Dreaming The Night Away, Except When I’m Not

Dreams are normally not my strong suit. I rarely remember them. But when I do, I often have to look them up on Dreammoods.com to figure them out. It’s been a little weird for me since I had that possible sighting I wrote about in the last post. So here goes.

First dream, on that night. I got home around 10. I put my nightgown on, got the house all set for the evening. I called Dan to tell him of my exciting evening, of meditation, etc, to attract the ET’s. I thought I might have some trouble getting to sleep that night, but truth be told, I was quite tired, and quite relaxed. I turned the light off at about 10:30 and was asleep in about 5 minutes. At about 12:30 I woke with a start. I don’t remember the dream I’d been having, but when I woke I thought my son in particular, and also my sister, were supposed to be in my house, sleeping. I got out of bed, completely lucid, and walked around the house looking for them, especially for my son. I said, a couple of times, while walking around, “Where’s my kid?” Out loud. I walked to the guest room door, looked in and saw no one in there. As I turned around, I stopped myself. I said, again out loud, “Bruce is in Colorado. Your sister is in Virginia. No one is supposed to be here. Go back to bed.”

I took my own advice, and went back to bed and right back to sleep.

It wasn’t like sleepwalking, because I was awake. I remember every minute of it. But obviously I was deep into a dream state. I’ve never done that before, ever. Never walked around the house in that space between dreams and wakefulness. Thought about it a lot when I woke in the morning. Still thinking about it.

2nd dream some days later. Again, I don’t remember any specifics of the dream, but I do remember knowing that I was dreaming. I guess that’s a lucid dream. I remember saying to myself at least 3 times, “You’re just dreaming, but just keep dreaming and see where it goes.” So that was strange, for me. I do kind of wish I remembered the dream.

3rd was last night. I went to Dan’s yesterday so I could watch the football game. Tom Brady and the Bucs against Kansas City. It’s a lot of fun to live where all the local sports teams are Champions. But I digress. I went to bed about 10:30. At about 1:30 I was awakened by someone saying my name loudly. Since I’d been sound asleep, I assumed it was Dan, who usually comes to bed around then. Except that he wasn’t there. He was still in the living room and watching TV.

This was something that’s happened before. I’ve been awakened by a phone ringing, waking me out of a sound sleep, but no one had called. Once my smoke alarm in my bedroom went off with a smoke alarm’s terrifying warning in the middle of the night. It stopped as soon as I opened my eyes and turned on the lamp on my nightstand. A couple weeks ago I was sitting in the kitchen, fairly early like around 7:30, and the smoke alarm in there went off. Twice. That horrible alarm sounded twice and then stopped. And not again, since.

I don’t know what has brought this stuff to the forefront of my sleeping mind. Most nights I go to sleep pretty easily, and go back to sleep pretty easily if I am awakened. After each of these occasions I did go back to sleep quickly and easily, but it surprised me when I woke in the morning, and remembered being awakened from a sound sleep so rudely followed by immediately nodding back off.

I guess I am done with my musing about the weird happenings while I sleep. Hopefully they will give me a break for awhile, and just let me sleep.

Love and light to all.

My Own Close Encounter

This post is a follow-up to my last post about the CE5 Initiative.

There are 3 elements to making contact.

1. A connection to the One Mind Consciousness of the Universe

2. A sincere heart

3. A clear intention to make contact for the purpose of peaceful interaction with these beings.

Also, helpful elements include

  • Good good vibrations. The ET’s vibrate at a much higher rate than us so exist outside our natural range of perception. If we can increase our frequency in an attempt to match theirs, then we have a better chance of making contact.
  • Group Coherence and Cohesion. Coherence involves shared and common values, intents and goals. Cohesion has to do with how well we (our CE5 group) function as a unit.
  • Belief. Believing what you see, not questioning yourself out of believing. And talk to the rest of the group about anything you think you saw, because someone else may have seen it too.

