School’s Out (I Hope)

lessons

I was in bed asleep by 9 PM last night, and slept til 6 this morning. I don’t know the last time I’ve done that. It was kind of cool, I could really sense my mom’s presence with me. We never lived close to each other, and I felt like now she’s just with me. I went to sleep easily, slept well. I remembered that my whole life, whenever I would visit her, and we were sleeping in the same house, I always slept well, like Mom’s here, I’m safe. I felt that last night very intensely.

I have a relaxing day planned today. Just some minor housework, maybe see if a friend will take a walk with me. I had tentative plans to meet a friend later this afternoon for a drink. I wasn’t sure I’d be feeling like it but I think it would be nice. I am going to call both my sisters today. We only texted yesterday, I think we all had to deal with it in our own way yesterday, today I crave their voices.

It’s nice to have one blog again. I’m feeling so much more put back together. I think I am more accountable now, too. I learned a lot of lessons about being more sensitive about what I write, and jumping to conclusions about people. Also, about being true to myself, and not allowing myself to do things that don’t feel comfortable. I thought I had learned that lesson, but you know, there is always another layer. I actually have trashed one post I put up on the other blog, because the facts I finally got were so opposite from the conclusion I’d drawn.

Lessons learned. Nothing is a waste of time, if we learn a lesson from it. But like I said awhile ago, I’d sure like to quit school for the time being. I just want to go to the beach and veg, listen to the waves, and rest. Too bad it’s not summer, lol. The last few months were just too intense, and now with Mom’s passing, I hope it marks the ending of that intense period of soulful lessons. I can only hope, lol. My ability to cope with any more is, I am pretty sure, exceeded as it is.

Here’s to hoping that 2016 came in in a whirlwind, to wrap up the unfinished business of 2015 quickly, and that a new phase is underway. Looking forward to Florida….

5 responses to “School’s Out (I Hope)

  1. Lovely saying, but the last line is a bit ambiguous. We don’t ever forget loved ones who “leave us.” When my good friend was dying from a brain tumor, I would only talk about him “leaving.” It doesn’t feel so final that way.
    Where in Florida are you going?

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