Trying to Deal with My Health and Emotions

emotional healthI hope I get some information on this stomach issue today. I am concerned, it has gone on way too long. It’s better, because I’m taking the prescription I was given, but I can tell it’s still there. I hope it’s just some kind of virus or bacterial infection.  I had hoped it was just an intolerance to a medication for diabetes, but I’ve been off of that for  days now, and the issue remains.

I am a firm believer that all illness has an emotional component, which in many cases is causal. I feel like the major emotional cause is all the stress from the S relationship over the last year. So much uncertainty, fear, and angst, and rejection, and grief. So much having to assimilate the deception on such a grand scale, having to swallow his lies to her about me, and live with them because he can’t step up to the plate and own what he did. I need to separate myself completely, and the fact that there is no contact at the moment is a good thing for me, it’s a good start. It gives me breathing space, to accept and move away from it.  It’s not enough though. Because I know that we still communicate energetically, whether or not I want it to happen.

I have not figured out how to stop loving someone I love, and so I have not stopped with him. But I can’t continue to give to him, even energetically. It’s obviously draining me. I am covering my fear, and rejection, disappointment and grief at his inability to stand up and be counted.  Just to own his own emotions and actions.

We hold our emotions in our solar plexus, and our sexuality and creativity in our sacral chakra. I have been holding all this pain in both of those places for so long now. I need to figure out how to completely let go of what was done to me, and to stop worrying about him as well. I know this in my head, and have begun setting my life up to do this, with the selling of my house and moving to Florida, but emotionally I have not let go. I can’t ignore the connection we have, it’s there, and ignoring it is false also. But I don’t know how to deal with it either. I don’t know how to not feel what I feel from him, but somehow I need to let that go, while being cognizant of it. It does no good to pretend it’s not there. It also is making me sick to focus in on it, to allow it to have such a prominent place in my psyche.

I have a friend who does some incredible energetic healing. I think I will call him, and maybe see him. I don’t know anyone else who can help me with this, at the level I am dealing with it. I definitely need some help with this, if I’m going to get through it whole. Even the gong baths are not enough to set me free.

So working out stuff this morning. A new day, a new week, and I need to be more proactive regarding my health and emotional well-being.

Love and light, all….

5 responses to “Trying to Deal with My Health and Emotions

  1. It is tough, for sure. We can only do as much as we can do. And I think you are trying your very best, truly. That said, it can never hurt to try new and different ways to heal. I think talking to that person you mentioned might be helpful. Even if it wouldn’t be, it could be, indirectly, by giving you new strength by feeling that; yes, I did something, I tried something. Being proactive as you say. That is pretty empowering all by itself. And also quite impressive, considering the extreme, and “double” pain that has been inflicted on us, first by someone hurting us to our core, and then having them drive the knife deeper into our heart when they deny ever having done wrong… then they actually hurt us even MORE by not letting us be in peace so that we can heal….oh no, they have to prod and poke at our wounds, too, by cryptic messages etc…

    Think of it as; It is amazing that you even have the strength to try and be proactive Go, you!! 💜💕💖

    • And by apologizing and then betraying again and again. I’m chatting with my gong player friend who does different types of energy healing, and used to play with the guy I’d like to see. But she said he’s very difficult to get in to see, he’s scheduled way out there. No wonder.

      • I hope you get to see him, could be interesting! Plus: Great blog posts to follow after such an experience, I’m sure. It would be almost like a documentary on if you felt that seeing such a person had any healing effects.. 🙂

        • Oh I’ve seen him before, and I used to go to group meditation he ran every week. He definitely has some very unique abilities. I know he could help me if I could get to see him but he is booking at least 2 months out. It’s not really explainable, what he does. He calls it his own type of reiki. It’s not reiki though. I just know most everyone who has gone to see him for physical or emotional stuff comes away slightly changed. I should write s blog about him.

  2. Sorry to hear you’re still not feeling right. I agree that most physical pain has its roots in emotional suffering.

    What helped me immensely was self-hypnosis sessions – Michael Sealey has one on Letting Go – pop in your headphones and relax for an hour:

    I think seeing an emotional healer would be an incredible experience – hopefully if you can speak to him on the phone and explain what’s happening with you, he may be able to fit you in (or perhaps has a cancellation list?).

    Thinking of you and sending lots of love and healing thoughts. ❤ x

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