Tag Archives: moving on

Foolishness

Posted on by learning to live like water

To love beyond reason
Is kind of foolish,
She thought.
Though she had loved him like that
Forever.

There was no gain
Ever, in loving him,
Except
The joy that comes from having
A heart that’s full.

There was some game
To be played
But she could never
Understand the rules.
She never played it right.

She wasn’t a player
She was a lover.
Waiting
For a sign
That the game had ended.

But he disappeared.
His disappearance filled the void
Where once he lay
Beside her.
Now she wondered if he was real.

Were they, he and she, real
In the time-outs between rounds,
When playing stopped momentarily?
What was there?
Nothing? Or something?

There were times she grew weary
Of the game.
Times she said,
Go. I can’t play this game
Anymore.

Her heart aches still.
She waits for answers
As yet unspoken.
So she moves on,
And tries to love again.

Gaining Perspective Through Transition

Posted on by learning to live like water

This feels so strange. Sitting in the house where my son will live, not with me. But it’s a nice house. It’s a nice room. It’s a neighborhood much like ours at home. The landlady is, like me, quite spiritual. Loves gemstones and rocks like me. Has a wealth of metaphysical books. She doesn’t seem invasive. I’m not leaving him in her care, of course. He’s 24. He doesn’t need a caregiver. But I do think it’s a good step-down from living with me. It’s only for 3 months, then he and his friends will get an apartment.

There are two parks a within a mile of his house.  Big parks with bike paths, and a lake.  Hiking trails all over.  He and his friends were making plans to go hiking this coming weekend.  There is so much to do here.  It’s seriously unbelievable.

It’s amazing how distance, physical distance, can give one perspective on things. I have been able to look at where my life has been for the last couple years objectively. I can see why I made the choices I did, and what I learned from them. It seems easier, when I’m not sitting in the scene of the crime, lol. There is no energy attachment here, to things. There is still to people, of course. Just, when I think about my relationship with Scott, I’m not sitting in the bedroom, family room, or deck where all the lies were perpetrated. It has helped me detach from him emotionally, completely. Spiritually, I think he and I will always have a connection, because I think we always have had one, and I’m sure we will meet again in another life. But that’s ok. It doesn’t make me long for him. I just have to acknowledge the connection that is obvious.

I am quite ready when I get back to move on with my life. To finish packing, to finish saying my goodbyes, to get the contents of my house on the moving van and drive away with my friend. I have been imagining what will happen there for so long, I know that it will manifest. I feel sure of it. Same way I knew that the perfect house would manifest when I bought the house I’ve just sold.

Son and I are going shopping today, for food, a clothes hamper, a few other things, to finish setting him up. I am kind of hoping we can go somewhere to watch the sunset before I leave. I met his friends yesterday, what a nice bunch of guys. They have all done what he has done, moved here from CT. They are really trying to make the transition easy for him. I know Thursday when he takes me to the airport will be difficult for both of us. But I know we both will be fine.

Transitions are hard, this will be one of my hardest ever. Maybe my hardest one ever. But I’ll get through it. I’m strong. I will break like a little girl, to use someone else’s words. But I put myself back together like a woman.

Love and light, all.

Letting Go of You, A Little Bit at a Time (A poem)

Posted on by learning to live like water

IMG_2193 (1)

Sunrise from the town dock, Longboat Key, Florida

I let it go
On the summer wind,
With the sun in my eyes,
I let it go.

I remembered what we did here.
I remembered how it felt then.
I smiled, and I cried, just a little.
I will always miss what was
and I will always miss what wasn’t.

But letting go is something I’m getting good at.
Knowing that letting go
Opens the space
For something new and wonderful
To come in.

Entering the autumn of my life,
I cling to summer.
So, I go where it is warm,
Where I’ll not be reminded
Of the summer dreams that
turned into nightmares.
Where new dreams will be born.

I wish you love and light,
I wish all good things for you.
Even though we don’t talk,
We talk, on levels we don’t understand.
I still feel you, all the time.
I hope you are happier than what I feel.

Let us both feel good about what was,
Just between us, when there was no one else.
Peace to you. Peace to me.
Love always and all ways.

Blowin’ Away on the Summer Wind

Posted on by learning to live like water

summer wind

I walked with my cousin this morning, a short walk, just a couple of miles. The rain stopped, it was cloudy, and though it was very humid, it was cooler, not quite 80. It was a pleasant change. It’s was that way all day, til a short time ago.