And here is where I will jump back in. A friend and I went to an area which some call the Vortex in my small town. It’s a spot on the water, along a walking path. First, we played a recording that was made in the middle of a crop circle. The tones are apparently attractive to the ET’s. There are others on the CE5 app as well, but I kind of stuck to those. Then I played the meditation which is in the protocol (or you can do your own). We followed that with our best effort to follow the Coherent Thought Sequencing which is also one of the protocols. This is how they are vectored into our precise location from wherever in the universe they are. And in between, we repeatedly invited them using only our thoughts. My friend left after a couple hours, around 9 PM. But I chose to stay. I continued to try to vector them in, as well as watch the sky, and play the tones as directed, and meditate. There was a star in the western sky, quite faint and so, I assumed, far away. It was stationary. I kept going back to this star which would come and go in my vision, I assumed because it was quite hazy out as it usually is in FL in the evening in summer. I didn’t really have any expectations, and sincerely just thought it was a star. In the meantime, I watched a couple of planes flying over, red lights flashing because they were headed east. Another just had white lights but was obviously a plane, a smaller one. I could hear them both.

I went back to the faint star again, as I’d been doing for about a half-hour, and it had remained stationary all that time. Then quite suddenly it began to silently move, toward the east mostly, but not as if it was following a course. It was overall traveling east, but kind of up and down. Then it flashed. The CE5 crowd calls it a flashbulb. It’s a flash, not a rhythmic on and off, just a singular flash, like a flashbulb. This happened 3 times, that it flashed. And then…..it vanished. All this happened in a span of maybe 15 or 20 seconds.

It is common for an ET vehicle to be stationary, and to then move without sound. The flash is very common and is why I began to think it was actually contact. They often flash like that to communicate with those watching them, kind of like confirmation that yes, they know we’re here and appreciate the invitation. And they often vanish like that. It’s commonly believed they are trans-dimensional and so can just bow out when they need to.

I waited there another 15 or 20 minutes. Then since it was really about my bedtime, lol, I decided to go. I kept thinking about this phenomenon over and over. Not believing it was real, but then it was actually the same as so many other eyewitness accounts of contact. I actually think that I was being drawn back to that spot in the sky by them, they wanted me to see them move, and flash. I was just looking for my phone, for the camera, when it vanished. I was quite calm, relaxed, and pretty thoughtful as I walked back to my car. The more I thought about it, I began to believe that what I’d seen was simple contact. Why deny that what I hoped would happen, did? I’d followed the protocols for a couple of days prior, practicing the coherent thought sequencing and listening to the meditations. I’d believed that they might answer, why not believe that they did?

I read the next morning that a bunch of people in Ohio, in different towns, had made contact and they had a lot of videos. Now I’m a long way from Ohio, but still, contact happens all over the planet on a daily basis. Perhaps they were there as a response to my invitation, and maybe not.

I’m thinking of going back out this evening, to a place that might be a bit darker (there were a lot of lights at our location the other night, to light the walking path.) I really would like to go down to one of the barrier beaches, St. Pete beaches, where it’s very dark, and the sky is vast. But I’ll have to see how the sky is tonight before I decided. There is often lots of cloud cover in the summer over the water.

If you want to see the videos, they are on the FB page for CE5 Initiative: Make contact with ET’s Using Dr. Steven Greer’s Protocols, or on the CE5 Global page.

I’m just following it all to see where it leads. So far so good. I love that the elements for making contact are spiritual in nature. So much about the one cosmic consciousness, and how we are all one thing, about love, and about joining with a peaceful heart and intent.

Love and light to all.

Close Encounters of the 5th Kind

The other day there was a meme on FB saying, “You‘ve been kidnapped, and will be rescued by characters from the last thing you watched on TV. Who is going to rescue you?” My answer was Emery Smith and David Wilcock from the Gaia series Cosmic Disclosure.

I’ve been immersed in this world since I saw Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind (on Amazon Prime) about 2 weeks ago. Then I watched Unacknowledged and Sirius, both on Gaia. It’s not radical information, or shouldn’t be. Or, maybe the definition of radical needs to be revisited. Because…the ideas presented by Dr. Steven Greer are, by current standards, radical. But also amazing. Beautiful. Loving, compassionate.

I haven’t sorted it out yet. Talking about it, without you, the reader, having seen any of these movies, or read any of the info, could make me look a little kooky. I assure you I’m not.

The gist of these films is that we on Earth have been visited by extra-terrestrials for 1000’s of years. Dr. Greer has created a set of protocols that anyone can follow, and invite and attract ET visitors to interact with us. He founded CSETI in the early 90’s, the Center for the Study of Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence. Then, with so much resistance from the military-industrial complex, he founded CE-5 Initiative among regular citizens of the world. CE5 is short for Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind. This is a new category for human-initiated contact. (You can look up CE1-4 on the internet.) Anyone can form a CE5 group, and thousands of people have. I am trying to put one together here.

