God, I was so angry for a good part of the day over him showing her my writing. Talk about a delayed reaction. I guess if I tried to react all at once from the BS that came from both sides of that equation all at once, I’d be pulling my hair out. I wrote a scathing blog and saved it in draft. Right now, I don’t think I’ll publish it, because…to what end? They’re both low-life fuck-ups, and I just want them out of my life. I vented it, it’s all I needed to do. I just wish stuff like this would stop popping up. I will be so glad to be leaving these two in the cold and dark.
I don’t even know if they’re together. Don’t care. They are both blocked, on the phone, on email, on FB, and will remain that way. I can’t stop him from leaving me a voice mail, but I don’t have to listen to it, or respond. So far he hasn’t tried.
I’m meeting Alec for lunch tomorrow. He is a retired CPA who ran his own practice with 25 employees and did a lot of forensic accounting for family court. He called me tonight, to say hi, and to tell me he’d looked up my divorce records, he hoped I didn’t mind. He said, “Boy you REALLY went through a lot. You really did .” I said, “yes, I always take the cake for the ugliest divorce among anyone I know who’s been through it.” He hemmed and hawed a moment, and said, “Yeah, you’re probably right.” He knows my atty, has worked with her a lot and likes her.
It did kind of creep me out that he looked it up. I guess he found out I told him the truth. I hadn’t expected to hear from him tonight. But it was nice, to have someone just want to hear my voice. And acknowledge what I went through. I suppose, being the left-brained analytical type, that he wanted to see if I was just sour grapes or real. He found out I was real. He found out I can stand in my story. He found out just how hard I got knocked down, and sees that I got back up.
And he doesn’t know about Scott, yet. Not sure I’ll tell him.
I don’t feel a really close connection though. I’m so frigging right-brained. I’m afraid he’s gonna be like Addison and fall crazy in love. I hope not. I just want a friend. No romantic entanglements.
I took my son out to eat tonight. Vietnamese. He loves Pho, the soup. It’s a really nice place, one of our favorites. It was good to catch up with him.
I’m falling asleep. I better wrap it up and go to bed.
Love and light.