Daydreamin’

lotus-in-bloom

Daydreamin’ kind of Saturday
Golden laid back mellow
Melting into the sky and sun and breeze

Pleasant dreams are germinating
From a tiny pion inside my brain
To a sprout,
To a bud,
Then a bloom.

So, with eyes closed
Sit here in the sun
Let the dreams grow
Til they light up the landscape with their beauty.

By Deborah E. Dayen

Picture Shutterstock, via Google Images

Paying Attention to My Dreams

Two nights ago I was having nightmares, triggered by what’s happening to this country. Last night I had a much calmer dream, which also, once interpreted with the help of dreammoods.com, pretty much spelled out clearly where I am, and what I need to do.

Dream: I was giving someone directions to get to where I was. The route number they had to take was 217. Then, I was with them, looking for route 217, in a car, going up a very steep craggy mountain covered in mud. I was not driving, but was in the front passenger seat. Many many people were on this muddy dirt road going up the mountain and just before the top of the mountain we could see that everything was stopped. It seems there was an accident, a car turned sideways. It could have just been stuck in the mud. I remember remarking as we went up this extremely muddy, rutted and very steep road that it was amazing that no one was stuck on this steep slope in the mud.

Mud: To see mud in your dream suggests that you are involved in a messy and sticky situation. It also suggests that some spiritual cleansing is needed.

Driving: To dream that you are driving a vehicle signifies your life’s journey and your path in life. The dream is telling of how you are moving and navigating through life. To dream that someone else is driving you represents your dependence on the driver. You are not in control of your life and following the goals of others instead of your own.

Number 217: Reduces to a 1. New beginnings, new starts (the year is 2017, same thing). We were looking for it, unable to find it.

Mountain: To see a mountain in your dream signifies some major obstacle and/or challenge that you have to overcome. If you are on top of the mountain, then it indicates that you have achieved and realized your goals. You have recognized your full potential. Alternatively, mountains denote a higher realm of consciousness, knowledge, and spiritual truth.

To dream that you are climbing a mountain signifies your determination and ambition.

Car accident: To dream of a car accident symbolizes your emotional state. You may be harboring deep anxieties and fears. Are you “driving” yourself too hard? Perhaps you need to slow down before you hit disaster. You need to rethink or re-plan your course of actions and set yourself on a better path.

Car: To dream that you are driving a car denotes your ambition, your drive and your ability to navigate from one stage of your life to another. Consider how smooth or rough the car ride is. If you are driving the car, then you are taking an active role in the way your life is going. However, if you are the passenger, then you are taking a passive role.

Crowd (The many people on the journey with me): To dream that you are in or part of a crowd suggests that you need some space for yourself. You need solitude to reflect on a situation and recharge your energy.

Interpretation:

I am allowing myself to be driven by external elements. I have gotten myself into a murky, muddy situation which needs some spiritual cleansing. (Amazing how I knew that yesterday, and took the day off.) I am looking for the elusive #1, a new start, new beginnings. Not so much for myself but for all of us. Personally, I am already in the throes of a new beginning. There were many people on this journey looking for this, but I apparently need more time to myself, which is what I realized yesterday and took the day off from all the chaos, specifically to recharge and reflect. The car accident at the top of the mountain symbolized my fears of what might happen to this country and our lives, my life.

As a whole, the dream has me looking for a positive and new (to me) way to help (#217 = #1), it shows me my fears (accident at the top of the mountain preventing me from achieving my goal), it shows me where I am, (in a murky and muddy state, without clarity), and tells me what to do to find the best way for me to help (spiritual renewal).

Which only confirms the way I felt yesterday, but also tells me I am not ready to jump in yet. I have not found a path that will best serve me and others. I will continue to look for it. Today I’ll spend in solitude, until this evening when I have a meeting of the Vets Art Center.

I got on FB this morning for a bit, but got off when I began to feel triggered again, and remembered this dream. I hope that I am able to continue to access my center, to follow my gut and do what I need to do to remain calm, and to raise my voice against what’s happening to our country. And to continue making my own small corner of the world a happy, loving space.

Love and light.

Dreams, Again. Good Ones.

I’m sitting here in my sisters living room, sipping on a cup of coffee, with not much on my mind this morning. I slept well last night, even though I woke up a couple times, I got back to sleep. I couldn’t go sit outside this morning, because although it’s a beautiful morning, everything is soaked. I guess there must have been some dense fog earlier. It’s still humid and summerlike out, but not too hot. Love it….

