This post is a response to the SoCS (Stream of Consciousness Saturday) prompt on Linda G. Hill’s website ( https://lindaghill.com/2019/05/10/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-11-19/  ) .   The prompt this week is “Strain”.

Strain. Straining. Strained. All three in the last few days.

My normally good humor has been strained, by people who didn’t intend to, but did. I strain to get over it, to put it in the past, and I have been successful, most of the time. For some of the people who strain me, it’s easy to put it in the past. Because usually those people only strain me temporarily, and if I am honest, I strained them too.

For others, it IS in the past. Like people who you have made it a point to exclude from your thoughts and life, and they keep popping up, wanting me to talk to them, or react to them. I strain not to be exacerbated. This is the first time I have even mentioned it, but really, why would you hound someone who clearly hasn’t shown a bit of interest in talking to you in 2 years, despite repeated unsuccessful attempts? UGH. It does strain my good humor, momentarily. It’s not that I am angry, or hurt, or any of the things that I imagine are going through this person’s mind. It’s not that I’m afraid of them, not that I feel they can hurt me at all. I just have no interest in opening the door even a crack to them. They are just a personna-non-grata in my life. My life has moved on, and I am happy, and content with my life just the way it is. I wish they would just leave me alone. I wish that they would just move on, and maybe strain to find someone new in their life, or just make a new friend. It ain’t me, babe, in the words of Bob Dylan.

I played the gong for a bunch of my friends in the last week. Most of them loved it. But some of them strained to deal with the volume that the vibration can put out. It’s ok, it’s not for everyone. But my Spirit Girls all loved it. Others in my writing group loved it. I hope I can bring the kind of healing to others that it has brought me. It is absolutely no strain to play it. I can easily get lost in it. When I am irritated, or otherwise unbalanced, I can play the gong for a while, and literally, the unease, the dis-ease, leaves me. It’s a particularly beautiful and effective when combined with a singing bowl. So, the gong is a way to deal with the emotional strains that we all find ourselves with at times.

I strain to not shoot my mouth off about our Twitter-in-Chief, and his antics. He not only strains every brain cell I have, but he also scares me, because he (I believe) purposefully distracts us with the non-sensical stuff he does, and then gets away with bigger stuff that can hurt us. I’d LOVE to see him removed from office, but if the Dems keep on the course they are on, digging, digging for dirt, they will not find themselves with the most effective candidate for the next election, and he’ll win again. Which I believe he is straining to do, to distract from choosing, and supporting the best candidate as a party and then straining with all our might to elect him and thus throw the man out of the White House. Just my humble opinion.

And then again there’s that physical strain that we all, especially as we grow older, have to deal with. Backs, knees, hips, feet, ankles. I push myself so that I can remain mobile as I age, but RA makes it a real strain at times. My Daniel is still straining to regain full use of his shoulder and arm from surgery he had 7 months ago.

Lots of things strain us. And somethings, are just strained, like pasta. Fresh squeezed orange juice. Or smoothies. Those are things that are wonderful uses for a strainer. And they don’t cause any physical and/or emotional or mental strain.

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day, and it will be no strain for me. We’re getting dinner at a good restaurant and bringing it home, and all I have to do is set Dan’s mother’s table. Don’t have to cart food and dishes back and forth from his house to hers and back. I hope everyone’s Mother’s Day is as wonderful as mine will be.

Love and light to all.

Note:  The prompt for today’s SoCS prompt is Soul/Sole to be used separately or together, however we choose.   SoCS is hosted by Linda G. Hill, at https://lindaghill.com/2019/03/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-16-19/

The picture above is a picture of my soul traveler crystal. It is one of my favorite crystals of the many that I have. It is about 3” tall, about 1 ½” in diameter, terminated at one end. In the center is what is called an inclusion, a single black dot, which looks like it’s floating. That little black dot is what makes it a soul traveler.  (In order to enhance the picture enough to see the black dot, I had to cut off the terminated end of the crystal.)

I bought it at a place in CT, where I bought almost all my crystals, called Nature’s Art. I became good friends with the woman who managed the crystal and mineral store. Her name was Barbara, and she was a wonderful resource for all things crystal. She was 10 to 15 years older than me.  She had a wise countenance, and it went perfectly with the bun of white hair on top of her head. I once bought a crystal ball from her, though I had no idea how to use it. She said even though she normally only did this for family members, she would show me how to use it. Though I’ve never been able to see anything in it, I was honored that she showed me. I’ll try again one of these days.

