here he is having to argue with some self-centered idiot that can’t see that it’s not different requiring a mask than to require shoes. Come on folks. Could this family man not just pretend that he cared about his fellow human beings? Son deals with this crap every day, numerous times, though this is the first one he’s had to call for help on.

I’m grateful that he lives in CO right now, because their governor seems to have a much better handle on reducing the infection rate than our tRumpian governor, who, like his mentor, keeps passing the responsibility off to the county in much the same way as tRump does to the state, refusing to make a policy that works for the greater good and gives everyone guidance. A couple days ago FL had over 5500 new cases, has been setting and breaking records daily. And still no coherent policy.

I’m grateful that tRump seems to be falling in the polls daily. That also gives me hope.

So…it seems that I am grateful and hopeful, in a number of ways. And figuring out how to be even slightly productive, which is good.

I hope everyone is safe and well, and doing what they need to do to stay that way. Love and light to all.