I had some dreams and decided to look them up. One was about a letter I was trying to send to someone. I just remember seeing the envelope, but I’m not even sure who it was to. Dreammoods does not address under letters sending a completed letter, only writing one. I assume there is someone there I still have things to say to. But don’t know who it is, so I’ll let it go.

Another dream was about windows, 4 windows in a room, with the wood frame painted a different color on each, bright primary colors. They were big windows. That turns out to be kind of cool…Here’s what they said about windows and primary colors.

To see a window in your dream signifies bright hopes, vast  possibilities and insight. The size of the window is reflective of your outlook; a small window suggests that you tend to not get your hopes up too high when good things happen, while a large window symbolizes your openness to new experiences.

Colors in dreams represent energy, emotions, and vibes. First consider what that single color in your dream means to you and your own personal associations and relationship with that color. In general, pale pastel colors indicate weakness or subtlety. Dark colors represent passion and intensity. Bright colors mean awareness.

I like that…I am open to new experiences, true! And that I have some insight and awareness, well, that’s like my quest anyway.

Then I dreamed I had a big blister on my leg, maybe 2” in diameter, that was bleeding around the edges, but I managed to get it to stop.

To dream that you have a blister indicates that some minor annoyance or problem is draining your energy and time.

To dream that you are bleeding or losing blood signifies that you are suffering from exhaustion or that you are feeling emotionally drained. It may also denote bitter confrontations between you and your friends.

To see your legs in your dream indicate that you have regained confidence to stand up and take control again. It also implies progress and your ability to navigate through life. To dream that your leg is broken, wounded or crippled signifies a lack of balance, autonomy, or independence in your life.

The only minor annoyance I can think of is the conversation I had with that quasi-friend the other night. It did leave me feeling emotionally drained, but I think the fact that the blister and bleeding were on my leg, shows that this interaction did upset me but that I am in control of my life and emotions.  Since I stopped the bleeding,I will interpret it all to be over and done with, and that I am not losing any sleep over it. Feeling in control of my own life. I feel confident and happy. And really….it was a minor annoyance anyway. Not major.

I’m happy to be remembering my dreams. With dreammoods.com, I feel like I get some insight into my subconscious. I am happy to know that what the emotions and actions I am manifesting through my ego, are in tune with my subconscious. It feels balanced.

My sis and I are gonna go do a little Christmas shopping this morning. That should be fun, there are lots of cool little shops around here. Going to be an awesome day.

Love and light.

Last Night’s Dream Analysis

Well, not only sleeping last night, but dreaming as well. I dreamed that I was at a long table, with many people at it, eating a hot dog with all kinds of fixings on it, and found my ex-husband sitting next to me eating one as well. I remember looking at him and saying “Oh! I forgot you were here.” As usual when I dream of him (which is rarely) he said nothing. But watched me eat with the critical eye he always did. Which was actually funny, since he’s the one who got himself up to about 300 lbs.  But that was always about control, making me feel self-conscious, and unsure with hm.  It was never about how I looked.

Then I dreamed I was in a flower garden, with one of my best friends from up north, the friend who drove down here with me. Gosh I miss her. She is a wonderful gardener, and has planted flower gardens all over her 3 acres. Her deck and her house are full of plants and flowers. I gave her my house plants when I left.

So, it was off to dreammoods.com

The hot dog dream was the weirdest, because my ex was in it. Here’s what they had to say.

Hot dog: To see or eat a hot dog in your dream is phallic symbol representing masculinity, sexual energy, and vigor.

Ex: In particular, to see your ex-husband/wife in your dream indicates that you are currently finding yourself in a situation that you do not want to be in. It suggests that you are experiencing a similar relationship or situation which makes you feel unhappy and uncomfortable.

Eating: To dream that you are eating with others signifies harmony, intimacy, merriness, prosperous undertakings, personal gain, and/or joyous spirits.

So…sitting with my ex, eating a big hot dog. Well, we did have a good sex life, until we didn’t, and I am ready for another, that’s for sure. As for seeing him indicating that I find myself in a similar situation, well….Yeah, I did. I don’t now. I’m guessing that because I have had such a hard time completely letting go of S, and how much unhappiness, and uncomfortability that relationship has brought me, that’s the relationship that was in my subconscious. However, that is, for me, undone by the fact that I’m eating with others, signifying that I am now in harmony, and in a good place. I think that door is finally closed, and I am really open to something new in my life.

The garden with my friend…well, it’s a nice dream. It was a good dream, and it followed up the hot dog dream. Here’s what dreammoods has to say.

