What A Week

I had two different blogs started in the last couple of days. Then, I closed my laptop and unplugged it after checking the battery to make sure it was charged enough to make the 20 minute trip to my house. My sisters and I were planning a Google Meet session, but when I got to my house I couldn’t get the laptop to reboot, having shut itself down on the 20 minute ride. So, I had to do the meeting on my phone which I am loathe to do because it’s so hard to see on the phone. However, it went well, I could see fine.

Today, since the post I had on there that was incomplete was now lost forever, I started another, and in the middle of it, I got a warning that my computer had problems and it would have to reboot. After waiting about a half hour for that to happen, I just shut it off with the button, and then rebooted it myself about 3 or 4 times and finally! It’s working. (I hope!)

So the news this week is CRAZY! First the damn debate. Yikes, what a shit show. Though I thought Joe did a good job of trying to fend off 45, the creepiest of all when he went after Hunter. Geezus, Joe’s one remaining son. 45 is such a scumbag. Evil, really.

Then, and I guess chronologically it was before the debate, was his nomination for RBG’s seat, and the big party. Which, as it turns out, became what looks like a super spreader event and now 45 has the virus. I don’t wish him ill, but it IS poetic justice, is it not? And if he has it bad, which seems possible based on the info that the dr’s are not giving us, not answering questions about, well….karma is a bitch now, isn’t she? Even his dr is afraid to tell the truth – “was he on oxygen Friday?” No…until today when we find out he was for about an hour, and his dr said something like we wanted to keep the report upbeat….. Sounds a lot like “I didn’t want to cause a panic” by telling the people the truth.

Wow. Just WOW.

In the meantime, I’m going home from Dan’s tomorrow. I’d go today, but it’s raining, and I don’t want to have to unpack the car in the rain. Not to mention slipping on a wet step is what caused the fall that caused all this anyway. I am really kind of afraid to try to walk in it. In the meantime, we are not getting along very well, because he is sick of me being here, he wants his house back. I get it. I want to be home. But I keep wondering, did he think this would be a quick two-week deal and I’d be ok? I have to basically learn to walk again, and get my left leg strong enough to do so. It still causes me a lot of pain if I’m up for very long. I am concerned about what to do about taking a shower, since I have no hand holds in my tub/shower. He said he’d install them, but hasn’t. Not to mention I have no seat to sit on, and I have to climb over the side of the tub to get in…the logistics are ridiculous. I don’t feel comfortable with my set up at home, until he puts the grab bars in the shower. But I’ll figure it out. Maybe stand at the kitchen sink to wash my hair. Which will be hard, but doable. Whatever. I need to get home, and get some peace.

I am doing better. The pool has really helped, and maybe I can get back to it, if things mellow out between us. I’m guessing they will, but then again….I really don’t know, and we are not able to talk about anything that needs to be worked out. Dan doesn’t do those deep intimate conversations, so we don’t do them. He always gets defensive, and it’s hard to come to any conclusion except to leave it alone. He’s been so good to me since the surgery, but this week, he’s not able to keep that up. I’ve tried to explain where I’m at with the whole thing. I was so happy I can drive again, and go in a pool. Small steps, but important ones. I feel like he thought oh, good, she can drive, she’ll go home. And since I haven’t, because I didn’t feel ready, I’m a little (understandably, I think) fearful of falling again, or something. I’ve fallen 3 times since I got home from the hospital, and while it’s been 3 weeks since I last fell, I’m afraid anyway. I’m getting stronger, but not strong enough yet.

So, here I am whining. And wishing I could get out of here tonight.

I got my ballot in the mail yesterday, and I’m going to fill it out and take it to the voting station by my house and put it in one of the permanent drop boxes. FL has been doing mail in ballots for years, so I’m not really worried about it getting there anyway. But I like dropping it off at the collection box.

I hope you all are safe and well. Love and light to all.

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