Quitting

I quit

My heart aches

In places I didn’t know still existed.

Soothing words and touch,

borne of love that wraps around me,

take the edges off.

 

 

I have to go back,

One final time.

To clean up a mess

Not of my own making.

 

 

He used to say

β€œI quit. I just quit.”

And he did, a little more every day.

 

 

This will be the last time

I will fix the mess he makes.

The last time I will clean broken dishes off the floor

And the food he threw off the counters

And trash off the table.

 

 

Finally, I will be able to quit.

 

By Deborah E. Dayen

Picture from Google Images

 

15 responses to “Quitting

  1. *shrugs* It is a mysterious thing how things/people carrying toxicity in their fingertips tend to lure those to help clean up the mess in their lives. I wish you well, Deb and a peaceful journey during this time.

    • It’s a metaphor. My ex used to throw shit all over when he raged, breaking dishes, throwing food, heaping trash on the floor. He left it for me to clean up, which I did, just to end the war. This will be the last time that I have to clean up his mess. Dan is going with me, to help me.

      • Yes I am. And he still owes me a lot of $. If I don’t go and deal with it I could lose $1000’s. I need to have a good inventory and make sure my interests are protected. My sister-in-law can’t possibly do it. And it will cost me big bucks if I don’t. I have to know what Is there because I have a judgment lien. Told you it’s convoluted. But it’s what had to be done.

      • #4 is doing well…knock on wood. I’m just having to communicate with pig-shit to try to deal with that warrant. UGH. But if #4 will stay on the path he’s on, it’s worth it….and no…he’s only visiting me in my dreams. (Pig-shit that is.)
        When you heading up North?

      • In YOUR dreams? Or in pig-shit 2’s, lol? Idk when I’m going. The hospital has thrown a monkey in the wrench. I’m waiting for my Atty to get some answers. Could never be simple. Glad #4 is actually doing well.

  2. Quitting is an interesting concept. He decided to quit living when what he should have done is quit fighting the battles that he couldn’t win. Somebody, please tell him, he can’t lose if he doesn’t fight.

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