Resting. Sitting back and catching my breath. It’s been a full, but rather introspective, few days. Quiet, as thankfully, I have not heard anything from the dark side. His books were delivered to him today, I just tracked them. I guess that’s it. After a year, return the books, and be satisfied with an ugly ending.
I am…satisfied with it. I see now, really, that’s the only way it would end with him. I mean, he loves the darkness. It still kind of blows my mind that he consciously chooses that. I’m grateful that it wasn’t uglier. I’ve never known anyone who chose darkness and admitted it.
My ex lived in fear of the darkness, but in the end, it finally took him. He didn’t choose darkness, he just couldn’t figure out how to go to the light. And now, he can’t understand what happened to his life, and blames everyone and everything except himself. Or did….I don’t know if that’s still true. He may have come to terms with the life he chose, now that he’s fallen about as far as he could go. It gives me no happiness, no pleasure, to see him like this, but it’s his journey, I chose differently. I have considered calling him, but then I would be sticking my nose in his business. He knows he can call me, and has done so in the past.
S wanted to know why I thought I was superior because I chose the light. Superior? Hardly….But I will say that the light is far superior to the dark. I am not, just because I chose it. But what I chose? A single candle can obliterate the darkness. All of our personal power is in the light, in love. There is none in darkness and fear.
I know this from personal experience, that the universe works through love, that it brings you what you seek in the shortest way possible, once you surrender to it. Sometimes it comes from exactly the opposite direction you thought it would.
This is what my book is about. How I discovered the power of unconditional love in my darkest hours. My biggest fault, I would guess, is that I try to illuminate the path for everyone, and not everyone is open to it. We each have our own path to walk, and the thing is, even if you choose the darkness….at some time you will be unable to avoid the light. It will surround you, and saturate you, and you will finally have peace.