Ha ha ha
Boo hoo hoo
Who the hell
Are you????
The clown?
The lover?
The actor…..
Very good at the improv.
Academy award
Oscar….
But you never could feel
How I loved you.
Ha ha
Boo hoo
Poor me.
Poorer you.
Never to know
How I loved you.
Category Archives: Poems
Not Ignorant Bliss
I missed you for a moment.
A single, solitary, moment.
I remembered, quickly,
How it always ends.
Badly.
Her
You
Me
Out there.
On the outside.
Your choice.
“Why do you have to be so jealous?”
“That green-eyed monster….”
She has one too.
A monster.
You just don’t knock on it’s door
with her.
You don’t tell her
You asked me
to come see you
The minute she walked out the door.
All you wanted
was a blow job
anyway.
“The best you ever had.”
But she’ll never know.
Your “girlfriend.”
HA HA.
She lives in ignorant bliss.
I’m working my way back there.
Toward bliss.
Not ignorant though.
Everywhere
I have climbed the snow-capped mountains,
And seen your beautiful face in the valley.
I have crossed the river
And seen your twinkling eyes in the slow moving water.
I have run through the meadow
And heard your name whispered on the breeze.
I have lifted my face to the gentle spring rain
and smelled the sweet scent of you as it filled my heart.
I have stood in the white full moonlight
And heard your voice call to me.
I have teetered on the brink of the abyss
And felt your hand reassure mine.
I have sailed on the vast blue ocean
And seen your soul dance in the waves.
And you still have no idea
How amazing you can be.
The Void
“There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled.
There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled.
You feel it, don’t you?”
– Rumi
I do, I do.
I search, I seek, I love, I cry, I laugh.
The void remains.
Sometimes it feels smaller,
Sometimes it feels bigger.
Tonight, it is my whole being,
Voided out.
Empty.
Searching seeking for that which will fill the emptiness, and make me forget.
The Healiing Time
A dear friend had this poem on her Facebook page. It resonated with me in a profound way, and I share it with you.
The Healing Time
Finally on my way to yes
I bump into
all the places
where I said no
to my life
all the untended wounds
the red and purple scars
those hieroglyphs of pain
carved into my skin, my bones,
those coded messages
that send me down
the wrong street
again and again
where I find them
the old wounds
the old misdirections
and I lift them
one by one
close to my heart
and I say
Holy Holy.
-Pesha Gertler
It Will Beat Again
If I met you today
I would love you all over again.
I would set myself up for the heartbreak
all over again.
I would see you
And feel you
I would lavish your body with love
All over again.
But I know you already.
I see you.
You have reached into my heart.
I know your fingers
I know your breath.
You pull out my heart and squeeze it
Between your fingers
Until it stops beating.
Someone else will come along
And breathe life back into it
While you still hold it in your hand,
my life blood on your hands.
Someone else will come along,
Gently take my still heart from you.
Nourish and nurture it
Until it forgets the feel of your fingers,
The smell of your breath,
The cold gleam in your eyes
As you watched me struggle.
It will beat again.
Who Knows?
Autumn in full glow
The leaves in day glow colors
Love in bloom
Vibrant
Full
Expectant with color
Emotion.
Life, full and rich.
Until the bitter cold wind blows through
Ripping the leaves off their tenuous hinge.
Throwing them to the ground,
To wither, and die.
The leaves, still full colored,
Lay on the ground
Blind-sided by that cold bitter wind.
Their luster already fading.
They disintegrate into the earth.
The devastation is complete, thinks the cold wind.
What was, will never be again.
But love never dies.
Transformation begins.
With transformation comes something new
And maybe more beautiful.
Who knows?
No Man’s Land
Broken
Reduced to less than zero.
Complete wreckage
strewn across the cold stark landscape.
Impossible to see the original intent
Of all the pieces.
What were they?
No one knows.
Unrecognizable.
The pieces lay ,
silent,
And numb.
The screaming over,
The tears dried.
No one to pick them up
No one remembers, or cares, to put them back together.
A no man’s land
Nothing comes,
nothing goes.
It ended
As if it never existed.
Purification Fire
Walk through the fire
smell the burning flesh
toenails blackened,
Fall off.
Burnt hair stink,
As flames crawl up the legs.
Screaming to be raised
Above the devastation.
As arms reach out,
gray dripping skin.
Take me away….
lift me out
PLEASE STOP THE FIRE.
No, the voice speaks,
You’re not done burning.
Purification fire.
Let it burn out.
Head down
Streaks on the face burning around the streams of tears.
Not enough tears to put the fire out.
Eye lashes, eyebrows,
Ash.
Eyes look down, unable to look up.
They see….
Transformation.
Gray, burned embers of feet become
Perfect.
Beautiful.
Legs, blackened sticks
Regain strength and grace.
Transformation,
creeps up the blackened body.
The soft places, gray and smoldering
Become soft and supple.
Transformation
Eyelashes, face, lips
Soft, now flawless skin
Complete
Transformation.
Purified by fire
More beautiful than before the fire.
Reborn. Whole. Glowing. Exquisite.
Love.
Burning the Bridge
This is an old song by Judy Collins. It was my anthem, when i was in the process of escaping my abusive ex-husband. But it seems appropriate again, now, with S. Running…running….For my life.
RUNNING FOR MY LIFE
There’s a cold icy wind blowing like a demon
Off Lake Michigan.
I’m going where the weather is warm and the heat off.
You burned me out and you did me in,
You beat me at the game
I can not win.
I’m going where the pace is slower,
The stakes are lower.
I’m running for my life.
Tomorrow I’ll wake up without you.
I’ll curl my hair, and listen to my heart.
I don’t want to hear a word about you,
I’ll do what I care to do,
I’ll do what I dare to do.
I’m running for my life.
I can see the switch man out in the freight yard,
Waving his lights at my train.
Red fir stopping my heart from beating,
Green for driving me insane.
And the rain is pouring,
And the wheels are rolling past that Nevada line
I’m going where the weather is hot,
And you are not.
I played the fool I believed your lies,
I danced till I was nearly paralyzed
I’m gone and going.
I’m running for my life
Tomorrow I’ll wake up without you,
I’ll get a room with windows on the sea
I’ll do all the things I could never do,
You never will find me here
Not a thing to remind me here.
I’m running for my life
Sky’s getting bright with California sunrise,
Shining its light on my train
Drying my tears soothing my fears,
Taking away my old pain.
And the engine’s rockin’ and the wheels are talkin’
About the tracks ahead,
I’m going where the world is new and the past is dead.
You brought me low and you got me high
I laughed so hard I thought that I would die.
I’m leaving you with my bridges burning,
There’s no returning.
I’m running for my life
I’m running for me life
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