My heart is not subject to depression usually. I cannot get down, without knowing I can also get up. But these are times that try us, as never before.

It is my habit, in the morning, to sit with my coffee and read the news on my phone. Lately, this practice is difficult for me because the news is so terrible. I fail to understand how the leadership of this country got put in the hands of a man so incapable of leading, that he constantly chooses the road with the most pain for the most people.

Now I know how he got there…..a minority of people elected him. But even that, a minority. He found the flaw in our system and exploited it, as he does every single thing that crosses his life.

This morning…..

COVID-19 is rampant in 14 states. My state is one of them, and although we have fallen to 5^th place nationally, we had the dishonor of being number 1 for awhile, with record numbers of new cases every day, and still in 5^th place, we had 7300 new cases Monday. Our president, and our governor, stated that we are doing a “good job”.

COVID-19 cases reached a record high of over 60,000 nationwide yesterday. So, what do they mean by “good job”? Is a “good job” measured in the deaths that will come from those 60,000? Is it measured in the pain it causes the victims and their families? Is it measured by the pain, the suffering of those who do not die, but live with this disease that causes far more damage than just the original illness it causes initially? Do we measure by the full ICU units, the full hospitals, the inability of those sick from other illnesses who can’t, or are afraid to, go to the hospital?

They push for the schools to open next month. Florida’s governor, one of the hottest spots for the virus, says yes….the schools will open in August. That puts fear into my heart. Fear for the children, fear for their families, fear for their teachers, the janitors, the cafeteria workers. All for political expediency. Not even a child is safe from these people, who are willing to sacrifice them on the altar of money, power and control.

My God, they are willing to sacrifice our children. OUR CHILDREN. What kind of a depraved human being does that?

What shocks me at least as much, if not more, is how many people nod their heads at this plan agreeing with it. There is no sense of decency here, of caring, of compassion, of doing the right thing. We are left on our own to struggle with this pandemic. We stay in our homes, we don’t go out except to doctor’s appointments, and the grocery store, and maybe the pharmacy. It’s hard to stay socially distant from everyone. We wear masks everywhere. But so many people drink the kool-aid, so many people disregard their own safety and ours, that the virus continues to overwhelm all the efforts we make to contain it, to bring it down. We miss our lives, but we ARE at last alive. For now.

It’s depressing.

This morning….

Some Republican senators aren’t attending the RN C in Jacksonville, due to the virus. They are smart, they want to live.

But they are so stupid. They had the chance to get rid of the toddler in the White House and refused to do it. So now, they choose not to back their fearless leader and go to the convention for their own safety. I wish so much that they would have considered the safety of the American people when they cast their votes against removing him from office, Did they not care about the people they represent?

So selfish, so self-centered, so careless, so heartless, so egoic, so entitled. So incapable of seeing where the refusal to remove him, and instead to back him up, would lead.

So depressing.

This morning…

160 people were shot over the holiday weekend in this nation, some of them children. I suppose that’s another “good job”.

Depressing, again.

I don’t need to go on. But reading the news this morning brought tears to my eyes. So so many people will suffer and many will die because of all these “good jobs.” Every day there are more, every day we are more isolated by our fear, and by the ineptness of those who are supposed to lead us, but clearly are not.

Now, I’ll go out onto my deck, looking for something to be joyful about. The butterflies that flit about my yard, and the geckos that race around the deck, and up and down the banyan tree. I’ll practice my meditation, and try to stay in the present moment because I am safe, for the time being, in that moment.

I hope all of you are too.