I love intimate communication.  The kind of conversations you have where you learn about the other persons soul, where there is no judgement, only give and take, and connections are made.

I have these conversations with my friends, often.  It requires the willingness to be vulnerable, to put yourself out there, to show up and be seen, but it also creates connection that is unbreakable.  I think when a relationship ends, for me, it is the loss of communication that I miss the most.  When a friend moves away, I miss the late night conversations the most.  The talks on the deck late into the night over a glass of wine, or a cigarette.  (I don’t smoke, but some of my friends do, or did.)

I do a lot of texting during the day, because at work, my office is a big open space, and most everyone can hear a phone conversation.  Texting is quiet, and something you can do when you have a minute, a conversation can go on for a long time, it doesn’t require that you stop an important task at work to continue the conversation.

I just don’t like when texting takes over for real conversation all the time.  It is nice to hear the other person’s voice, to add the additional information that audio gives you.  The way you can tell if the person on the other end of the line is pensive, or happy, or sad.  If they are being glib or earnest.  I like that I text with Jim but it doesn’t take over, we still talk by phone.  Even A, when we get into a sweet intimate conversation talking about our relationship, past and present, will call me.  I have had what I thought were real, truthful, intimate conversations via text, but found out later, they were just a diversion.  So, I don’t trust texting now, for any personal, intimate conversation.

Communication, real, intimate, truthful, sweet conversation is just such a blessing.

Writing…is also a great way to communicate.  I am generally more eloquent with the written word, lol.  I can look at what I write, and review it, and see if it’s exactly what I meant.  I have been known to send huge long texts…..the kind that are received on the other end as 10 texts, lol. Just because it’s my comfort zone at times, and at times when what I have to say I can’t say, verbally, to the other party, for whatever reason.  Because I’m not somewhere where I can talk, but it needs to be said. Because I’m too emotional to be able to spit it all out verbally.

Tonight when I go to dinner with Jim, I’m going to work at building an open and easy communication, because while he so far has been willing to show up and put himself out there, I can see he’s still not comfortable with it.  And me, I suppose I am more willing, but it’s my nature, first of all, to say, “This is me, I will be this person today, tonight and tomorrow….”  But also, I have been working for years now, to connect with myself and know who I am.

And still, I learn more every day. Close, intimate conversations with others where you listen, speak, and exchange ideas is how we learn about ourselves.  We see what is reflected back to us, we see where we want to go, and where we don’t.

Communication, really, is how we connect, if we are real and honest and willing.