I seriously can’t believe how tired I am tonight. I slept ok last night, but tonight I can’t keep my eyes open. It’s only 8 pm. My day wasn’t particularly busy. Went shopping with a friend at Costco, went to cousin’s house to give her reiki. Looked for plane fares to VA for my mother’s memorial for my son and I. It’s a pain because he can only stay overnight, and I’ll stay a couple days longer. Plus we’re not staying over on a Saturday night which increases the plane fares by about 50%.
I sat outside on the deck with the computer looking up the fares on Kayak, Expedia, JustFly….. First time this year I’ve been able to do sit out there. Had some idle memories of sitting out there with S, nice memories, talking, gabbing, listening to his outlandish stories. I wish they had just stayed down below the surface where they belong. It will be good to get to Florida, where that won’t happen. At least, not quite so vividly, not quite so closely. I will be out on the deck there, but a different deck, different furniture, different scenery, different smells. Hopefully nothing to trigger me there, into a memory best left buried.
Whenever we would fight, before she was back, or before I knew about her, anyway, he would always say, “I wish we could just sit on your deck and talk. Things were always different when we could do that.” I wish I didn’t remember that. Because things will never be remedied by an afternoon or evening on the deck again. And truth be told, they weren’t then. Just a bandaid on a huge gaping wound caused by lies, deceit, and betrayal on such a grand scale. Oh how I wanted to believe.
Anyway, it was the first time I’ve used Justfly.com. And the last probably. I kept asking for flights into Dulles in DC. It kept giving me flights into Washington National, on the other side of DC. Exit, Exit.
I was texting my son, who was working, madly, trying to figure out the logistics. Nothing was resolved, and I ended up with a massive headache.
So why I’m so tired I don’t know.
Another thing I don’t know. Like why just now, I left the computer and went upstairs and put my pajamas on. And when I came back, the display had flipped the desktop to read completely sideways. So that I had to turn the computer sideways to use it. I finally got it turned back around, but why in the world it did that I have no idea.
It woke me up, enough to figure out how to fix it.
Maybe I’m so tired, because I can be this weekend. The house is on the market, and all I have left to do for Florida at the moment is get the electric and water in my name. I’ll have to begin to weed my stuff out, and make the dump runs that I’ve been putting off for a couple of weeks now. But right now, this weekend, I can take a breather. And I guess my body is taking one, lol.
Off to bed. Love and light everyone.