The thing that really blew my mind is that people who are in government, in the military, have known about this since at least 1947, and have kept it the most closely guarded secret ever. Dr. Greer has advised every president since Bill Clinton about the ET phenomenon. He has document after document showing definitive proof that they have known, and have kept it secret. It seems that Area 51 in Nevada is a real thing, confirmed not by my wee little brain, but by the military. That’s just the beginning.

No one involved in the CE5 Initiative has had an experience that is frightful. There is no ill intent on the part of these beings. They communicate through telepathy, and everyone who has been lucky enough to have a close encounter has said they only felt unbelievable unconditional love from them. Their objective is to help us, to assist us in raising our collective consciousness. They are afraid we are going to destroy ourselves and our planet. They would also like us to be able to join the other interplanetary civilizations. Consciousness-raising is key. It’s a pre-requisite for Earth to partake in this greater one consciousness.

The thing that really is upsetting about the cover-up of this is that they have given us the technology to FIX climate change. To CURE diseases. Think about that for a second, follow the money. Because the money is why it’s been kept from us. These ET’s are, from all accounts, about a billion years ahead of us in evolution. This is how they can travel across millions of light-years. And communicate with us.

But honestly, the whole thing sounds like someone’s fantastic story. We don’t want to believe that there are people so intent on power and greed that they would allow our planet to go dark. And I’m not going to try to convince you to do anything except to check it out. There is so much information out about this, because almost every country, including the US has declassified all the documentation. However, our government is trying to spin it as something to fear. (I think Trump’s Space Force idea came from his briefing on the ET’s., but that’s just my intuition. I have no idea, really. Google Dr. Steven Greer, Emery Smith, David Wilcock, David Adair. Astronauts Ed Mitchell and Gordon Cooper are involved in this. And a myriad of other people. The more people who are unafraid, and try to make contact with the ET’s the better off we will be. If the governments and the military and the 1% don’t want us to be doing this, we will do it ourselves. And that’s what is happening. All over the world.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Thunderstorm

I sat outside for a short while today. I spent the morning doing housework, you know, unloading and reloading the dishwasher, folding laundry, scrubbing out the slow cooker from the pot roast I made for Dan yesterday. I took my kindle outside, cleaned off my deck chair after yesterday’s ridiculously violent, albeit short, thunderstorm, and sat down. As soon as my rear end hit the chair, I heard a roll of thunder from the west, which is the Gulf of Mexico. It didn’t scare me though, as it’s a daily occurrence here, and so often doesn’t produce a drop of rain. I listened as it approached.

It was kind of surreal. There was no other sound besides the thunder, no birds, very few cars on the street, no one talking in their yards, no lawnmowers running. Not a sound. Not even a breeze at least not until I’d been out there a good half hour. But as it’s wont to do this time of year, the thunder roll kept up, crashing a couple of times. I kept alternately reading, then dozing off, my kindle repeatedly falling in my lap. I checked the radar on the Weather Channel, and it showed a line of thunderstorms moving up the west coast of Florida, skimming my town on the west side, and then dissipating. I went back to reading, and listening, and dozing, every once in a while to be startled from my reverie by a louder, closer clap of thunder. It was a warning. A few raindrops teased my arms and face, and one or two fell on the fact of my kindle, and my phone. The thunder was still approaching.

I gathered my kindle, my phone, and my glass of water and retreated back to the safety of my small house here. I sat on my couch and idly wondered if it would be like yesterday when Dan and I were watching TV, the pot roast cooking, an L3 d suddenly the wind went from 10 mph to about 25, blowing an incredible downpour horizontally past my windows. The tempest lasted only about 15 minutes and left plenty of downed palm fronds in its wake. But today, I am still waiting for the storm to boil and roil, though I have my doubts that it is anything but bravado since the thunder is getting farther away now.

Florida. So much of the year the weather is incomparable. Sunny, not so humid (today it’s 85° and 74% humidity) and a breeze blowing in from the water. There are days that I spend the whole day out on the deck, but not today. And most likely not for a few weeks. The weather will just begin letting up when I am in CT next month and revert back to its benign beautiful self.