We talk, deep and honest, always. I talked to her about moving, and when I talked about leaving my son in Denver, I started crying. Geezus.

The walk was nice, but I can’t even talk about that without losing it. I don’t know how I’m going to actually do it.

Then I went to the grocery store this afternoon. I ran into one of my best friends there. We have known each other 22 years, since our kids were 2 and in Story Hour at the library together. Her daughter and my son were born on the same day. My son is older, lol, by 3 hours. A fact he never let her daughter forget.  She was part of our small book club.

She had just come home from a big family vacation to Ireland and England, with some side trips, one to Paris for a few days, I think. I had called her to see if she wanted to go for a walk about 3 or 4 weeks ago and she said, “Um…I’m in Ireland.” LOL. I said, “Oh, I guess you don’t want to go then…..” And laughed. We talked a little, texted a little.

So it was good to see her, and just catch up briefly. I told her I sold the house while she was gone, and she looked happy and sad in the same moment. We talked about it briefly, because she had an engagement she had to get to, but I choked up again, talking about taking son to CO. I am a basket case. I so wish he had a father. Or I should say, a father who wasn’t a sociopath. Anyway, we are going to try to get the book club together to say goodbye the week after next.

I truly can’t believe I’ll be out of here in 6 weeks. I’ve feel like I’ve been talking about it forever. It’s been so often, my final escape from so much drama in my life, from men who can’t love, or won’t, who have caused me so much pain.  Men who have taken all I would give, and given me back nothing except pain, and heartache, and lies.

Now I look at it as just an awesome thing I get to do. I’m so over all of that. I think about it, and I think, the drama goes on, I’m sure. Just without me. Because, really….how could there ever be any trust there? Yeah, she lied, a small tiny lie to make him stop lying to her, to make him believe he’d been caught red-handed.  I seriously only objected to it because she involved me, and it just wasn’t true. But really, he’s the one who cannot tell the truth. How could she ever ever trust her heart to him again? So much like my ex. Just cannot talk without trying to manipulate someone.

I feel like, she’s just in her comfort zone with him, and willing to put up with his bullshit.  She was never going to talk to him again, twice now, til I did.  So she did.  What kind of foundation for a relationship is that?  If I’d told him to come here that night 6 weeks ago when he asked me so many times….what would she have done then?  Wanted him back?  I was leaving anyway….who knows?  Such a game they play.

Whatever. It’s none of my business. Sometimes I just go off on a tangent, it was part of my life way too long.  I still feel connected to him on some level, it’s weird.  But it doesn’t stop me from living this life.  If we are connected through past lives, which I feels sure we are, we will bump into each other again.  But this life time….I don’t think so.

The whole point, now, is….I get to retire.  I don’t have to work, unless I want to.  I intend to find a part-time job, grocery money.  I get to live by the water, which has always been my other home.  I get to do the things I love to do, that I have a passion for, and not spend the bulk of my time at a stressful job.  I will be so free.  As hard as it will be to say goodbye to my son, the fact that he’s not going to be living with me, makes me all the more free.

I didn’t do any packing today. Just normal house chores. Laundry, shopping, making some food so we’ll have food to eat during the week. Now I’m outside in the sacred space, lol. With a dark rum and diet coke and half a lime squeezed into it. Feeling pretty content. Sun is out, and it’s breezy. This mornings humidity is blowing away.

As are the last years tears, and pain, and drama. Blowing away, leaving cool, clean energy in it’s place. Life is so good.

Love and light, everyone.

Back on an Even Keel

Posted on by learning to live like water

even keel

(( The top picture was me yesterday.  The bottom picture is me today. )

My eyes opened with the first rays of daylight this morning. I had gone to bed late, almost midnight, and managed to somehow get back to sleep for another hour. When I woke, I realized I was sore…from washing windows, mopping floors, carrying bags of empty bottles from the basement storage room to my recycling bin. I have a bit more to do this morning to have the house in shape for the showing today.

The thing was, I woke happy. Despite the early hour. Despite being alone. Despite a lawn mower that won’t start, lol. I feel like I got my clarity back, which was missing yesterday. Triggers, I guess. Just triggers. I see them, I know what they are. I just have to sit through them. Sitting with our feelings.

