Change, The One True Constant in Life

I got word yesterday that my high school boyfriend is in the hospital and will probably transition within the next day or two. He’s had a myriad of very serious health issues. It made me so sad, because he was such a good guy. The person, from my old hometown in Iowa, who told me said he is fighting it, but his time now is measured in days.

He was such a good guy. He is a really good guitarist, and in high school played lead guitar in a popular local band. We were together 3 years, but then I went away to college, and he stayed in town, and I met my ex, and that was that. I always said, all he really wants to do is play the guitar. But, from what I can tell, he was a good family man, and had a happy life. We are friends on FB, but don’t ever talk except to wish each other a happy birthday. I am good with that. But not good with the pain and trauma he has undergone in the last few years. If you pray, then pray that his transition will be easy, and not painful.

So I got on the chat with my high school friends and gave them the bad news. They were, of course all friends of his as well. When I did contacted them, I found out the sister of one of my BFF’s, who I’ve known since I was 12, is also in the hospital with a serious bout of sepsis. My friend was worried, so I asked her if she wanted me to send reiki, which she did, so I sent it to her. Just for peace and also for her sister’s health.

It was a day full of sad news. I guess we are getting older, and losing people we’ve known our whole lives is going to become more frequent. While I accept that this is inevitable, I want to rail against it. I just have to know that no one ever really leaves us, and that they live on through the love we hold them in, in our hearts.

I’ve been motivated to finish up my will, living will, POA. I don’t want to leave my son a mess to deal with.

In other news, I have withdrawn from my writers group, Hypatia. I have just lost interest in the group, in writing in general, at least within the group. I will still write here. There are a few other reasons why I left that group. One of the main ones is that for close to 5 years, well 4 because of COVID, I hosted all the meetings at my house. Not once did anyone think that perhaps someone else should host it. While I’m pleased that they all liked to come here, and it was enjoyable for awhile, I just could never understand why anyone thought it was appropriate to just always come to my house, when they all have homes, and places that would accommodate the group once a month. No one asked if I wanted to do it agai

n, they just assumed. “See you at the next meeting” they’d say as they left. When COVID came we did the meetings on Zoom, but they were not the same. They lacked the social aspect. I know I allowed this to go on too long, til it was really grating at me. So I realize I had a part in being taken for granted by them. I had one of the members tell me that she “doesn’t do that, she and her husband don’t have people over.” I remember thinking “what makes you think that’s ok? To always go to someone else’s house and never invite anyone to your home?” This same friend asks me at least every week if she can come over and sit on my deck and talk. But never asks me to come to her house. Some of them said they could have it at their houses, but never offered when the time came.

Anyway, I don’t want to sit and cast aspersions on the members there. I just feel that I’ve drifted away, my interests have shifted and I want to spend more time on learning more about Reiki, about spiritual pursuits. In that vein a few newer friends and I have formed a spiritual book club like I had up north. We call ourselves the Soul Sisters. We’ve had two meetings so far. I’ve met new people who are much more aligned with my thinking, and support me in my endeavors in that vein. And we’ve already agreed that we will take turns hosting.

I feel relieved that I don’t have to cater to Hypatia any longer, which was how I’d begun to feel. I am hoping that perhaps I’ll get my writing mojo back a little bit.

So, things change, but they don’t. I am still friends with the women in Hypatia, but don’t feel the closeness I once did. My path and theirs have diverged, and I’m heading in a different direction, that’s all. I sent a group text to Hypatia, and only a few of them messaged me back. And those were most asking if I’d come to Sunday’s meeting. One of the other members is holding the meeting this month, since I didn’t offer. I had said in the text that I was taking the summer off, and would see them in the fall. Two of them responded with, “Will you come Sunday before you take the summer off?” Apparently didn’t read, or chose to ignore, my “see you in the fall” thing.

Whatever. I’m onto new things. I’m about to begin the Karuna Reiki training, another course which will teach me more about crystals, and a couple of other ones. I’m very excited about them all. I think they will add to my reiki practice.

Change is really the one constant in life, isn’t it? People come and go, interests change, we grow and evolve.

Love and light to all.

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