I am alone today. Dan had to take his brother for a Covid test, for a procedure he’s having tomorrow to try to solve his AFIB. He had a simpler one a few weeks ago but it didn’t work. He’s nervous about tomorrow. He has to stay in the hospital overnight, and he has so many other health issues he’s worried that he will be one of the less than 1% of patients in whom this procedure is not successful. I’m sure he’ll be fine, but he’s had a lot of problems this year, so I get his fear. I almost called/texted a couple friends I have not seen in so long, to invite them over, but honestly, I am tired today. I had one of those nights where you think you were awake and not sleeping but it turns out you probably didn’t lay there for 2 ½ hours not sleeping, so you must have. Still, I am tired, as if I didn’t sleep those 2 ½ hours.

The thunder just silenced, in the last 10 minutes, though now it’s raining. So, it’s almost over, and has mostly missed us.

Time to finish this meditative rambling on the thunderstorm, and time to start my new book club book.

Love and light.

Quiet Saturday

It’s been a quiet day today. I awakened early, at 6 AM on the dot, in the dark. You know, I didn’t realize when I moved here that days are shorter, significantly. I don’t think the sun ever comes up before 6, (or maybe I slept through it?) and the latest it’s up in the evening is 8:30, around the summer solstice. In CT, it comes up sometimes as early as 4:30 AM, and didn’t set until after 9, at least around the solstice, up to maybe the 4th of July. I do miss the long days of summer, but, as usual, I don’t miss the bad parts of living up north, like really short days, and frigid temps and piles of snow….

I made a good trade. Even though for the entire months of July and August it storms every day. Somewhere at least. Not always here, but we can hear it and see it, though often without a drop of rain. Crazy wild electrical thunderstorms, one a couple days ago that brought a brief hail shower. So weird that frozen water came out of the sky when it was over 90°.

Today I got a text from son’s gf, telling me that Baby L is the size of an avocado. I think this week coming up is when they’ll find out if it’s Baby Luna or Baby Lucian. I told her when she told me about the avocado, that I love avocados and please send me a picture. She did, and she glows. She is a beautiful mother. This child will be half Polish, one quarter each Mexican and Okinawan. A true American. I love the avocado to bits.

I have set up my spare bedroom to hold my reiki table. I love having a dedicated space. I’ve been working on business cards for my practice. The problem now is Covid. What else? Of course. Florida is beyond the pale with our infections, almost 50,000 yesterday. Our governor has issued an order that school districts canNOT have mask mandates, and is threatening the salaries of superintendents if they issue them anyway. Which quite a few have. Imagine, no mask mandate for kids who cannot get a vaccine yet, when this state has more than 25% of all the cases in the country. It’s so upsetting. Governor’s name is DeSantis. A lot of folks call him DeathSantis. Only 40% have been vaccinated in this state. And almost every day we see a story about a family who refused a vaccine and most of the family is dead a week later. Heartbreaking. Avoidable.

I’ve gone back to keeping multiple masks in my car, and not going anywhere. Got my groceries delivered today. But back to reiki…I am afraid to bring people I don’t know into my home, and even those that I know and are vaccinated is iffy. So I’m just trying to plan classes for Reiki levels 1 and 2 to start whenever Covid gives us a break. Whoever would have believed that almost 18 months later this pandemic rages on.

I’m supposed to go to CT in September, 5 weeks. I am keeping an eye on the numbers and if they don’t get better, I may cancel. I want to go, haven’t seen my son since Feb 2020, or his girl, or daughter… and I miss them so much. I need the numbers to go down. I mean, we had 50,000 cases yesterday, and CT had 540. Not sure who will want me to stay with them, coming from the worst spot on earth. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see. And pray, imploring the Universe to turn the tides for us.

Speaking of tides, we had such a terrible red tide this year. Beaches full of smelly dead fish, and the air of the tide causing respiratory issues with many people. Last year I didn’t go to the beach at all, because I couldn’t walk. This year I didn’t go because of the red tide. And the red tide was avoidable this year, because it was caused mostly from the release of millions of gallons of polluted water from a now defunct, closed phosphate plant. The storage method of all this polluted water failed, and dumped into Tampa Bay. Some people who know about this stuff are saying that Tampa Bay may become a dead zone. Heartbreaking. Some of the most beautiful beaches in the world…..

