Wednesday

God, I was so angry for a good part of the day over him showing her my writing.  Talk about a delayed reaction. I guess if I tried to react all at once from the BS that came from both sides of that equation all at once, I’d be pulling my hair out.   I wrote a scathing blog and saved it in draft.  Right now, I don’t think I’ll publish it, because…to what end?  They’re both low-life fuck-ups, and I just want them out of my life.  I vented it, it’s all I needed to do. I just wish stuff like this would stop popping up.  I will be so glad to be leaving these two in the cold and dark.

I don’t even know if they’re together.   Don’t care.  They are both blocked, on the phone, on email, on FB, and will remain that way.  I can’t stop him from leaving me a voice mail, but I don’t have to listen to it, or respond.  So far he hasn’t tried.

I’m meeting Alec for lunch tomorrow.  He is a retired CPA who ran his own practice with 25 employees and did a lot of forensic accounting for family court.  He called me tonight, to say hi, and to tell me he’d looked up my divorce records, he hoped I didn’t mind.  He said, “Boy you REALLY went through a lot.  You really did .”  I said, “yes, I always take the cake for the ugliest divorce among anyone I know who’s been through it.”  He hemmed and hawed a moment, and said, “Yeah, you’re probably right.”  He knows my atty, has worked with her a lot and likes her.

It did kind of creep me out that he looked it up.  I guess he found out I told him the truth.  I hadn’t expected to hear from him tonight.  But it was nice, to have someone just want to hear my voice.  And acknowledge what I went through.  I suppose, being the left-brained analytical type, that he wanted to see if I was just sour grapes or real.  He found out I was real.  He found out I can stand in my story.  He found out just how hard I got knocked down, and sees that I got back up.

And he doesn’t know about Scott, yet.  Not sure I’ll tell him.

I don’t feel a really close connection though. I’m so frigging right-brained.  I’m afraid he’s gonna be like Addison and fall crazy in love.  I hope not.  I just want a friend.  No romantic entanglements.

I took my son out to eat tonight.  Vietnamese.  He loves Pho, the soup.  It’s a really nice place, one of our favorites.  It was good to catch up with him.

I’m falling asleep.  I better wrap it up and go to bed.

Love and light.

7 responses to “Wednesday

  1. Uhhhhhhhmmmm…..the looking up your divorce records? One thing to do it…another entirely to actually *tell* you he did it..!!! Red flag alert…. He’s probably already sussed your Facebook, your credit status and lord only knows what else, all before you meet for coffee…. Other than that, he sounds okay 😀

    Glad you’re over the anger. That you acknowledged it and gave it release. Onwards dear friend ❤ x x x

    • Yes it creeped me out at first. Then I remembered that we talked a great deal about it, because he had done so much work (forensic accounting, to determine the values of things) for family court, and my divorce was unusual in that it went to Supreme Court. I think he had an interest in why it did, knowing that you can’t just go there, you have to submit a long and lengthy and expensive appeal (my ex did) and they have to accept it. It’s just something he has interest in. I don’t think he’s on FB. He has only used his land line to call me, so may not even have a cell phone. I’ll find out today.

      Yes, glad I got over the anger too. It did me good to write it. I almost sent it to you just to read, lol, but thought, no one needs to have this angry energy today. Writing it out seemed to do the trick. I wrote it and revised it a few times. I almost put it up on LLW2, but if I was going to publish it, I’d want him to read it. Better that I just keep him out of my life, and don’t strengthen that connection which doesn’t go away anyway, lol. Let it die back down to that annoying hum like the ringing in my ears.

      Yes, Onward. xo

  2. Not to be a boring party pooper, but I would sooooo freak out, if someone told me they had checked up something on my background, before even meeting me… perhaps after too, but especially before. I am sorry but that just creeps me out a loooot!! Lol I hope I am wrong and that it was an innocent thing… anyway, take care and I hope the date is fun. Just be a bit careful, I am sure you will be, just saying. Hugs!

    • I really think it was because my divorce was very unusual, it wrote case law in my state, it made law journals all over the country. They actually used my divorce in teaching contract law at Yale University. Since he used to do work in the field and we talked extensively about it, I just think he was interested in the subject, and he knows my atty. I’ll keep my eyes open but I don’t think I need to be alarmed. Yet. lol.

  3. I’m not sure that would sit right with me. True, it’s public record but that kind of thing should (if ever) happen later. I never once even thought about looking up Losers’ divorce records…..come to think of it….maybe I should have. LOL

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