Happy this morning. A is fine, I got my “goodnight sweetie. I love you.” He feels bad he left his phone at home, and he banged his head with a floorboard and has a big bandaid on his forehead. But he’s safe and whole, and I’m relieved.
Looking forward to the day. Making some new friends on here, and elsewhere. Future looks bright, continuing to be drama free. I still get the energy vibe from S, I am getting good at recognizing it, and it’s not that I ignore it, its just that I know he needs to work through this himself. He kept telling me he wanted to be alone, and even though it was an excuse so he could see Betty and keep me, now it’s true for him, so I hope he makes use of the time. Could be that what he said, the lie, was closer to the truth of his soul. He set his life up to fail, and bring him where he is. He manifested the state he’s in. I hope he comes out of it better, stronger, wiser, kinder, and more whole. I hope the child who steers that riverboat makes it to the distant shore.
Most of us know that great beauty can be borne of tragedy. I sincerely hope he can find it. I think I’m well on my way, to creating a more beautiful life out of the tragedy of loving him. The picture at the top made me think of this. There are 3 hands, one for me, for him, for Betty. And the bird, flying….we reach for it, to fly with it. I know it’s carrying me now. I hope its carrying them too. Out of the darkness, into the sun.
Life is good. Love and light.