I find it difficult to comprehend at times, how someone could so devastate me, knowing how I felt about him, with all we shared together, and never wonder if I am ok. Never just say “hi, hope all is well. Happy for you about your Florida house.” How could I have loved, and been so intimate with someone who can be so cold? I suppose he has his own fucked up reasons. He will say he doesn’t need to ask, he reads my blog. And doesn’t feel the need to hear me say it. And for some reason, doesn’t think I want to know that he too is ok.

Whatever. I’m used to his callousness. His thoughtlessness. His selfishness. He’s got what he wants, what else matters?

Maybe just too much water under the bridge now. Idk. I was, still am, angry at him for showing her my writing. For even telling her it existed. Rightfully so. It was none of her business, what we did together. And then her, for having to tell me. So childish, immature of both of them. I’m not ashamed of what I wrote, but I wrote it for him, at his request, because I loved him. To have it cheapened, denigrated to less than it was, to appease her jealousy…..

On top of denying what he clearly felt, all the time we were together, again, to appease her jealousy.

Maybe it’s better I don’t talk to him. Some sick dysfunction going on there. Contact can only make me feel bad again. No contact is hard, but not nearly as hard as having the whole situation shoved in my face again.

Today I know I am moving closer to my dream. Today is one day closer to waking up in my Florida home, 1500 miles away from all the trauma of the last year. New experiences. New people. New joys. I am hoping that the unbreakable connection stretches thin over 1500 miles. I am hoping that I will be so preoccupied with my new life, I won’t think about the old life. At least, not the painful parts of it.

While my house is shown today, I’m going with my friend that I went out to eat with, to look for a dress for her for a wedding. And then to Sam’s Club, to restock the house. She just sold her house, just accepted an offer Friday. She got her full asking price. I’m so happy for her, and it made me hopeful. So glad I have such good friends.

That, and seeing a sundog yesterday. I think the universe knew I needed a sign. 🙂 All in all, things are moving ahead, with the plan I’ve always had. Plans that didn’t depend on a narcissistic man to complete them. I have always said, I wanted him, but I never needed him. I still don’t need him. And the want part…well….it’s fading.

Love and light to all.

Saturday

Posted on by learning to live like water

musings

Whew! I slept 7 hours, feeling better this morning.

Until I realized that my lawn needs mowing, and my son was off yesterday and could have done it but I didn’t even think to tell him. Of course, he doesn’t think of things like that, on his own, ever. He’s working all weekend, so I guess it’s up to me to get it done.

And of course, I’ve been wasting time, sitting here all morning, perusing the dating site for kicks. Wasting time because there’s no one there, lol, and I’m moving so what would be the point? I guess I just wanted to play “imagine that” because I miss male energy in my life. Pretty pathetic.

And then reading, on my WP reader. Which is way more productive and interesting than a bunch of pictures of men I don’t know, probably half of whom are scammers, lol. I have had so little time to read blogs in the last couple of weeks. Work, write, go to bed. Repeat. That’s been my life. And clean the house.

Which I have to do again today.

It’s a little frustrating to be keeping the house “show ready” and have no showings. And scary. I’ve been on the market a week, and no one’s come to see it. I emailed the realtor, asking if I should be concerned. But then again, I don’t want to sell it quickly and be closing in the middle of June, but need some showings, just to keep my spirits up.

I guess I wrote the Scott stuff out of my systems last night. Today I don’t give a shit. LOL. Good. Glad. Not missing the misery he brings with him everywhere he goes. I was just tired last night. It’s easy to revert to old behaviors and feelings when you’re exhausted.

Haven’t decided if I’m going to my friends bonfire tonight. I can’t drink. Even though my stomach thing seems better this morning, I would not take a chance of drinking and killing off all the bacteria in my stomach again. Plus there is this cold kind of feeling hanging around the edges of my health. Not a cold but it wouldn’t take much to become one. I guess I’ll figure it out when I’m done with the lawn. And cleaning the house. And maybe running to the dump. If I go, I’ll have to make some food to take. So will need to add that to my list.

I think I’ll be tired, again….

Might be better off calling my friend in Florida and catching up with her. Or Montana. Or Iowa. Sitting in my jammies and relaxing.

I can’t wait to be sitting on my deck in Florida (or here for that matter) writing, feeling the warm breezes. Smelling the salt air. And be done with all this stress of buying and selling and moving. Back to just living. Creating. Dreaming the good dream.

