I had a good deal of peace when I came home last night. It was short-lived, but I suppose that what ended my peace needed to happen.
I got a huge dose of clarity late last night, and made some decisions and changes in my beliefs about someone that needed to be made. I am too angry this morning to write much about it, but I will say, that it has to do with this person not being able to own their story, and be accountable for their actions, and having to project onto me and blame me for a situation that was caused 100% by them. 1000%. I was a player in this game, I was played, played well. Again.
It won’t happen one more time.
That’s an episode of my life that is now, completely over. I see that anyone who escaped this person, no matter how hard it was, is lucky, because he’s not capable of anything but narcissistic using of people. He steals from people, to fill the holes in his soul. He won’t steal from me any more. And I hope from no one else, because he’s a thief. A cold-hearted self-absorbed thief in the night. A wolf in sheep’s clothing. Despicable human being.
Always sorry after the fact, after he behaves in ways that destroy people. As long as he feels good in the moment, the hell with the broader ramifications.
End of rant. Done, just done. Cut the cords, walk away. There are 50,000 ways to leave, just choose one. I’m gone.
(B, if you want or need to know the story message me.)
learningtolivelikewaterblog.com 
I’m sorry. I know how hard this lesson is for us to learn. Especially when someone uses our loving kind heart against us. Some people can’t be saved or helped, especially really old fools lol. I’m thinking of you and I’m here for you. Sending you love n support. Hugs xo!
Thanks Emma. I am always amazed at the depths of depravity some people can achieve. And the inability to accept the consequences of their own actions. But I held onto my heart this time….Thankfully. Now to get rid of this anger, I guess that is my aim for today. xo
I am also here for you. All of these feelings that you write about, I have experienced for years… frustration cause of lack of accountability in others, etc. It really is tough, going through that. Hugs. 💜
Yes I have also, with my pathological abusive ex husband. I am practiced, shall we say, on climbing back out of the home he tried to push me into. He may have pushed me hard. I may have fallen but I rise strong. Thank you so much.
I believe in your strength, friend. I do not believe anything can keep you down in a hole, your soul is indeed too strong for that. 💜
amazing, just amazing, that anyone can be such a jerk, him of course, not you! Makes me wonder what is wrong with this world that those of us who love and keep loving in spirt of the underserving nature of the men we love have to keep hurting and keep being used… while the men just waltz away unscathed, ready to pounce on another unsuspecting, kind hearted woman… makes me sick…
I seem to be the scapegoat of choice. So I’m removing that option. My anger at the attempt to place blame anywhere besides his own shoulders is palpable.
you are so right my friend, so right, much love to you…