In one corner of the store, they had a row of buckets, which were labeled $1, $2, $3 , and were full of crystals, which you could just pick through.  Barbara never minded when I came in to the store, sat down on the floor in the corner and went through the buckets.  I found some really cool crystals in those buckets. If I couldn’t identify them, I’d take them to Barbara and most of the time she could tell me right off the bat what kind of crystal it was, metaphysically speaking. Inner child, channeler, soulmate, tabby, stargazer, abundance. There are so many, so many more.  If she didn’t know what it was, or did but was unsure of the metaphysics of the crystal, she had the resources behind her counter to look it up.  But when I took this one to her, not knowing what if any signifcance it had, she looked at me wide eyed, and told me it was a soul traveler, on it’s way through the ethers. I asked her, “Is that soul, or sole?” Because obviously this tiny dot of inclusion was alone in the crystal. She smiled at me, and said, “Both, I would say.”  It was a somewhat unusual crystal to find.

Through the many years since then, I have collected more than my share of crystals. I have a few favorites. One of them is a dolphin crystal, so named because it is a larger crystal with a smaller one attached to one side, the way you see dolphins carrying their babies on their backs. Dolphin crystals are supposed to be very protective. This particular crystal also is a channeler, meaning one face of it has 7 sides and connects to a 3 sided triangle at the point, it is also a time-link, and a window, and is what is known as self healed, meaning it healed itself when it broke off from the main body. There are no jagged edges where it separated, they are all rounded and smoothed. Another favorite is my phantom crystal, which appears to have ghosts of the crystal inside it. Over the millenia, the same fluid which created the original crystal, poured on top of it, over and over, to create the outline of the previous lives in the crystal.

Dolphin Crystal                                                Phantom Crystal

Personally, I believe we are all soul/sole travelers. We are all making our way, evolving our souls, learning our lessons, and if this crystal’s energy somehow assists me in that journey, I’m happy to accept that assistance. It’s maybe part of the grand design of the universe, one of those markers you have to think about to get the message. After all, I’ve come to believe that nothing in the universe happens by coincidence. Which extends to the energies found in different crystals.

At least, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Maybe it’s just my way of justifying all the money I’ve spent on crystals but hey, but I don’t think so.

Love and light to all.

If you wish to take part in the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, the rules are:

The SoCS prompt this week is “cele” which we can use anyway we want. Any word that contains “cele” is ok.

I first thought of celebrate, then celebration, then celery. Well, can’t imagine how to write about celery, so I’ll stick with the first couple. I am so tempted to look up more words, but then it’s not Stream of Consciousness if I do that, is it?

So for now, I am celebrating. A celebration of life.

For days now, and nighttimes too, we have lived with the windows open, and felt the cool air with only the ceiling fans turning.  The air conditioning has been off, and it seems remarkable, since it’s been warm, around 80.  The humidity has been relatively low for Florida, below 60%.  I suppose that might seem high to some people, but we are used to much higher here.  This air, coming in the windows and the screen sliders, feels like cool silk against my skin. That’s worth celebrating!

Speaking of silk, I went to a sound healing a couple weeks ago, which included a beloved gong, and crystal and Tibetan bowls and an ocean drum to simulate the sea.  But the reason it relates to silk is we all lay in silk yoga hammocks, which cover you head to toe, except for directly above you obviously so you can breathe, but you can also see the dancing colored lights the studio projects onto the ceiling If you choose to open your eyes. Although it was not the same as my old gong baths up north, it was quite a lovely experience.

We took our boat out the other day for the afternoon, and it ran beautifully, and so did we, actually.  We are beginning to get familiar with this boat after almost a year.  Something worth celebrating. Dan remarks how he is starting to get his balance, I tell him he’s getting his sea legs.  My sea legs were a bit rusty, having not been on a boat for a decade or so.  But they are back as much as they will come back.  I do find I am not quite so nimble on the boat as I was 10 years ago.  (Thank you arthritis.)  I keep in my head the old adage, “one hand for the boat, one hand for you.”  So far it’s worked.  I will be vigilant.  Even while celebrating.

I’ve had some kind of strange stomach bug the last few days, complete with a low-grade fever, but I’m happy to report that this morning I feel fine.  It’s been so long since I have had anything resembling a stomach bug that it really took the wind out of my sails.  I celebrate that it came and went and that I have a man who sticks by me when I don’t feel well.

