End of vacation, end of the weekend. I had a wonderful week off, but it makes me want to go back to work tomorrow even less. I will have about 1200 emails to read, countless calls to make, orders to process, and ship, and UGH. None of it stimulates my creativity at all. But it pays the bills for the time being.
On the other hand….4 days in the mountains, a day in Newport, 2 days just cleaning my house, doing laundry, reading, relaxing, an amazing graduation party for my best friend’s daughter who I love so dearly, and then today…spent at the beach with my two best friends, a hot summer day, spent talking about the great party last night, laughing, reading, sleeping, listening to a thousand happy kids splashing in the water, the not so big waves breaking on the shore. The islands in the distance, every single one of which I’ve overnighted in their harbors many times, were visible floating on the mist that rose from the sea. It was a perfect end to a perfect week.
I have less than 2 weeks til my carpal tunnel surgery. I can’t wait. I am so sick of only having basically one useful hand, not being able to write, or even open a jar or a bottle of water. And of it hurting all the time. My son will take me and bring me home from my surgery. One of my friends will come over and spend the afternoon with me. I am so blessed.
I remember a time, not so terribly long ago, when I first was happy, after I left my ex. And the feeling was so foreign to me, I hadn’t been happy in so many years. I remember my “aha” moment….OMG, This is what happy fees like. And now, happy is where I’m at most of the time.
When you’re traveling by sea, and reading a marine chart, every light on a buoy or a light house has a different light pattern, so you can identify it in the dark and know where you are. One pattern is called “occulting”. which means that the light flashes on for longer than it’s off.
That’s what my happiness is now. Occulting. It’s on more than it’s off.