In proof-reading this blog, I wonder why I feel compelled to chronicle my life here.  I mean really?  It’s not like anyone needs to know how I will spend my Saturday, lol.  I think it’s just a way of organizing my life, and then making myself accountable, because if I write it here, I feel more of an obligation to actually get done what I say I will.

I guess I should go get dressed, get this day underway. Get a little closer to Florida.  The picture at the top is because I am….still…a hippie, (despite someone saying I was not, because I didn’t “live the life” on his terms) and because sunflowers are my favorite flower.

Love and light.

On Breaking Like a Little Girl

Posted on by learning to live like water

breakingi like a little girl

So, look….I don’t break like a little girl. Usually. And not now, not today. In fact I’m a long ways away from breaking.

I am tired, I am slightly stressed. I know I need to be doing things like putting my furniture up for sale that I’m not taking with me. I’ve heard to just sell it on ebay, with a pick-up only, not to use Craig’s list. Don’t want to be letting the craigslist killer in my front door. Maybe I could advertise it in the local little paper. IDK. I need to find someone to give my old washer and dryer to, although, I have been told that Big Brother/Big Sisters will take that stuff off your hands and put it for sale in their stores, Savers. Which seems like a good cause, and I could take a tax deduction.

I need to finish getting the utilities in the Florida house in my name. I need to have the mail forwarded up here from there, til I move there.

I worry that my boss will find all this stuff out, about both houses, and it will ruin my relationship with him, which is good at the moment. Work life could get very unpleasant if that happens. But if I tell him, without an exit date, he might give me one, and I might not be ready to move, and I don’t want to have to pay this mortgage if I don’t have a job. So every day I feel like I’m taking a chance.

I want to find out what a POD will cost to get my son’s stuff to CO. I need to get costs on moving my stuff to FL.

Yesterday I was sat on my deck and fell asleep in the sun. It was lovely. But while I was there, I thought about how I ran into a good friend at the store yesterday, in the organic produce section, and we talked for 15 or 20 minutes. She wants to try her hand at jewelry making, for a hobby, because her youngest child is about to go off to college. So we made tentative plans for me to go with her to get some basic tools etc, and I told her to come over some Sunday (her husband works weekends) and we’ll sit on the deck and make jewelry…drink wine…

Anyway, sitting out there yesterday, thinking about that, I thought, God, I wonder how long it will take me to have friends like that in Florida? Friends I can make spur of the moment plans with, like going to Costco Saturday with my bff, like going to my cousins to do reiki, like having this friend over to make jewelry on the deck. I will miss my peeps so much. They are my family here. I’ll have to create a whole new family and that’s a little scary.

Altho, my bff said Saturday, “we want to come see you as soon as you get settled.” And I know she means it. I said, “October, you will love it there in October. You will be getting pissed because it’s getting cold here…Florida is lovely then.”

But still I had this dark vision of me sitting alone every weekend there, nothing to do and no one to do it with. It was momentary, because I know I will make friends, and I know that before I’d sit all alone, I’d probably head to the beach or my sisters, or something….But, you know, the fear kind of showed up momentarily.

But, I guess the point is, it doesn’t break me. I think a broken heart can break me, but even that only momentarily. And who knows, maybe I know enough now to work through it, without feeling broken at all, if it happens again. Plus, I think I learned enough lessons from the last two men, to choose better, and not fall in love with someone who will treat my heart so callously. I’m sure there are men who actually appreciate a loving heart, and will treat it lovingly in return. I’m hoping I find one in Florida.

Maybe at the yacht club, lol. Or maybe I’ll get a fishing pole and go down to the fishing pier and find a fisherman, one that doesn’t get a thrill out of being helicopter lifted off a sinking ship. One that just likes to catch fish, and be near the ocean. Calmer…..more content. More appreciative of the joys life offers every minute. One who doesn’t need to be walking on the edge to feel alive. One who feels alive every moment he takes a breath, and finds wonder in that gift.

So, the opinion once given me by the man who broke my heart, that I break like a little girl, well, I am gonna guess that he has probably discarded that opinion of me anyway. I broke like a grown up, and I did my work, and I once again found a new path that will work for me. I’ll get through the hard parts of it, probably by writing, by being near the sea every day, by finding joy somewhere every moment.

