I have always said I don’t need anyone. I thought that meant I was needy, and I never, ever, want to be needy. It has come to my attention, however, that needing someone does not automatically make you needy.
I have a few people in my life, currently, that I need. My son, my family, and most of all, at this moment, Dan. That doesn’t mean I can’t function without any of them, it means that my life is fuller, happier, richer with them. Needing someone doesn’t automatically mean draining them of energy, taking and never giving, being unable to be alone because of our own insecurities.
Those who have followed my blog for awhile know I have been through the wringer with men. It made me independent, determined never to need anyone. I might want them, I might love them, but I never wanted to need anyone. It felt too vulnerable. It felt like hanging from a limb by my fingernails, because when they disappointed, or betrayed me, the limb would break and I would fall to the ground and break.
Then along comes this incredible man, Dan. Who has never betrayed me in the 6 months we’ve been together. I mean, not for a second have I ever had to question his love, care, concern and commitment to me. (And I believe he does not question mine for him.) As a result, now I need him in my life. He lifts me to bright places I have not seen before. He wraps me in a love that is grander than anything I ever knew possible. He climbs out on the limb and pulls me up, instead of sawing it off. Then he finds a limb that will hold us both.
I am so grateful for him and the other people in my life that I need. I am so grateful that I am able to need someone without feeling needy. So glad that there is someone in my life who makes it easy for me to lay down my armor, and let me in, let me breathe freely, unafraid.
Love and light to all.