So now you know what’s been on my mind on this quiet Saturday. Wonderful things, and some terrible things, some things that are a work in progress. Life, in all it’s Just many facets. I am very grateful my life and the people in it this evening.

Love and light to all.

Following Passions

It’s been a while, again. I’ve been reading, for my book club. I’ve been finishing up a couple of courses, one on Quantum Touch, and I’ve been dabbling in Quantum Healing Codes, and The Emotion Code. All of those are healing modalities, which will work with Reiki. Besides that I have been rearranging my guest room so I can fit my massage table in there, so I have a dedicated space for reiki, instead of putting it up in the living room and having to take it down when I’ve finished performing on someone. It is coming out pretty well. I hope to start advertising for clients next week sometime.

I bought a Reiki Oracle Deck from Amazon. It’s kind of like Tarot, except it references reiki in everything. Reiki, higher consciousness, meditation, love. The readings involve setting an intention, and a short prayer to the universe for guidance regarding the particular intention I set. I give myself a reading daily, and almost every day the guidance is to get started on my Reiki practice, that it’s what I’m meant to do, etc., etc., etc.

So I’m about to do it. I’m ready, I’m trained, I’ve studied, I’ve practiced. I’m excited.

I watched the documentary “Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind” last week. Actually watched it twice, the second time with Dan. It’s about all the thousands of pages of government documents on UFO’s that have been released in the last few years. It’s mind-blowing. The movie is headed up by Dr. Steven Greer, who was an emergency room doctor, and now heads up the Disclosure Project, which he created to get through all these documents, and release the info to the public. He’s a brilliant man, and also heads up CE5 groups (CE5 standing for Close Encounters of 5th kind). He’s advised every president since Bill Clinton about the actual threat or lack of it from these encounters. The videos and interviews are breathtaking. All stuff kept secret from all of us since at least 1947.

Like I said, it’s mind-blowing. There’s another documentary, related, but more about the military response to this info, called “Unacknowledged.”It too is almost incredible, if there weren’t so many absolutely unimpeachable sources.

It’s been so hot here for so long that I have been inside a lot. But now, with the return of Covid protocols, I’m trying to go outdoors more. I need fresh air, and I love sitting on my deck watching the birds, butterflies, and what seem to be a newly hatched crop of geckos. They are so tiny.

I got my first cataract removed, my worst one almost 3 weeks ago. The surgery was quick and easy and by the end of the day, I could see much more clearly with that eye. I had to pop the lens out of my glasses though, on the right eye, because my glasses were way too strong with my eye being so much better. So now I’m walking around with one lens in my glasses. I’m going next week to the opticians where I got them to get a clear lens put in til I get the left eye done, probably not until October.

I’m going to CT in September for a couple weeks. My son and his family are going too, from CO, for a wedding, and I’ve been recruited to stay with Ellena while they go to the wedding. I’m very excited about this. Maybe I can take her apple picking, or down to the shore to Mystic. Or something else, maybe my son will come up with an idea. They will only be around for 5 days, but I’m staying longer so I can catch up with all my friends. I haven’t been back for 3 years, mostly due to Covid and my spinal problem of last year. Which, by the way, is pretty good, as long as I get on the stationary bike every other day. It’s so awesome to be able to walk normally, without pain.

Now if Covid would just find its way out of town. Florida is once again heading up cases and hospitalizations. I have two friends who have breakthrough cases after being fully vaccinated in March. I am pretty scared to fly while these numbers are so out of control. It’s been back to wearing masks and staying home for the time being.

Life is full, and a little crazy, but I’m following my passions, and that feels good.

Love and light to all.

Rain, Reiki, and The Stanley Cup

Boy, I sure miss sitting outside on my deck. It’s been hot and stormy and rainy now for days, maybe weeks. But, that’s Florida in the summer. Monsoon season. My sis was saying a few weeks ago, before the season was upon us, how guilty she felt for not wanting any rain. Our weather had been amazing for a long while, like low 80’s with humidity under 40%, but extremely dry, or as they say in the Northeast, wicked dry. I told her don’t feel guilty, monsoon season will soon be upon us, and it was. Soon. And will now be that way into September. Then we’ll have a short window before tourist season starts.

