You visited me last night
In my sleep.
It’s been a long while
Since you found your way
Into my slumber.

You woke me up,
and tormented me
With the memories,
and the future
And the lies
and the truths.
I was still in second place.

I miss my sleep.
But there you are.
I can’t stop you from coming here.
Lord knows, I’ve tried.

Your deep gravelly voice
talking low and quiet in my ear.
Your hands
Wandering hands,
heating up my skin.
Your eyes,
Piercing through the darkness.

I asked you to go away.
I wanted to sleep
A blissful sleep,
Devoid of you.
But it wasn’t what you wanted.

No.
You wanted that part of me
That no one else will give you.
Just to take, just to have.
Returning nothing to me.
Like a security blanket
You wanted to know nothing’s changed.

Nothing will change.
Ever.
Doesn’t mean I want you in my dreams.
They are false dreams
Of things that won’t happen.

It’s a mindfuck really.
It’s all it is.

Morning breaks,
I see it for what it is.
I don’t cry, I am not happy either.
I just move on,
Away.

Like the Pink Floyd song
“There is no pain, you are receding.”
You’ve been receding for quite some time now.
I can still see you though.
I can still feel you though.
It’s out of my control to stop it
It’s the way it is.

Second place doesn’t suit me well.
Not even in my dreams.