Well, not only sleeping last night, but dreaming as well. I dreamed that I was at a long table, with many people at it, eating a hot dog with all kinds of fixings on it, and found my ex-husband sitting next to me eating one as well. I remember looking at him and saying “Oh! I forgot you were here.” As usual when I dream of him (which is rarely) he said nothing. But watched me eat with the critical eye he always did. Which was actually funny, since he’s the one who got himself up to about 300 lbs.  But that was always about control, making me feel self-conscious, and unsure with hm.  It was never about how I looked.

Then I dreamed I was in a flower garden, with one of my best friends from up north, the friend who drove down here with me. Gosh I miss her. She is a wonderful gardener, and has planted flower gardens all over her 3 acres. Her deck and her house are full of plants and flowers. I gave her my house plants when I left.

So, it was off to dreammoods.com

The hot dog dream was the weirdest, because my ex was in it. Here’s what they had to say.

Hot dog: To see or eat a hot dog in your dream is phallic symbol representing masculinity, sexual energy, and vigor.

Ex: In particular, to see your ex-husband/wife in your dream indicates that you are currently finding yourself in a situation that you do not want to be in. It suggests that you are experiencing a similar relationship or situation which makes you feel unhappy and uncomfortable.

Eating: To dream that you are eating with others signifies harmony, intimacy, merriness, prosperous undertakings, personal gain, and/or joyous spirits.

So…sitting with my ex, eating a big hot dog. Well, we did have a good sex life, until we didn’t, and I am ready for another, that’s for sure. As for seeing him indicating that I find myself in a similar situation, well….Yeah, I did. I don’t now. I’m guessing that because I have had such a hard time completely letting go of S, and how much unhappiness, and uncomfortability that relationship has brought me, that’s the relationship that was in my subconscious. However, that is, for me, undone by the fact that I’m eating with others, signifying that I am now in harmony, and in a good place. I think that door is finally closed, and I am really open to something new in my life.

The garden with my friend…well, it’s a nice dream. It was a good dream, and it followed up the hot dog dream. Here’s what dreammoods has to say.

Garden: To see a flower garden in your dream represents tranquility, comfort, love and domestic bliss. You need to be more nurturing.

Friend: To see friends in your dream signify aspects of your personality that you have rejected, but are ready to incorporate and acknowledge. The relationships you have with those around you are important in learning about yourself. In particular, to dream about your best friend means that you need to foster or acknowledge some special quality that your best friend has. Ask yourself what makes your best friend your best friend and how you need to work on these attributes within yourself. Alternatively, dreaming of a friend indicates positive news.

I think that dream is all about me nurturing. My friend is very nurturing. Witness the fact that she drove most of the way here, knowing I was pretty well spent after moving my son to CO, and packing my house, and leaving everything I’d known for 45 years in a matter of 3 weeks. I couldn’t be more grateful and loving toward her. She’s a true friend indeed.

Yesterday, I tried to pay that forward. I called my childhood friend who lives down here, and she was kind of depressed (she is prone to that). I asked her if she wanted to go shopping, and she said no….and then told me she just wanted to crawl in a hole and pull the cover over it. I said, OK, I’m coming to get you in an hour, and we’re gonna go get a bite to eat and a drink. So she’s the one I went to St. Pete beach with. I’m going to try to be more that way toward my friends.

Dreams are wonderful things, if we can just understand what they are trying to tell us. It’s all good.

Love and light.