I’m remembering….

How you’d always want me around
When I was preoccupied elsewhere.

Oh you were so sly,
So convincing.

I was dancing to the strumming
Of your inner guitar
I was hopping to the gate
With the key to let you in.

My, how you teased me,
How you’d spin me around,
Whirling, and make me
Come up delightfully dizzy.
Asking for more.

I didn’t want what it was you were offering.
It took me a long time to find out what it was.

I wanted something different,
You just wanted me to keep wanting you.

And I did.

For a long long time.

Til I realized I was dancing alone.
That only you knew the music,
And you weren’t sharing.

Keeping me stuck as is, as was,
Where was, how was

Ahhhh still, you made me laugh,
That was always worth something.

You made me feel like a woman,
That too….was always worth something.

I loved making you feel like a man.
“I’ll make you glad you’re a man”
Was what I used to tell you.

I loved opening Pandora’s Box,
And seeing what flew out of it between us.

Still, though, my feet got tired
Running in the circles of your endless delusions.
And obsessions
And needs……

Inertia and gravity held me in place
at your disposal
At your service.
Holding you steadily in my heart.

Until that state,the inertia, was changed
By an external force.
I didn’t know what the force was.
You did, but you weren’t telling.

I know now…….

It changed forever.
At that moment.
Except….love, love stays.

No one can go back.
The past can’t be undone.
Just tell me, now, in this moment

Was it the best you could do then?
Is it the best you could do now?

Or is there some greater force,
An external force,
That will change things forever
For you too?

Inertia
At the mercy,
But no longer.