https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbviXG_56ss
There was a time in my life, about 4 years from 2007 to 2011, when I was just spending every moment trying to hold my own in court against my abusive crazy ex. My son came to live with me in 2009, but I still had nothing, except my paycheck and some child support, to support us until the Supreme Court decision in 2011. After 30 years of marriage he held every asset we owned and the court would not order him to release any of it to me, except for attorney’s funds. My car was falling apart, I was building up a good chunk of credit card debt. I was scared a lot, but had to keep pushing on, for my son and I. I don’t remember ever feeling safe, or that my son was. It was without a doubt, the hardest 4 years of my 64.
I would listen to this song, and sing along with it, the words
Lead us to a place, guide us with your grace, to a place where we’ll be safe.
And then I’d cry, and pray.
In the end it all turned out ok. My prayer was answered. But whenever I hear this, I can remember…..
learningtolivelikewaterblog.com 
I can’t imagine what the 4 year battle entailed.
Nasty. Really nasty, especially the first 2 years.
What kept you alive?
Just knowing that eventually I’d be free of him. And I couldn’t imagine that the courts would uphold what he was trying to do. The early part, when my don lived with him was so scary. Because my ex would use my son to manipulate me bye thought nothing of hurting my son if it got the desired reaction from me. But… I found my path in the midst of the chaos. And it carried me through.
My husband is already manipulating my children against me. Happens every time he arrives back. I know it won’t be a clean break if it should ever happen…
At some point it was scarier to stay than to leave. That’s when I finally did it.