Hazy sunshine filters through the tree leaves

Leaving vague shadows on the lawn. 

Fills my head with light and dark, 

And illuminates memories slightly out of focus. 

Were they real? 

Or did I imagine something I wanted?  

Did I create the story in a wishful mind? 

Or live it fully breathing? 

There was something, wasn’t there? 

I’m not sure 

It’s as if I wrote the story,

and lived it, 

only to find out 

that it was all an illusion.

The sunlight brightens and fades, 

the memory of those days fades in and out, 

One moment in utter clarity, 

The next moment unsure that it ever happened. 

Wanting never made it so. 

Grieving never let it go

Move now to a new awareness, 

With eyes that don’t trick me

Into believing that the images in the hazy sunlight 

Are real.