This was inspired by Megan’s Post “keychains” on her “love will lead you home” blog. https://lovewillleadyouhome.wordpress.com/2015/07/01/keychains/
Gifts….I have two gifts from S. He bought a few others, and I threw them away when he did the prison whore. Just didn’t want any reminders of him around then. But the two I kept were a book, on wire-wrapping sea glass. And a deck prism light, just like the one in the picture.
The book he gave me for no reason except that he saw it and knew I enjoy wire wrapping, and love sea glass. I have a few pieces I’ve done. One or two might be on my website, http://www.sundogsdesigns.etsy.com, but most of them I can’t seem to part with, lol. The book was a genuinely thoughtful gift, and I’ll always think of it with some affection.
The deck prism is one of my favorite things. When he did the prison whore I hid it away for a couple of months, I couldn’t stand the reminder of him. But I love it, it’s a solid glass prism, a replica of the kind used in old sailing ships to bring light into the lower decks. It sits in a fitted lighted tray. It’s next to my bed, and when I turn it on in the night, it doesn’t hurt my eyes, it just casts a soft warm glow in the room. It’s been there long enough now, that it’s just mine, it does not pull at my heartstrings to light it, or look at it.
Reading Megan’s blog, though, I remembered how thrilled I was to get anything from him, any sign that he cared even a little bit for me as much as I did for him. Maybe he did for awhile. In his own way. He just couldn’t stay with it maybe. I don’t know.
I gave him some things too…a lot more things because I always brought him something when I went to Florida. Two sailboat sculptures, because he loved wooden sailboats, one for his birthday, one for Christmas. A couple of hats, a mermaid mobile. And a handpainted small curio box, nautical motif, decorated with shells and a sharks tooth (because he was a fisherman once). An inner child crystal. A small compass that hung on a chain and really worked, and a pendant on a chain with his astrological sign on it. One of the myriad times we broke up he took them all and put them in a box. Where they remained, the last time I was at his house. The crystal he threw into a river near his home.
It made me kind of sad, that he took the things down. The two sailboat sculptures were really pretty. I am half expecting him to send them back to me. I hope he doesn’t, I don’t know what I’d do with any of it. It was all for him. The things I threw away were lingerie, a candle ( I didn’t really like the scent). They were all too personal and to intimate to keep around when he wasn’t. If I had them now, I’d probably throw them out.
Remnants of a bad relationship. But on their own, they stand alone, all of them. They were lovely and given with real true affection. Too bad it couldn’t last, but it’s reality, it couldn’t. I kind of wonder, if he keeps them in the box, hidden away, and years from now opens the box and finds them, will he remember me with a smile, with anger? Will he look at it as a treasure chest of things he’d forgotten, or will he throw them out as a bad memory? I guess I’ll never know. Just idle thoughts on the warm night of the 2nd day.