Garden: To see a flower garden in your dream represents tranquility, comfort, love and domestic bliss. You need to be more nurturing.

Friend: To see friends in your dream signify aspects of your personality that you have rejected, but are ready to incorporate and acknowledge. The relationships you have with those around you are important in learning about yourself. In particular, to dream about your best friend means that you need to foster or acknowledge some special quality that your best friend has. Ask yourself what makes your best friend your best friend and how you need to work on these attributes within yourself. Alternatively, dreaming of a friend indicates positive news.

I think that dream is all about me nurturing. My friend is very nurturing. Witness the fact that she drove most of the way here, knowing I was pretty well spent after moving my son to CO, and packing my house, and leaving everything I’d known for 45 years in a matter of 3 weeks. I couldn’t be more grateful and loving toward her. She’s a true friend indeed.

Yesterday, I tried to pay that forward. I called my childhood friend who lives down here, and she was kind of depressed (she is prone to that). I asked her if she wanted to go shopping, and she said no….and then told me she just wanted to crawl in a hole and pull the cover over it. I said, OK, I’m coming to get you in an hour, and we’re gonna go get a bite to eat and a drink. So she’s the one I went to St. Pete beach with. I’m going to try to be more that way toward my friends.

Dreams are wonderful things, if we can just understand what they are trying to tell us. It’s all good.

Love and light.

Out of Sight

leaf

Leaf blowing in the autumn wind
Chased, for it’s beauty
Glowing the bright colors of the earth.

She chased it, with all her breath
Racing with the wind
To catch up with the apparition.

It slowed, and she almost caught it.
Teasing, a sudden gust blew it
Just out of her reach.

Across golden fields she ran
Through dark forests,
Obscured by the fog.

Up hills strewn with rocks
Through meadows fragrant with flower
She chased the dream of holding the leaf.

Always, just out of her reach.
Finally, exhausted
She let go the desire

To hold the leaf, to feel every facet
To know it was real.
She watched, as it blew out of sight.

Phantom Phone Call

I’ve had a few dreams over the last couple years, always about the same person, that seemed so real that when I woke, I was sure it wasn’t a dream.  I’ve been trying to find a name for that on Google, the best I can do is Astral Travel.  Who knows?  Maybe.  Astral travel is about souls traveling, I’ve always been sure there was some old soul connection between us.

Last night at 3 AM, I was awakened out of a deep, sound sleep by his ringer on my phone. WTF. I haven’t talked to him in ages, and have no desire to. I was so dead asleep, I didn’t even wake up til the phone was in my hand, with of course, no call, no missed call, no nothing, which was good. But I could still hear the echo of the damn phone ringing.

The last time I had one of those dreams, I heard him come into my house through the slider on the deck, and come up the stairs.  I remember waking up, thinking he was there because I could still smell him in the room. I can still hear that sound, just like I can still hear my phone ringing.

Phantom calls in the middle of the night. Sheesh. I went back to sleep, thankfully.

I think I need to ask the powers that be to please keep him out of my dreams. He’s not welcome. I have such a nice life here, so relaxed and laid back, who needs that kind of drama, even in their sleep?

Weather is once again beautiful. Every day the same. 85 and sunny. I can take it, lol. I’m tough.

Love and light.

Second Place Dreams

You visited me last night
In my sleep.
It’s been a long while
Since you found your way
Into my slumber.

You woke me up,
and tormented me
With the memories,
and the future
And the lies
and the truths.
I was still in second place.

I miss my sleep.
But there you are.
I can’t stop you from coming here.
Lord knows, I’ve tried.

Your deep gravelly voice
talking low and quiet in my ear.
Your hands
Wandering hands,
heating up my skin.
Your eyes,
Piercing through the darkness.

I asked you to go away.
I wanted to sleep
A blissful sleep,
Devoid of you.
But it wasn’t what you wanted.

No.
You wanted that part of me
That no one else will give you.
Just to take, just to have.
Returning nothing to me.
Like a security blanket
You wanted to know nothing’s changed.

Nothing will change.
Ever.
Doesn’t mean I want you in my dreams.
They are false dreams
Of things that won’t happen.

It’s a mindfuck really.
It’s all it is.

Morning breaks,
I see it for what it is.
I don’t cry, I am not happy either.
I just move on,
Away.

Like the Pink Floyd song
“There is no pain, you are receding.”
You’ve been receding for quite some time now.
I can still see you though.
I can still feel you though.
It’s out of my control to stop it
It’s the way it is.

Second place doesn’t suit me well.
Not even in my dreams.