I had a bad week this past week.  Stress over surgery, stress over work, stress over missing more work, over the insurance paying for the surgery…

Man, I did an absolutely awesome job of attracting negative energy to myself. Geezus.

Since I got home yesterday, I have watched TED talks, and documentaries, all of a spiritual nature.  Although all different, they all end up with the same message….all we really need is love.  To love ourselves, especially.  And to be grateful.  To believe that the universe conspires to make our thoughts become things.

Which is where I have fallen down, of late.

When I was going through that long, contentious divorce, and I was broke, and  I had an 18  yr old son with a broken ankle from a bad car accident (2 cars, totaled), lots of hospital bills, no longer got child support, no assistance from his father with the broken ankle bills, and every asset my ex and I had accumulated in our 32  year marriage was in his name, every single one, and he wasn’t sharing….Every day I would write a list of what I was grateful for.  And I would state unequivocally that I knew that my abundance would come to me, that the universe was working on getting it to me in the most efficient way possible, and that I knew  beyond a shadow of a doubt that it just had not manifested yet.

And every time I was really dead broke, some money came from somewhere, from unexpected places, at times utterly blowing my mind.

Tonight, I watched “The Secret”.  I have the book, I get the newsletter but never watched the movie.  It was such a good refresher course.  Thoughts do become things, and I know it, for God’s sake I am living proof.  I own my home, and my son is with me and has turned out to be a great young man, because simply I dreamed about it, and believed it would happen.  I would add, that I never wished ill upon my ex either, because the universe only hears the ill will that you are thinking about, and that would attract it to me.  He, on the other hand, obsessed about ruining me, ruining my relationship with my son.  It was all he thought about for 4 years.  And now…he has ruined himself, he has no relationship with our son.  What he thought about was what he got.

But this last week….I was worry worry worry.  I was sure everything bad that could happen would happen. And it did.  Going to the surgery center yesterday, I was terrified.  My blood pressure, normally about 115/65 was 144/85 or something.  They left me alone for about 10 or 15 minutes as they prepped the OR.  I closed my eyes and forced myself into a deep meditation.  As I calmed, I reassured myself it would all go fine.  I did a little self-reiki.

When they came in to get me, the ball of emotion in my solar plexus was gone, and since then, I have been doing the work, reminding myself over and over again, about love and gratitude, and energy work, and how thoughts become things.

Starting to feel myself again, thankfully.   Remembering to read and think and type the things about which I have passion, which bring me joy.  If you feel good, you will attract good to you. I don’t think the universe can do anything but that.  The law of attraction is a physical law of the universe, applying to everything in it.  Thoughts too.

In the words of Mike Dooley, (www.tut.com, daily Notes from the Universe) “Thoughts become things.  So think the good ones.”