Couldn’t Be Much Happier

He likes my little house. That’s a big deal to me, because he was not happy at all that I sold our house in CT, and decided to move here. Change is hard for him, and we were so happy in that house, after the years of abuse with his father. We were ok in the rented condo I had for transitional space, but the house we had there was a dream come true for both of us. Now that he’s happy in CO, and has a life there, he is happy for me, and he really really likes this cute little house. Kept saying, “You did really good Mom. I get why you just had to buy it.” Because, he felt for the longest time that buying this house pushed me to sell the house in CT immediately. But fact was, that house was going on the market when it did, and he gets that now. You have to sell between March and November up there, because very few people buy a house in the winter.

It’s so funny, how it used to irritate me so much to find his stuff stuck in the couch, or spread on the coffee table, his shoes on the floor somewhere, or a light left on somewhere. And now…it just makes me smile. Like, oh, this is how it always was. It is so familiar, the way the things our children do are.

We can, and did, just sit in the living room, each in a recliner, and talked for hours yesterday. The TV was on for noise, as was the habit in our old life, but we just talked and talked about our new lives. I could tell he loved the familiarity of our furniture from the old house. You’d think there’d be not much to say, because we talk every day anyway, but there was. He was way too tired to do any sightseeing, and I think it was cool, that he just kind of wanted to stay here and reconnect.

My son loves to mix this EDM music, and he uploads it to SoundCloud and has like 5000 followers. He got a gig to play the Saturday after Easter at a club in Denver. He played there once before, and they liked him well enough to invite him back for Saturday night. He doesn’t get paid, but he gets his name out there. He’s meeting a lot of the artists that have made it really big. He’s really breaking into it. He says he spends most of his free time making new recordings. I love that he has a passion for it, that he follows his passion. He landed in the right place to follow this passion, since he says Denver is probably the hub in the world for this kind of music, and the wild shows that go with it.

We’re both looking forward to going over to the island tomorrow to see my sis and hubby. My sis has a big really nice apartment over the garage, overlooking her pool, that he and I always stayed at. I told him maybe we could share my mom’s old room, where I stay now, in the house. He looked so disappointed, lol. He said, “Idk, Mom. I really need my own room, you know I stay up way later than you…..” But I know it’s just because he loves that space, it’s like a really nice hotel suite. So I’ll tell my sis that he’s staying up there, so he can watch TV late, and go to bed late and sleep late, lol. Just going to tell him to come to the house to shower etc….so she doesn’t have to clean it all up for one night’s stay.

He also knows my sis is a great cook, and the food will be awesome, lol. And we’ll hang by the pool, and the hot tub and go to the beach. It will be fun. My sis just loves my son too. I know at one time her hubby was appalled that I wasn’t insisting he go to college, but he’s doing so well, I know my brother-in-law has changed his mind on that. And it’s hard not to like my kid. He’s funny, and kind, and smart. His priorities are good, and he’s set his own boundaries, that make it easy to be with him.

I’ve had a few moments of wishing he lived close to me, but I am trying not to get too attached to those, because that stuff will just ruin the time we have. Just going to enjoy having him here, and then begin to plan the next time I’ll see him. Probably in the summer sometime, I’ll head to CO for a few days. He has all kinds of places he wants to take me now.

Couldn’t be much happier this morning. Love and light all.

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The Breaking Point

I’m just wondering how many times of getting burned for pushing someone’s boundaries it takes before a person learns that no means no, that respecting a boundary is the first part of earning someone’s trust, and thus a cornerstone of the foundation of a relationship.  It’s sad….to undo your life because it’s so important to you to get what you want in the moment, and not see the bigger picture. It never was a game to me. I never intended to cause hurt, but if someone pushes me 10 times and I’m still standing, I will eventually push back, and they may get hurt.  It’s the risk you take living on the edge.  Everyone has a breaking point.

Love and light.

The Benefits of Fresh Air and Boundaries

It’s so awesome to sleep 8 hours, unbroken. I think the fresh cool air last night did it for me. There’s one woman who performs fairly regularly at open mic who plays a ukulele, and mostly sings what are kind of her own brand of folk songs. She spent a lot of time working with kids somewhere like Honduras or somewhere, and is just an old hippie like lots of us. Anyway, her last song is always this one called “Carry My Rain in a Bushel Basket”. She invites anyone who wants to to get up on the “stage” (which is not a real stage, just the back of the outdoor restaurant, under the trees) and sing with her. Most of the regulars do, including me. I can sing in a crowd, lol, just not alone. I tried to see if she was on youtube somewhere, because she has a CD of her songs, but there are too many artists with her same name, so I don’t know which is her. Anyway, I thought I’d just put down the chorus of the song here, the part we all sing with her. It’s positive and uplifting, kind of with that child-like innocence we all had at one time.

Carry my rain in a bushel basket
Let the sunshine through
Carry my rain in a bushel basket
Let the sun shine through.

Carry my rain in a bushel basket
Carry my rain in a bushel basket
Carry my rain in a bushel basket
Let the sun shine through!

At the end of the song there are always jokes about her holey, or holy, basket, and how much a bushel of rain weighs. Whatever, it’s a fun thing to do, to get up and sing as a small community. The first time I went up, I hid behind my good male friend, lol, because he’s a tall man. When it was over he kept saying, “You sang! I heard you sing!” LOL. He’s got a beautiful baritone voice and usually sings. Though he didn’t last night, I have a feeling he just came to see me, and hang out together, because I’d texted him earlier in the week. We are not romantic, mostly because he is utterly loyal to his wife who is in the final stages of Alzheimer’s, which is one of the things I admire about him so much. I think he just enjoys the female energy next to him for a few hours, as I enjoy his male energy. We are close on so many levels and we totally respect each others boundaries, which always leads to having a solid friendship.

Well, off to get things ready for my friend to come tonight. I am so excited, and so happy to have the temperatures get back into the 70’s. We will have so much fun. Life is good.

Love and light, all.