There’s a lot to like about monsoon season though. I don’t have to water the plants, like, at all. I do have to dump the water out of one pot I have that has no overflow vent, but that’s it. The temps stay in the 80’s mostly because it’s pretty cloudy. And, it can be interesting. This morning I said to Dan, what a beautiful morning. And it was really nice out, sunny some high puffy clouds. And he and I got up at the same time, which is really unusual. I had visions of us making breakfast for ourselves, sitting chatting since we both got a good night’s sleep. Momentarily though, a cloudburst descended on us and it began pouring and blowing, and his mother called and needed something…..and there went my beautiful morning. It’s been raining on and off all day now (it’s dinnertime) and the sun has peeked out a few times between raindrops but I haven’t seen a rainbow yet.

I completed my Karuna Ki Reiki course, got my attunement and my certificate showing me as a Karuna Reiki Master. It’s a very intense arm of reiki, and works on healing and/or understanding things like the shadow self, and the inner child. I really enjoyed it, though the attunement gave me a headache and a bit of an upset stomach that night, and also felt very emotional for a few days, but most powerful attunements do affect one physically and emotionally. It’s done as part of the regular reiki session, and I had a friend come over so I could practice on her. She said she could feel the energy move through her more. Since neither of us knew what to expect, that seems like a good start! Now I’m studying another modality, not related to reiki, called Quantum Touch. Even though it’s not related to reiki, it can be incorporated into that practice, but it will be awhile before I feel confident enough to practice it, even after taking the course.

When my friend was here for the practice session she showed me how I could rearrange my guest room so that I could move my massage table in it, and leave it up. I started on it already, shouldn’t be a lot of work. I’m pretty excited about it, as the table is a pain to put up and take down and try to move. Especially for someone whose back is not yet fully functional. She also convinced me I need to purge a lot of stuff out of my house, stuff to which I’m very attached. I know I need to let some of it go. So that’s in the back of my mind too. The things I brought with me are all things that give me good memories, and I had so few from most of my life. So that will all be a struggle for me, but I do live in a tiny house (which is not that tiny for Florida!) but for me…I downsized from 2700 sq ft to 900… I’ll get there. Mostly I just want to have a dedicated space, my sacred space, to practice the healing arts I’m learning.

We have been watching the NHL playoffs intently, because the Tampa Bay Lightning are in the finals and look like they might sweep it. They need 4 wins to win the Stanley cup again, for the 2nd year in a row, and are up 3 games to none. Next game we will hear those famous words, “The Stanley Cup is in the house.” since it’s possible that they will game 4 and thus the Cup. How fun is that for Tampa Bay? Such a winning streak we’ve been on with our sports teams.

Love and light to all, from hot, wet, muggy, cloudy, winning Florida.

Thoughts Through The Thunderstorm

It’s a good thing I’m home alone tonight, because I’m feeling a little disconnected. From myself. I spent the morning cleaning up my house, well specifically my bathroom and my kitchen. I had a contractor coming over to look at my bathroom because it needs a remodel really badly. So, this was my starting point. The weird thing was that when she got done measuring everything and finding out what I wanted to do with each thing, what the end result would be…we started talking about having kids, an outgrowth I gues, of me saying that I was going to be a a grandmother again.

Oh…yes, that’s true…my son’s girlfriend is about 9 weeks pregnant. I am, they are, very very excited. But more on that later.

Pretty soon this contractor woman and I were sitting on my couch relating all kinds of stories of childbirth, of ailments, etc. The conversation just flowed, and it was good. I feel a bit strange about it, even though everything I told her and she told me, was personal, it was only about us. Not our significant others or anyone else. Only about our kids in passing. She was much younger than me but could be my friend. If…if….I wasn’t looking to have her company do work for me. So…I’m going to leave it where it is, but may do reiki for her sometime.

Right now one of Tampa Bay’s famous electrical storms is raging outside my window. Thunderbooming loudly. And lightning flashing across the living room, through the drawn venetian blinds. It seems as though the universe is trying to jolt me out of my disconnection. Which I have yet to explain to you or even myself.

Last night we had book club meeting. We read The Invitation, which is one of the most amazing poems I’ve ever read. I used to keep it open on my phone when I lived up north because I was trying to bring to me, to manifest as it were, the man who could, first of all, understand what it was about, and secondly, answer the questions posed. Because if he could do that well, the way I needed him to, I could have the intimate relationship that I have dreamed of.

After the woman for the bathroom left I contacted one of the new people in our group who has some real shit to go through so I offered last night to give her reiki today if she wanted. She has no idea what it is, but trusted our group enough, I think, to try it. She didn’t come today, but I did send her distance reiki.