In another couple of months, Dan and I will celebrate our 2^nd anniversary. We are tenatively planning a trip to Denver this summer since his daughter and my son both live there. Then we may drive up to New England just for fun. We’d take our time driving 4 or 5 hours a day, and then stopping. We’ll take the scenic route if we do this. My bff’s son is getting married, and I know she will be horribly disappointed if we don’t make it. Besides, it will be a great party, lol! If we drive we can take a trip up to Boston, where Dan grew up, but hasn’t seen in over 30 years.

I certainly hope that life continues to be celebratory, for all of us. There’s always something to be grateful for, and once you know that, you can always find a reason to celebrate life. Toward that end, I can only wish love and light to all.

If you wish to take part in the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, please go to Linda G. Hill’s website, for all the rules, and to read other’s submissions.  https://lindaghill.com/2019/03/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-2-19/

This post is my contribution to the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt of “so far”.  

So far, my life in Florida has been all I hoped it would be. I left old things, relationships, taxes and a job that were no longer going serve me well, (or never did, lol) and found new things, places, weather, (except for the hurricanes) and a relationship that makes my heart sing. So far, the only things I miss about my life in New England are my son and my friends.

Yep, I’ve come so far, in a short 18 months. Every day is an adventure, kind of. We wake up and decide what we are going to do for the day over coffee. Today is cloudy but a nice 65°. We decided to go for a walk. We found a nice lot of land for sale. We’ve been toying with the idea of building a house together. So far, that’s all we’re doing, just learning about the market here. It’s into the future quite a ways, because we’d have to sell both our houses.

On the walk, we walked by a marine business that we drive by all the time, since it’s close to my house. There was a fishing boat on a trailer in the front driveway. It was about 50’ long. The business is owned by one of the premier charter fishing companies in the area. This boat was very narrow, only about 8’, which is super narrow for a boat that long. One of the guys came out and talked to us. He told us that this particular boat runs out 135 miles off shore, fishes for about 6 or 7 hours and runs back in. In one day. That is SO FAR to go for a day trip! But I know Dan would love to go, because they go fish in the deep water, and catch fish that most people don’t have a chance to catch. 40 lb grouper, tuna, and lots more. The guy told us the boat charters for about $3000 for 6 people, so it would be about $500 per person just to get on the boat, then you have your equipment rental (unless you happen to have fishing tackle for 50 lb fish) and tipping the guide, etc. So closer to $600 for the day. It would be the fishing trip of a life time though.

I would consider going with him on a charter that doesn’t go out so far. There’s one that goes out about 70 miles, it’s a high-speed catamaran, and holds more people so the cost gets down to about $300 per person. Not that I’m crazy about fishing, though it is fun. But I’d love to spend the day on the boat, on a beautiful Florida day, on the calm waters of the Gulf of Mexico. Well, somewhat calm. It’s not that I’m bothered by going so far off shore. Once you’re out of sight of land you are out of sight of land and that happens in 10 to 15 miles. It’s just that I can’t justify the $600 or $700 it would cost me. I don’t like to fish enough to pay that much. Even $300 is a real stretch. I wonder if I can pay less, like $100 just to take the ride and not fish?

Dan and I talk about getting a boat, a smaller boat, like 25’ to 30’. It’s another thing that might be in the future for us. We’d both like to have a small cabin so we could stay out for a night or two.

There are lot of new plans with this new life. The days are full, and rich, and drama-free, even if we’re doing nothing but sitting on the beach, sipping tropical drinks. Or home, just working around the house, or cooking a good meal, or even just watching TV.

As far as I can see into the future, it’s a good life, so far!

If you’d like to participate in the SoCS prompt, please go to Linda G. Hill’s blog, for all the details.  Here is the link.  https://lindaghill.com/2018/03/09/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-10-18/   Have fun!!

Back when I was going through my divorce, and my son was living with his father, and I was terrified for him, and was facing an epic battle to save my son, the song The Prayer came across my view and I adopted it as my anthem for that dark period of my life. It was the following lines that I related to so well:

Lead us to a place,

Guide us with you grace,

To a place where we’ll be safe.

Fast forward to the present time. After a few detours and mis-turns, I have gotten to a place that is safe. It came on gradually, but the cumulative result is that I wake up happy every day. I no longer feel dread faced with a new day. I love my life. My son also is safe, and a new and happy life for himself. My ex….well, he’s in a place that’s safe and where my son and I are safe from him, though I could not save his life.

