I don’t have a whole lot to say this morning. It’s a clear, very cold day here in New England. I guess we may get our first appreciable snow on Saturday, which means at least I don’t have to drive in it. We had kind of hoped that we’d get a pass on snow this winter, but that’s probably pretty unrealistic, lol.
Not much on my mind today, but here I am writing about it, lol. Acceptance…that was my meditation, accepting what is. I’m learning, and practicing staying in the moment, trying not to have expectations about what is or isn’t going to happen in my life, like when I move to Florida. All I know is I will not have to go to work every day, lol. And be able to go to the beach whenever the mood hits me, which at the moment seems like every day.
Before my mom had her stroke, she was working on writing, at her 3 daughters request, an autobiography of her nearly 100 years on this earth. She was an English teacher, she loved to write. She was 92, and going to the library to do research, to make notes etc. My sister found her work on it, and we talked briefly about completing it when I move down there, like a joint effort. Mom has many many pictures, and many of them have the names of the people written on the back. I think it might be a fun project for my older sis and I to do together.
My son is going to Colorado today. I have encouraged him to go visit. He intends to move there when I move to Florida. I told him he really ought to check it out before he moves there, to see if he even likes it. There is a girl there, lol….that he really likes. So he’s making a quick 3 day trip.
He works as an assistant manager of a national store chain. Yesterday they chose him to participate in a store manager training program, which only a few of the assistants are offered. It’s a 5 month program, and when it’s done, and a store becomes available, he will get it. I’m so proud of him, he’s only been on this job for 5 months. But he is good at it, he understands business and team work, just instinctively. So I am the proud mama this morning. Considering his difficult childhood, God, I am so blessed he is such a great kid.
So all is well in my land today. Quiet, moving forward. Happy. Guess I had a little more to write about than I thought, lol.
learningtolivelikewaterblog.com 
I guess acceptance comes a few steps after forgiveness. To me, forgiveness is the elusive one. My mama had a journal that she had been writing for years. I was able to read a few pages of it before she died, and in all her eighty years worth of memories, I wasn’t on a single page. It was all about my other siblings.
Pride in one of your children is euphoric, isn’t it? Especially, as you say…if they came out on top after a difficult childhood.
I hope you will finish your mamas’ autobiography. It will be a window to her life and soul for generations to come and will be invaluable (as you know.) It was so smart of her to write the names on the back of pictures. Memories fade over time and pictures sometimes just become nameless faces. It would be a lovely tribute not only to your mama but to your son in the future.
Thanks laurel. Forgiveness comes in its own time. It helps to have people in your life who set the example of how to do it. I was lucky. Unlucky about many things but lucky in having an example set for me to work through stuff. Just remember that it was your mom who was damaged, not you. Xo
I know…and I still, STILL find myself defending her…and that fucking LOSER. I guess that’s what we do. I’m beginning to think the only friends I have are the wonderful people who support me on my blog…but you know…that’s pretty valuable!
Hugs.
I think honestly, I had to first come to indifference with my ex. And then acceptance of who he was, that he just didn’t have the tools to deal with things. Which brought me to forgiveness. If he’d given me an incurable disease…. Idk how long that process would have taken. But once it did, and I was able to let go of all the shit he did and tried to go to me, I had my life back. It was very freeing. Big hugs to you. I hope you find your way back. Xo
I’ll never be indifferent toward him…there’s too much hate….but now that he has started focusing his abuse on the two children who support me….I want to set him on fire.
Geezus. He is persistent. What an idiot. Hopefully it will all come back to him some day.
He’s not an idiot…he is the epitome of a narcissist sociopath…and he is further enabled by his WTC who is of the same genus. I think they have it in mind to completely destroy everything, residual or current, that has to do with me.
My ex did that for awhile but then his intentions started coming back to him, not me. Lol. So I think he stopped. He lost every thing. Now he kind of leaves me alone. He’s a hermit. Lol
Ah… to dream! The sad truth is, my children will take his abuse because they don’t want to lose their daddy 😦
My son was terrified of crossing his father, so I get that. I used to just tell him that when he got sick of it, he knew where to come. Eventually he did, I was lucky.
They used to run to me when they were younger but they’re all grown now and Loser brutalizes them from a distance…via text and email and phone calls. What a dick. Karma o Karma…where art thou? LOL
Maybe he’ll get a huge giant karmic payback, all at once… I mean really, my ex manifested what he dreamed of happening to me. So maybe one day it will just fall in his head and knock him unconscious. You can only hope.
Yikes! I guess I had better watch what I wish would happen to him! It would be my luck for it to happen to me…it would just fit 😦
Well I do believe we get what we think about. Did you read Megan’s blog today? While my ex plotted to destroy me all I thought about was having a beautiful home and my son in it with me. It took awhile but it happened.
I don’t know if I follow her. I have read all the new posts for today. What does she post under?
The only thing I sometimes think about is “wouldn’t it be a hoot if I actually wrote a book?” That’s the one thing Loser always wanted to do. Problem is….I don’t know how to write 😦
Her blog is Finding My. Way Home. She commented on this post right underneath you, so you can get her link there. 😊
Thanks. I’ll check it out! 🙂
Your son is a credit to you.
Agree with Laurel, you should definitely work on finishing your mother’s autobiography. Real photographs are a treasure in these days of smartphones and tech too….
Yes I’d really like to. She had a pretty amazing life. Thanks…