I felt distracted. This morning I did self-reiki, as I do most mornings. I was focused, I could feel the energy, flowing through me, intensifying. This afternoon, sending it to her, I was distracted. I finished, with difficulty, but I really worked at focusing, and felt ok about the reiki. But me, my insides were pitch-poling all over. I called Dan, and I know he was wondering WTF was wrong with me. But by the time we hung up, a half hour later, I felt grounded, on my way back to my center. I do love that man.

The thunder is fading, but it keeps doing that, fading and then crescendoing. Like when we play the gongs. I’ve been on a journey today. An interior one.

Oh, and about the baby! About a week ago my son told me I would get a package from he and his girlfriend, and to not open it until I had them on Facetime. So, I did as I was asked, but never thought about what it could be. And if I had, “a baby” was not entering my mind. Anyway, I opened it as asked, and they watched, and it was a onezie, for a newborn. And it said on the front “You’re going to be a Grandma again!”

So sweet, so perfect. I shed a few tears of joy. Her due date is 2/2/22. Yes, Groundhogs Day. But more importantly, a very master number. All those 2’s! Of course, we all know that babies don’t usually come on their due date. But still, it’s a very cool thing. I asked Ellena, my other grandkid, to whom Bruce has been a father for 4 years, if she wanted a little brother or a little sister. She is 9. Her answer was, she didn’t care which. She just wanted to be the big sister. She’s very excited too. Yesterday they went for their first doctors visit. They had an ultrasound and sent me a picture. Dez, my son’s girlfriend, said, “Our blueberry is now the size of a kidney bean.” And has been calling the baby their little bean. I love it. I was invited to come stay with them from before the baby is born until a couple of weeks later. !!!!

Feeling blessed. And still reconnecting. Life is amazing. Love and light to everyone.

Random Thoughts

Why does change make me feel insecure? As if I don’t know who I am any longer. But underneath that is an assurance that I know better than ever who I am, and what my purpose is. I think I’m gathering courage to push myself over this hump, and the feeling of insecurity will then be replaced with a knowing that I can help people, that I can extend unconditional love to people who have never experienced it. And in that way, the world will change, one person at a time, extending it out exponentially. I am just part of that one mind.

So it’s been hard, to separate myself from the small group of friends. Not that I am really separate, not that we are no longer friends. I’m feeling like I needed to go off in another direction. That the old direction was not helping me to evolve, which is my purpose. Learn my lessonns and evolve my soul.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my reiki session with a new, brand new, friend who is in an abusive relationship. She needs so much support, she really triggered me. I told her it would take more than one session, and that was before I gave her the reiki. It’s been about 10 days, and every day I’ve struggled with my reaction to her. Thinking that of all people, I know where she’s at, and how hard it is to break out of that pattern. I intend to call her, and bring her back here, even if it’s for a half price session or something. I know money is tight with her. I want to wait until I’ve had my Karuna Reiki Master attunemennt, because that will enable me to go deeper with her. My attunement is in about 10 days. But I want to call her before, and just let her know I didn’t forget her.

I have been thinking about doing a sound healing for my book club. Having the next meeting here. I have thought maybe I could give each of the 4 other girls an instrument and I could loosely guide them and we could play together and see what happens. I’ll bring it up at our next meeting.

It’s been cloudy this week, and often we can see a cloudburst on the horizon. The sun may be out somewhere else. But now that the clear skies are streaked with clouds we have these amazing sunsets, and sometimes sunrises. And sometimes neither, just clouds. A thunderstorm woke me the other night. Actually the other morning, at 4 AM. First time this year. It kept up for about an hour. My plants are very happy about it. Everything is turning greener, even though I try to water them regularly. The soil here is very sandy, and water rarely penetrates more than a couple inches. Which is why the streets flood so easily, because the rain just runs off the ground and into them.

Chinese leftovers for dinner tonight. Chicken mei fun, with some soy and siracha added. It wasn’t bad. I’m home tonight, it is an off-night for the Tampa Bay Lightning in their pursuit to defend the Stanley Cup. I go to Dan’s to see it because I don’t have regular TV. He played hockey when he was a kid, defense because he’s a big guy. And of course I paid my 10 or 12 years worth of dues as a committed hockeymom. I still like the game, a lot. So I’ll be back at his house tomorrow night. Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Championship.

