
Sun on the water
Ripples of gold light the day
Blue sky perfection
Warmth in October
Making me happy I’m here.
Barefoot in the sand.
Balmy breezes drift
Across bare shoulders swaying
Music fills the air.

Sun on the water
Ripples of gold light the day
Blue sky perfection
Warmth in October
Making me happy I’m here.
Barefoot in the sand.
Balmy breezes drift
Across bare shoulders swaying
Music fills the air.

Who knocks on my door?
The demons of the past,
Or the new ones
That I don’t know yet?
Is it love?
Am I so afraid of it now?
Fearful of being blinded by the light
And in my blindness
Cursed,
Laid waste to?
I don’t know.
I just don’t know.
How I long for that easy life again,
The one where everything made sense.
The one that flowed like water from my veins,
And heightened all my senses.
Now they are heightened in a different way.
Hyper-vigilance
Defensive.
Protective.
Fearful.
Come back to me,
Peaceful ocean.
Come back and render me speechless again.
Lift my face to the sun,
Let it’s warmth dry my salty tears.
Let me dance in the rhythmic waves,
Let the wind rearrange my hair.
Take my naked body and baptize me
Once again,
In the joyful sea of life.

Been a long busy day. I didn’t stop for 5 minutes all day, except for lunch. a 9 hour work day, plus an hour drive time. But lunch was lovely. I went to my spot at the cove on the Connecticut River, pulled up to the water, and read, watched the seagulls, listened to the wind on the water, and even did a 5 minute meditation.
I was in a good mood all day. It was sunny (it’s been raining for 2 days here), and not cold yet, which is such a blessing. It’s been exactly 2 weeks since the big drama, and I feel my blood pressure going down daily (not that it’s ever high. I have pretty low blood pressure, happily.) My psyche is becoming my own again, I’m much more in balance than any time in the last 6 or 8 months. I’m not obsessing over some man who was never going to offer me what I needed, or wanted. I see him….I have always seen him. I forgive him. And I’m done with him. Of course, sometimes I miss talking to him, that was just fun, but it always led to heartbreak, so when I remember that, I can let go of missing him pretty quick. And easily.
Healing completely just takes time. But I do believe Rumi is right, the wound is where the light enters us. And I do believe that what results will be more beautiful than it was.
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