I won’t walk the edge, I won’t risk falling off. And if I slip, I won’t break. If I crack, well…I’ll let the light in, let it weld the pieces back together, and glow a little brighter when it’s over.

Love and light.

Time to Take a Breather, Apparently

Posted on by learning to live like water

Take-a-Deep-Breath-Whale

I seriously can’t believe how tired I am tonight. I slept ok last night, but tonight I can’t keep my eyes open. It’s only 8 pm. My day wasn’t particularly busy. Went shopping with a friend at Costco, went to cousin’s house to give her reiki. Looked for plane fares to VA for my mother’s memorial for my son and I. It’s a pain because he can only stay overnight, and I’ll stay a couple days longer. Plus we’re not staying over on a Saturday night which increases the plane fares by about 50%.

I sat outside on the deck with the computer looking up the fares on Kayak, Expedia, JustFly….. First time this year I’ve been able to do sit out there. Had some idle memories of sitting out there with S, nice memories, talking, gabbing, listening to his outlandish stories. I wish they had just stayed down below the surface where they belong. It will be good to get to Florida, where that won’t happen. At least, not quite so vividly, not quite so closely. I will be out on the deck there, but a different deck, different furniture, different scenery, different smells. Hopefully nothing to trigger me there, into a memory best left buried.

Whenever we would fight, before she was back, or before I knew about her, anyway, he would always say, “I wish we could just sit on your deck and talk. Things were always different when we could do that.” I wish I didn’t remember that. Because things will never be remedied by an afternoon or evening on the deck again. And truth be told, they weren’t then. Just a bandaid on a huge gaping wound caused by lies, deceit, and betrayal on such a grand scale. Oh how I wanted to believe.

Anyway, it was the first time I’ve used Justfly.com. And the last probably. I kept asking for flights into Dulles in DC. It kept giving me flights into Washington National, on the other side of DC. Exit, Exit.

I was texting my son, who was working, madly, trying to figure out the logistics. Nothing was resolved, and I ended up with a massive headache.

So why I’m so tired I don’t know.

Another thing I don’t know. Like why just now, I left the computer and went upstairs and put my pajamas on. And when I came back, the display had flipped the desktop to read completely sideways. So that I had to turn the computer sideways to use it. I finally got it turned back around, but why in the world it did that I have no idea.

It woke me up, enough to figure out how to fix it.

Maybe I’m so tired, because I can be this weekend. The house is on the market, and all I have left to do for Florida at the moment is get the electric and water in my name. I’ll have to begin to weed my stuff out, and make the dump runs that I’ve been putting off for a couple of weeks now. But right now, this weekend, I can take a breather. And I guess my body is taking one, lol.

Off to bed. Love and light everyone.

Dealing With Unsettledness This Morning

Posted on by learning to live like water

 

unsettled

I’m unsettled this morning. Lots of reasons.

First, concern over my son moving to Colorado. I would feel better if I knew this was something he really wanted to do, not a choice he was making out of necessity, because he can’t stay here. I was happy when I thought he was really looking forward to it. Now, as his mother, I can’t help but feel sad that my choice is making him make a choice he didn’t want to have to make. You know, if you have kids, that your whole life is about putting your kids first. This time, I can’t. He’s an adult, and I can’t stay here and retire. He gets that, he understands. But he doesn’t like it.

Of course, I have made him so comfortable here. No real responsibility here. His own space, really like his own apartment, but he doesn’t worry about the utility bills, or food in the fridge. He pays me $400 a month, he makes his car payment. He does his own laundry. But I’ve always dealt with everything. Why would he want to leave?

I know it will be good for him. I know he needs to do this, even if he doesn’t want to. It’s just that when I was his age, I’d been on my own for about 3 years, a long way from my family, and I was fearless. I had no fear that my life wouldn’t work out the way I wanted. (And it didn’t, but I had no fear about it anyway, lol.)

Then there are the logistics of he and I moving. If the house sells quickly, I’m afraid the closing date will fall in the middle of June which will be a problem for me. We are going to VA in early June, to have a memorial for my mother, and bury her remains next to my dad. In the middle of June son is going to Las Vegas to a music festival he’s been planning for a year. He’ll be gone a week. I am afraid I will be packing up the house before he’s gone. I will have to insist on the end of June for the earliest closing date, if I should get an offer. That’s all, I guess.

