I’m back from the gongs. I kind of set an intention in keeping with my last few blogs, to let go of that which no longer serves. I have done this on many levels, but if I want to fully cleanse myself, I need to do it at some very deep levels, where this attachment, this connection is hiding out.
I lay on my back for much of it. Usually after about 5 or 10 minutes I am kind of curled into a fetal position, lol. Tonight, I just wanted the vibrations to slide down and through my body, to enter everywhere there is a crack or a wound. I kept thinking about, just let it go, just let it go, with love and light, just let it go.
This connection is hard-wired I am afraid. I finally was asking for help from whatever spirits might be available, particularly Archangel Michael who has that awesome blue sword, to come in and cut the connections during the tsunami’s of sound . In the vibration of the gongs, I could visualize the energy cords radiating out from me, and Archangel Michael gracefully slicing them all away from me. I repeated the mantra, that I no longer want, no longer welcome, any energy connections from him.
I have done this before. I did it with my ex husband and it worked quite well. I have done it with S, and it works for a day, for an hour, for whatever, it’s never been permanent. I asked that it be made permanent. Regardless of it’s origin. You may remember that my friend who is a medium suggested to me that he was my twin flame, and that’s why the connection couldn’t be broken. I asked tonight that even if that’s the case, which I hope and pray it is not, that the connection must be able to be severed somehow.
I’m ok, for most of the time. I don’t get sad, but I do get angry at the betrayal again, just of the last few weeks. The dishonor he puts on me, saying the things he did, and on himself, and on her, not trusting her with the truth. Seriously, an untruth honors no one. But these are things I need to let go of on the deeper level. I suppose I’m really angry at myself for believing him for those 3 weeks. Believing that he’s gone low enough to change, that he’d hit his bottom and could now manifest the man I’ve always seen beneath his bullshit.
Well, now I know. I don’t know what it is with him that when she shows up in his life he becomes a total asshole. Well, he does, that’s all. It’s not m problem any more.
Often times, the effects of the gongs don’t show up right away. Often the work shows up in the next few days, as your body absorbs and assimilates and adjusts. So tonight I’m going to bed quite tired, quite exhausted, content, relaxed. Knowing that I am doing the work that needs to be done to release myself. I wished he weren’t so much on my mind tonight, but he was, so it is what it is. I have to allow it and deal with it, and not bury it, or ignore it. Let it in, make it’s presence known and then, let it leave through the back door.
So here’s to letting go of stuff we don’t want, need, or serves us any purpose. No matter what the origin. There has to be a way, in this lifetime, to walk away from it 100%. If anything can help, it will be the gongs.