Category Archives: Vulnerability

Daring to Fail Brilliantly

Posted on by learning to live like water

Free Mobile & Desktop Background | "Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly." - John F. Kennedy | Lettering by Pommel Lane

I thought this was a quote by Brene Brown.  Sounds just like her.  In remembrance of JFK today, I posted it. I was 12 when he was assassinated.  It was my moment of reckoning, it was the moment when I realized that world was not always going to be a beautiful friendly place.

There is no great success without great risk.  Whether it be for love, financial success, personal achievement….You have to be willing to get into the arena and be seen.  You can’t be afraid to fall, you have to learn how to get back up.

Therein lies the struggle.  When you are laying on the ground, with the taste of dirt in your mouth, you have to know how to push yourself up onto your elbows, wipe off your face, battle the forces that want you to stay down, and rise….your elbows, your knees, one knee, then both feet.

My first hero, JFK, and my latest one, Brene Brown.   Brilliant lights.

The Strength of Being Vulnerable, and the Sadness of Those Who Are Not

Posted on by learning to live like water

A friend (Megan, https://lovewillleadyouhome.wordpress.com/) wrote a blog today on vulnerability, asking was it a strength or a weakness.  It made me think of Brene Brown’s incredible TED talk on vulnerability. At the moment, it has 20,784,830 views.  Mine are maybe a dozen of those.  I sent the link to my friend, and watched it again myself.  Brene Brown is brilliant, funny and RIGHT on the mark.

If you haven’t seen this, please watch it.  It’s 20 minutes that can change your life, literally.  I dare anyone to watch it and not shed a tear.

I watched this, and I realized I tried to convince my ex, and S, that they were worthy.  Neither of them bought it.  Both are disconnected.  I tried, really hard, to get my ex to understand this, because he wanted a relationship with our son so badly.  I told him that our son needed to see his father go out on a limb for him, a limb he didn’t know wouldn’t break.  No guarantees.  But if he didn’t try, at least try, he gave up all hope. The fear of being vulnerable was not something he could overcome.  Maybe someday.

And S?  He wants to be free?  Of what?  Of any relationship that might cause him to feel vulnerable.  I believe this.

Neither of these men could take a risk, not knowing the outcome.  Both of them numbed their feelings, using assorted different methods.

Me?  I will offer my whole self.  My feeling is if you don’t put yourself out there, even not knowing the outcome, if you won’t take the risk, then you lose any chance for joy, for love, for creativity, for love and belonging. Let yourself be seen, who you are, without shame. Take a chance, and feel the miracle of connection. But you gotta love yourself first, and know who you are, so if it doesn’t work, you can just move on, with gratitude that you can feel as much as you feel.