Healing Is Taking Place

I’m feeling much better these days. I’m on my third week of PT at home (or actually, Dan’s house). While my left leg is still quite weak, I am graduating from a walker to a cane, which will make it much easier for me to transition back to my house. My left thigh has atrophied so much, it’s visibly noticeable. But if I keep doing the exercises PT tells me to, it will strengthen. My pain levels have decreased so much. I make it through the night on one hydrocodone, and don’t take any others for the most part. Trying to stick with ibuprofen, and gabapentin which is a nerve pain med.

Yesterday we went over to my house to pick up a few things, but stopped on the way at our favorite Cuban restaurant, and sat outside at a picnic table, with a canopy. It was hot, but to me, that felt good. I’ve been inside in the air conditioning so much with my limited ability to get around. While we were there, my friends who are also my neighbors stopped at the restaurant and we visited for a short time. They are also the friends who are picking up my mail for me. It felt so normal, to be at a restaurant, visiting with good friends. It gave me a real lift.

I’m really trying to get my life back now. Work out these muscles, which, while it may hurt right after I do them, I usually feel better the next day. And stronger. My left knee still buckles once in a while when I walk, but it’s not the common occurrence it was a couple of weeks ago.

I can’t tell you how much I appreciate Dan. He does so much for his mother and brother, and takes good care of me while encouraging me daily to do my exercises, and do what I can for myself. knowing how independent I am. He has a much bigger heart than he wants people to know! I probably should have gone to a rehab center somewhere when I left the hospital, but I couldn’t bear the thought, and he just volunteered his home to me. I mean obviously, we lived together for most of the first 3 years of our relationship, at one of our homes or the other. This made it easy for us to adjust to my being here full time, but I’ve been here just over a month. I’m only now beginning to miss my life back at my house, and I know he certainly misses his alone time. But we have kind of gotten a rhythm going where I get up hours before him in the morning (always been an early riser) and he comes to bed hours after I’ve gone. And because my solitary hydrocodone is always taken when I go to bed, I am knocked out when he gets to bed, and he is usually fast asleep when I get up. So, we each have a few hours of alone time, which is working for us at the moment. I also appreciate the way he can make me laugh, and forget any issues I have with pain or getting around. He’s proven to be a blessing in my life for sure. I’m so glad that we resolved the issues we had last winter, before COVID, and before I became disabled. And we really did resolve them, not bury them.

When this is all over, I’m going to try to book us a few days away, at a BnB somewhere. It will still be off-season, so shouldn’t be too expensive. I think he would like to get away from his other charges (his mother and brother) for a few days, and just relax, and I’d like to do this to thank him for all he has done for me. It would also be good for me to get a few days away to get some perspective on this whole ordeal, and put it behind me.

I’m thinking that soon I can go out to hear my friends play at one of the restaurants around here. They all have outdoor seating, and the musicians play outdoors, so that will be a lot of fun for us, to get a slice of our regular life back. I just need to get proficient with the cane, and get my left leg strong enough not to buckle, and I think I can get around enough to walk from the car to the restaurant, which is about 100’. Looking so forward to it.

I hope all of you are well, and safe. Every day I watch the COVID numbers and they just make me so sad. So many of those deaths were avoidable, if we’d just had some leadership. I remember back when this started, and they were projecting numbers like we have now, and I kept thinking “It can’t get that bad, not in this country.” But sadly, it can, when the leader of this country doesn’t lead, and lies every chance he gets. But for the moment, I’ll let that go, and just hope all of you are safe, and remain that way.

Love and light to everyone.

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