Posted on May 8, 2015 by learning to live like water
Sleep evades me.
Only longing finds me.
I turn on the prism light
That he gave me.
The soft warm glow
Reminds me of the way I feel in his arms
Curled like spoons, his hands cupping my breast.
Feeling his man parts pressing against me.
His breath on my neck.
Longing. Painful longing.
I don’t know where I stand with him.
Fear rises in both of us.
Again, he is afraid he will love me.
I am afraid he will not.
Tears fall and splash on the page.
God, could I not have it easy for once in my life??
Could I not just love someone who could love me back fearlessly, fiercely?
I’m so tired. Come sleep.
Put a blanket on my heart, cover my thoughts til the morning light.
Send me into the blissful emptiness of dreamless sleep.
I surrender. I cannot carry the burden of not knowing tonight.
Rescue me, sleep, from the endless nagging fear.
Be my friend. Love me, sleep, close my eyes, quiet my mind.
Sleep, sweet sleep, like the one I long for, where are you?
learningtolivelikewaterblog.com 
oh my God, you read my mind and speak my words… we are two of a kind my friend, I feel your poems, taste your tears… you are so talented. thank you for making me feel not so alone.
Michelle, I thought of you when I wrote this. I put it up and then took it down, it seemed to personal. I put it back up because I know there are people out there who can relate to this kind of pain. To love someone so much, and not to know how they feel in return. Things are always good for me for awhile, then they always revert back to this. Idk, I am trying to stay outside it for the moment.
I know exactly and I mean exactly what you mean. I’m glad you posted this, it really does help to know I’m not the only one. I wrote my “Expectations” after spending the night with him on Tuesday, some days I’m ok with all of it and others I am not… wish I could be strong enough to just walk away and get it over with but then other days, the way he acts and the things he says, make me want to stay and wait… so confusing… love to you, my sister, hope we both survive our loves! 😉