I had hoped to drive out to CO with him, and help him get settled. And then come back and drive myself to FL. That would be ideal. I don’t want him going by himself. He’s nervous enough as it is. The alternative is, he could come to FL with me, and we could drive to CO from there.

I guess I should stop worrying about it, and just deal with one thing at a time, as it comes. Duh. Stay in the moment. I may not even get an offer til June, and not close til July some time. I need to trust the universe to work it out in my behalf.

Actually, I think this is all that has unsettled me this morning, lol. Aside from the fact that my arthritis in my hands woke me in the middle of the night and I had to get up and take a couple ibuprofen. Louise Hay says problems with hands, wrists and elbows all have to do with handling new experiences and changes well, easily. That makes sense. I had the trauma of my relationship ending, and now this move to Florida, which, while I want it to happen, is anything but easy.

I didn’t handle the relationship ending at all well. For a long time I thought it would kill me. It took me 6 months to see the reality, the truth. To move on and away from it, from him. To see him for the who he is. That’s not to be putting him down, either. It’s just a fact. It was all about him, and always will be all about him. He’ll always be someone, too, who cannot stand up and be counted. It’s not my issue to deal with, it’s just a fact. It’s not what I want in a man. To know that, in my heart, allows me to let go easily. He was another life lesson. That’s all.

As for the moving…I’m not nervous about it being the right thing. It’s just resettling my son so that he’s comfortable and the logistics of the whole thing. It’s overwhelming to have to do it all by myself. It’s the way it is though, so I will just plug away at it.

I need to be grateful, I think. So here’s the list.

Grateful for:

My health

My son’s health

My sister and brother-in-law, and all they’ve done to help me.

The rest of my family.

My friends.

The financial ability to make the dream a reality.

My lovely home here, which I will miss.

That it will be 70 and sunny today.

Ok, feel better already. Love and light everyone.

Wednesday Morning Musings

Posted on by learning to live like water

I’m an early riser. I usually wake up sometime around 5:30, give or take 15 or 20 minutes. The last two mornings it’s been slightly before. When they went to daylight savings time, I hated it because it meant dark mornings again for awhile. But the last two mornings, I have been able to see the first rays of daylight at 5:30. I know that means that soon, I’ll be able to sit out on the deck in the morning doing this, watching the sun rise. Can’t wait for that. It’s my favorite time of day.

I got a message from the new guy.  He said he forgot, when he told me he’d call me, that it would be Tuesday and he sings in a chorus, and had practice.  So will call me tonight. I answered him, “Ok, I’ll give you a pass. Chorus, you sing? I sang in high school, in the choir, and always at church. But haven’t in years. I still sing in the shower though! Talk to you later…”  He replied “Good morning Deb. Yes, I’ve been singing in the same group for over 30 years. I’d love to hear you sing in the shower, lol.”

So I think the conversation with him will be fun, I’m looking forward to it.

I made the date with the realtor for pictures tentatively for Monday. She’s going to stop over on Sunday sometime and sign the paperwork. So I will be live on Zillow sometime next week! Just pray for me, that it sells quickly and easily. I want to get to Florida.

The house looks good, my son promises his space will be done by Sunday night. He’s off Sunday so hopefully it’s true. I am sure I’ll have to assist, lol.

I talked to my brother-in-law about the insurance on my house, and I swear, insurance is so fear-based!!!! It is terrifying when you start to think about all the things that could happen!! Especially in Florida, where they have terrible hurricanes and tornadoes, and floods. My house is 20′ above sea level, so I’m above the flood plain. And my roof is new, but the house is old. I probably have some worry if there’s a hurricane, but tornadoes are rare that close to the ocean. Of course, there have been huge water spouts seen in Tampa  Bay, which is where the town I will live sits

water-spoutThis is an actual water spout in Tampa Bay in 1995

Well there’s always some worry, no matter where you live. We get hurricanes in Connecticut too, and blizzards, and a tornado once in a great while. There was what they called a microburst about 20 years ago right in my small town. It took down a tree in my yard and totaled a car. My ex saw a waterspout on the lake right in front of our house once on a windy day.

So let it be what will be. I still can’t wait to live where there is never winter. Never to shovel snow again. Or have the buggars freeze in my nose, lol.

Life it good. Love and light, everyone.