The other day I ran across this Mary Oliver poem, The Journey. It speaks so eloquently of the difficult task ahead of us when we leave an abusive, or even just bad relationship, or situation. I thought I’d share it for those who haven’t run across it. I hope you all enjoy it, and that you’re all safe.

Love and light, all.

This post is written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday writing prompt.  If you would like to join in the fun, please go to her page https://lindaghill.com/2017/10/06/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-717/  for all the rules.

Guessing is not something that I’m good at. I can’t guess the lottery numbers, and I can’t guess what someone who is silent is thinking. I can’t guess how many marbles fill the jar, and I can’t guess how many spilled out.

I can’t guess what was on the mind of the white supremecists in Charlottesville today, and I can’t guess why some fool wanted to mow down the protesters with his car. But then again, can’t I?

I guess, uneducatedly, that if someone wants or attempted to mow down some protestors that he disagreed with them. I guess, that he comes from a place of fear of himself, of shame, and wants to mow down anyone who makes him look at himself for what he is. How dare anyone stand against his desire to blame all people but those who look like him for all the ills he’s brought on himself. His belief that his over-inflated white ego is worth more than anyone else’s?

Geezus. Maybe I’m better at guessing than I thought.

I guess that if someone does something like that, like drive into a crowd of people protesting the hate and violence espoused by the KKK, the Nazi’s, the White Supremecists, the David Dukes of the world, they probably align themselves with that hateful school of thought.

But I still guess that love conquers hate, that only light can dispel the darkness, and I will continue to try to overpower the hate, and fear, of these sad human beings (and I use the term loosely) with love. In the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too big a burden to bear.”

Remember this, when at the end of your day you want to hate these people. Hate what they do, but pray for them, that they can find a different path out of their darkness. A path different than mowing down innocent bystanders. A path different than separation from the rest of the human race.

I guess some will disagree with me. I guess I don’t care. Love is the only answer that really changes anything, and the only answer that lifts anything. So, I’ll stick with it, and at the end of the day, be at peace with it.

I guess.

This post was written as part of the SoCS writing prompt of Linda G. Hill.  If you want to join the fun, please go to her page at https://lindaghill.com/2017/08/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-1217/  and get all the rules about this prompt!

This post is submitted as part of the SoCS (Stream of Consciousness Saturday) prompt by Linda G. Hill.  She offers the prompt every Friday for publication Saturday.  If you’d like to join in, please visit her site, https://lindaghill.com/2017/06/09/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-1017/  for the complete rules.

ADMIT

I admit that this writing prompt is a little difficult. I can see coming at it from too many angles, and I want to choose only one. I think the one I choose will be this. To admit something is to become accountable for it.

If I admit that I have lied, I become accountable for the lie, and the repercussions of the lie. Admitting it and then not recognizing how it ripples out in this world is not being accountable. If someone lies, and can admit it, but not even try to repair the damage done, then the admitting of the lie is simply a self serving tool to say to themselves that they acknowledged it. But it does the world no good for the lie to be admitted, but leave the damage unrepaired.

Sometimes we feel things we don’t want to admit to ourselves. Perhaps it’s that we care too much about something that is not serving us. Perhaps it’s that our actions don’t ripple out and affect others. Perhaps we don’t want to admit that we long for something we can’t have. Sometimes it’s character flaws that we can’t admit to, even when someone points them out.

Admitting a flaw in ourselves is difficult, but we all need to do it. How else can we grow? Some of us are fortunate to have someone in our lives, or a few people in our lives, who can accept our flaws, but still point them out to us to keep us straight. It’s a loving thing to do, to tell someone that they need to admit a truth about themselves. Sometimes it’s a good truth, that we haven’t even considered.

Admit can mean to allow in, in the way a ticket allows you to get into a performance, or a movie, or a baseball game. Admitting our errors also allows us in, into humanity, into the universal consciousness, into the one thing that we are all part of. We buy ourselves a ticket as we peel back the layers which bury our souls. We buy a ticket to peace of mind, happiness, joy, and connection.

It’s coincidental, isn’t it, how admitting to some things feels scary, and vulnerable. The truth is that exposing yourself to that vulnerability can lead to a painful experience, but it also can bring you to the birthplace in your soul of every good thing we can have as human beings.

I admit, freely, that writing helps me work things out. My intention with writing is always to find the next layer that needs peeling back. I admit that I want admittance to the human consciousness.

I also can admit that I couldn’t choose just one meaning of “admit”.

Love and light, all.