Amazing Wonderful Happy Day

happy day.jpg

What a wonderful day.

First of all I managed to sleep until 6 AM, which is a major feat for me.  I sat with my computer for a couple hours, and read and blogged, and thought, and meditated.  Two and a half hours passed without me even noticing, caught up in my own world, in my own passions, in my own thoughts.

Then my son came up from his man-cave in the basement, his (maybe) girlfriend had spent the night. (He’s been seeing her on and off for a long time, and I love this girl.) So I had breakfast with them and that was very nice…since he cooked!

Then I showered and went to my bff’s and we made Christmas cookies, 5 different kinds in 4 1/2 hrs….about 35 or 40 dozen.  It was like a cookie factory, but it was so much fun, we laughed so much, we are like a well oiled machine when we start this.  We’ve been doing it for years.  Her daughter and her daughter’s best friend, college girls now, helped.  That was just added joy and fun.  And I got the belly laughs I have been missing, along with the love of an old, long friendship.

While I was there, another friend texted me and asked me to go out for a drink later, in the late afternoon. Another old, long friendship.  Just a drink,to talk, to catch up.  She also just ended a relationship in which she was so immersed, so crazy about the man.   It was just like mine with Scott’s, anyone and everyone knew it was bad for her….and she finally was able let it go.  She still misses him from time to time, but she knows better now.

So when I got done with the cookies, I came home, got dinner started for my son, and went and sat at the bar at a local watering hole with her, and we laughed, and talked with other people at the bar, and had a GOOD time! What a wonderful way to wrap up the weekend, and begin the week!

Am I, dare I ask, dare I say it, HAPPY????  Maybe???

I came home, I put together dinner, with what I had started for my son (and he ate while I was gone for a couple hours) and put on the Sunday night show on OWN that I love, called Super Soul Sessions.  Last week she had on Brene Brown and Tim Story.  The first hour was a repeat, but honestly, I’ve seen the Brene talk (on the Anatomy of Trust) already a half dozen times and will watch it probably a half dozen more.  The second hour started with Elizabeth Gilbert.  The “Eat Pray Love” author who I idolize (along with Brene Brown, lol).   Liz Gilbert was so profound, she got a standing ovation.  Her subject was on finding and following your curiosity, to find your passion….she is amazing.  She is followed by Michael Beckwith, about participating in your own coming out, your own growth.

God, I am happy.  I have no attachments at the moment, to things that bring me down.  I can see them, and feel compassion, I do not feel the need to get wrapped up in them.  I feel the need, conversely, to be myself, to follow my own path, to listen to the inner voice inside me, to do what feels right to me, in my gut.  To love people….to extend love.

OMG, I AM happy!!!  I AM content. I am in love with my life.  I am happy with where it is going.  I am at peace with the past, and the present, and looking forward to what each day will bring me.

What a wonderful day!  To let go of those things that have dragged you down, and to realize that the possibilities are really, indeed….infinite.  I just heard someone say “Happiness is the joy you feel when you move toward your potential.”

Yeah, I’m happy.  😀

 

 

 

 

Saturday Morning, Post-Gong Musings

sun and moon

Today is the first day it’s been cold enough to feel like December.  It’s not going to last either, and is supposed to warm up again next week.  I am delighted at that. Saving so much money on heating bills.  And I haven’t had to break out my heavy coat yet.   With the winter solstice upon us, that’s incredible.

I love the two solstices, winter and summer. For opposite reasons….Winter because it marks the end of shortening days, and the return of the sun.  I’ve always wanted to see the Paul Winter Consort Winter Solstice concert at St. John’s Cathedral in NYC.  I have a friend who has gone many times.  He has brought in a sun gong for the last couple.

I love the summer solstice, because it is the longest day of the year.  I LOVE long days.  I love sitting outside at 9 PM in the twilight, watching fireflies, talking with friends.  I used to love someone who liked to do that too…..  Hopefully I will find someone else who can delight in the simple pleasures that the universe gives us.

I have a cat, who was given to me by my bff when I was living alone after I left my ex, and my son was living with him.  I was fine alone, I didn’t have an issue with it.  It was still better than dealing with the chaos my ex caused moment to moment.  But my friend couldn’t stand that I was coming home to an empty house, and foisted Maggie on me.  She’s never been a lap cat, never been cuddly.  She’ll sit beside me at times, but never on my lap.  This morning, I was doing my meditation, and she climbed up on my chest, and sat there purring.  I don’t know what all that was about, but it was sweet.  My head had been pretty clear of thoughts, and when she did that I just thought “love” over and over.

Trying to keep my emotions in check as we approach Christmas, and I’m alone.  Trying not to miss him.  It seems ludicrous to my mind, to miss him.  But last night at the gongs, I think I realized he really did have affection for me.  I’ll leave it at that.  I just started trying to dissect it again, and backspaced out a whole paragraph.  I don’t need to go there.  I know what it was, and I know what it is.  That’s enough.

As with yesterday, I am grateful for what I do have.  My son is off this weekend, it will be nice to have him around.  My bff and I are making Christmas cookies tomorrow.  We make 5 or 6 or 7 kinds, her daughter will be with us, home from college.  We generally have spiked eggnog or something while we do it, and Christmas carols on, and laughter.  Oh I love the laughter.

Laughter endears a person to me like nothing else.  And I haven’t done enough of it in the last 6 months.  I intend to change that balance, so that laughter is the rule of the day, and pain rarely shows it’s face.

Love and light to all.