Right now, though, I am off to make myself a hot fundge sunday with sugar-free hot fudge and Dulce de Leche ice cream. Mmmmmm.

Love and light to everyone.

Change, The One True Constant in Life

I got word yesterday that my high school boyfriend is in the hospital and will probably transition within the next day or two. He’s had a myriad of very serious health issues. It made me so sad, because he was such a good guy. The person, from my old hometown in Iowa, who told me said he is fighting it, but his time now is measured in days.

He was such a good guy. He is a really good guitarist, and in high school played lead guitar in a popular local band. We were together 3 years, but then I went away to college, and he stayed in town, and I met my ex, and that was that. I always said, all he really wants to do is play the guitar. But, from what I can tell, he was a good family man, and had a happy life. We are friends on FB, but don’t ever talk except to wish each other a happy birthday. I am good with that. But not good with the pain and trauma he has undergone in the last few years. If you pray, then pray that his transition will be easy, and not painful.

So I got on the chat with my high school friends and gave them the bad news. They were, of course all friends of his as well. When I did contacted them, I found out the sister of one of my BFF’s, who I’ve known since I was 12, is also in the hospital with a serious bout of sepsis. My friend was worried, so I asked her if she wanted me to send reiki, which she did, so I sent it to her. Just for peace and also for her sister’s health.

It was a day full of sad news. I guess we are getting older, and losing people we’ve known our whole lives is going to become more frequent. While I accept that this is inevitable, I want to rail against it. I just have to know that no one ever really leaves us, and that they live on through the love we hold them in, in our hearts.

I’ve been motivated to finish up my will, living will, POA. I don’t want to leave my son a mess to deal with.

In other news, I have withdrawn from my writers group, Hypatia. I have just lost interest in the group, in writing in general, at least within the group. I will still write here. There are a few other reasons why I left that group. One of the main ones is that for close to 5 years, well 4 because of COVID, I hosted all the meetings at my house. Not once did anyone think that perhaps someone else should host it. While I’m pleased that they all liked to come here, and it was enjoyable for awhile, I just could never understand why anyone thought it was appropriate to just always come to my house, when they all have homes, and places that would accommodate the group once a month. No one asked if I wanted to do it agai

n, they just assumed. “See you at the next meeting” they’d say as they left. When COVID came we did the meetings on Zoom, but they were not the same. They lacked the social aspect. I know I allowed this to go on too long, til it was really grating at me. So I realize I had a part in being taken for granted by them. I had one of the members tell me that she “doesn’t do that, she and her husband don’t have people over.” I remember thinking “what makes you think that’s ok? To always go to someone else’s house and never invite anyone to your home?” This same friend asks me at least every week if she can come over and sit on my deck and talk. But never asks me to come to her house. Some of them said they could have it at their houses, but never offered when the time came.

Anyway, I don’t want to sit and cast aspersions on the members there. I just feel that I’ve drifted away, my interests have shifted and I want to spend more time on learning more about Reiki, about spiritual pursuits. In that vein a few newer friends and I have formed a spiritual book club like I had up north. We call ourselves the Soul Sisters. We’ve had two meetings so far. I’ve met new people who are much more aligned with my thinking, and support me in my endeavors in that vein. And we’ve already agreed that we will take turns hosting.

I feel relieved that I don’t have to cater to Hypatia any longer, which was how I’d begun to feel. I am hoping that perhaps I’ll get my writing mojo back a little bit.

So, things change, but they don’t. I am still friends with the women in Hypatia, but don’t feel the closeness I once did. My path and theirs have diverged, and I’m heading in a different direction, that’s all. I sent a group text to Hypatia, and only a few of them messaged me back. And those were most asking if I’d come to Sunday’s meeting. One of the other members is holding the meeting this month, since I didn’t offer. I had said in the text that I was taking the summer off, and would see them in the fall. Two of them responded with, “Will you come Sunday before you take the summer off?” Apparently didn’t read, or chose to ignore, my “see you in the fall” thing.

Whatever. I’m onto new things. I’m about to begin the Karuna Reiki training, another course which will teach me more about crystals, and a couple of other ones. I’m very excited about them all. I think they will add to my reiki practice.

Change is really the one constant in life, isn’t it? People come and go, interests change, we grow and evolve.

Love and light to all.