I’m feeling a little anxious this morning.  I think the overall cause is the carpal tunnel surgery on Friday.  The only other surgery I’ve ever had was an emergency C-section when my son was delivered, and I was terrified of that. This surgery is by all accounts very simple, fast, and the recovery is not that bad.  Still, it scares me I guess, to be knocked out and cut into.

And then all the stuff that goes with it.  Things like how will I manage the weekend with only one hand?  Eating, washing my hair, drying off after a shower?  And preparing something to eat, let alone eating it with my left hand, I am so totally right handed, such a gimp with my left hand. Even dressing…How will I zip my shorts?

Naturally, next weekend is going to be a perfect beach weekend.  Grrrrr.  I will be sleeping off pain killers.

And I haven’t seen S in too long, We tried this weekend but our schedules were too crazy.  I hope I will see him before the surgery.

Of course work is stressful.  I’m not caught up from being on vacation, even though I worked a ton of OT last week.  I need to be caught up before Friday, so I don’t slide backward into that being way behind pit.

I did my meditation this morning about just being grateful, that usually undoes the anxiety.  So does writing about it.

And I am kind of discounting my friends who I know will be around to help me out and keep me company.  Very grateful for them.

All this being said, I will be so glad to have this problem corrected.  It is so painful.  I just wish I could get from here to done with it and skip the journey.