Tonight is the lunar eclipse.  I’m not sure it will be visible here, there are some low clouds coming in tonight, but they may hold off til later.  I found an article about the eclipse, which included some information about the eclipses possible effect on relationships, and it’s astrological significance.  It actually, in the context of my life, seemed fairly accurate.

S was more knowledgeable about astrology than I.  I am an Aries….He used to accuse me of being pushy, “ramming” my points home, when I wanted something or believed it.  I think he was right.  I have been trying recently, to push not so much with my head but with my heart.  I can still be assertive…but I’m trying, mindfully, to be kinder about it, more loving.

The article states “Saturday’s full moon falls in the first degree of fire sign Aries, which is why this eclipse carries strong energies related to assertiveness, action and individualism.”  In the days leading up to this, I have been assertive, though not demanding, about what I want from a relationship.  And S, too, has been assertive about what he wants.  And the two are not the same.

This paragraph really struck me:

“This eclipse marks the ending of the lunar tetrad cycle along the Libra-Aries axis that began in April of last year. Each of these eclipses has challenged us in different ways to assert our own personal needs, while also recognizing the importance of caring for others. Since this cycle began, many of us have experienced intense personal and relational challenges and growth. Many of my relationships are barely recognizable compared to where they were when this cycle began last year. It is time to reflect upon these changes, transformations, births and deaths, and integrate how they shape your path for the future. With endings, come new beginnings.”

And yes, my relationship with S is barely recognizable  compared to last fall, when we saw each other once or twice a week.  When he asked me, on a drive, if I could “Just sit there and be beautiful.”  Lol.  Sweet memories, is all.  Everything changes, evolves….and who knows where any story will end up.

I had talked with S about watching the eclipse with me tonight, but this morning, it seems that that concept is pretty much off the table., since I have not heard from him since Friday, when he rather curtly dismissed me, because I stood my ground.  I know he was probably frustrated, and not understanding me, I have always relented in the past, and I have steadfastly told him that I love him.  I think the two ideas are incongruous to him.  I had been ignoring reality, imagining that it would be different than it was, before.  I realize the truth now, and have to make changes that I can live with, decisions that don’t cause me to blow up in anger, frustration, at myself, for believing what was not true, and burying my own emotions.  In the words of Iyanla Van Zant (paraphrased, I cannot find the original quote),”The things you bury, do not die.  They rot and fester and make you sick.”

I wish him well.  I send him love.  I wish him peace.  He will always have a very special place in my heart.

Another relationship that has transformed in the last 6 months is my relationship with my older sister, who is a Libra…the other side of this axis.  Contentious at best last spring as she dealt with really hard issues for the first time in her life, to a closeness now that I absolutely treasure.  I will see her in 3 weeks, when her daughter gets married, up in the incredibly beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia.  I cannot wait to spend 4 days with my family.  My younger sister is coming with her 4 adult children and I think possibly her grandchildren.  I can only hope.  It will be lovely.  Just lovely.

This is the link to the article, if you want to read the whole article.  There’s other good information in it on the eclipse as well.

http://themindunleashed.org/2015/09/5-facts-about-sundays-total-lunar-eclipse-including-how-it-could-affect-your-relationships.html