This afternoon Dan’s brother went to the hospital by ambulance with COVID. Writing this will be therapy for me, a way to keep myself sane. I will be isolating, alone, for the next couple weeks.

Covid-19 isolation, Day One.

I don’t have it. At least, I don’t think I do. But his brother has it. He’s in the hospital. I saw him twice over the holidays, once on Christmas Eve day, another one on Christmas. I didn’t get close to him. I’m pretty sure I was never closer than 6’ at least, but didn’t have on a mask. Dan has been close to him every single day for weeks, at his house, which was completely ripped apart inside because of mold, helping him. So Dan is the main worry, and I don’t know what his Mom will do with him isolating. He can’t go near her and I know he’s stressed about it.

So…I’m going to try to find a test tomorrow. I’ve been taking my temp and it is not elevated. I have a headache. I think it’s stress. I came home from Dan’s after a wonderful holiday. It seemed weird here. I made sure all my laundry was done, and the kitchen cleaned up so I wouldn’t walk into a mess a few days later. But what happened was I walked around and around the house, and outside, and didn’t know what to do.

I walked outside, but it was too cold on the deck to sit out there and read. I gathered my drawing pencils, and pad, and watercolor pencils and sat at the table. I called my little sister. Dan called, I talked to him and called her back. He called me again, nothing important. He was looking for a password for his wifi. But then when I was talking to my older sister, he called back again, to tell me about his brother Tom. I think that’s when my head started pounding.

I made dinner, and sat down, then got up. I decided to take my temp.97.4. No fever. Headache is going away since I ate. I am very tired tonight. I didn’t sleep well last night. I’m about to lay down on the couch. Tomorrow I will call my doctor, and get her help in figuring out what to do, like where to get a test. If I don’t have it, then I can go up and help Dan with his mother. I have to cancel my PT appointments for this week and next. I’ll keep taking my temp. I’ll pay attention to how I feel, and try to notice any changes.

Am I scared? Shit yes. As scared as I’ve been about this, since it started. But then, I had my hip/leg/back problem, and so much pain I didn’t give it a whole lot of my mind. I’m so glad I can get around without Dan now, glad I can take care of my life myself, and not give him one more thing to worry about. I’m actually glad his brother is in the hospital because Dan won’t have to take care of him. And because his brother’s health is not good anyway, and he will be getting the best care possible. They couldn’t take him at the first 2 hospitals he wanted to go to, they were full of COVID patients.

It’s a shame what has happened in this country with this virus. A complete lack of leadership at a time when we needed it more than we ever have. I feel so bad for all the people laid off whose benefits are expiring while 45 plays golf and bitches about his wife not getting any magazine covers while she was first lady. Well, I can’t get wrapped up in that now. I have to stay in the present moment, and try to stay healthy. Which precludes allowing any anger to at people in power who don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves.

Love and light. Stay home, stay safe.